A letter has arrived at Cranmer’s Tower:
Dear Archbishop Cranmer,
My name is Nur. It was Ayshe, but that name was forbidden by Xinjiang Communist Party, so I changed it. I am relieved that I now have a less Muslim-sounding name, and I thank Chen Quanquo, our beloved leader in Xinjiang, for freeing me from an extremist oppressive identity. I feel as though I have always been Nur. I am sure it was my destiny.
I am writing to say that we Uyghur women like the new camps very much. Some say they are detention camps, but they are more like holiday camps! We have comfortable bedrooms, fully functioning bathrooms, and healthcare when we need it. We even have gardens where we can plant flowers and sit in the sun beneath beautiful blue skies or exercise when we want to. We feel very much at home here.
Uyghur women are also grateful that we have access to abortion and sterilization facilities. As you will know, family planning is very important, and our bodily autonomy has been assured by our beloved Chen Quanquo. We are no longer baby-making machines destined to cook and clean all day, but we can now use our time profitably in other pursuits, such as making hats or working in the textile factory or learning new skills entirely, for which we are paid generously. We even get holidays!
To those who say this is forced labour, are we wrong to create a better life with our own hands? This is vocational training. Can’t women with children go out and find jobs? And if we don’t, would you pay and feed them for us?
Our minds have been emancipated and enlightened with gender equality and reproductive health, just like you have in the West. We are now more confident and independent, and a great deal happier than we were. Fewer babies reduces our carbon footprint, as well!
I would also like to emphasize that the overall improvement in population quality in Xinjiang is a voluntary choice we have made. We are benefiting greatly from a unified family planning policy, a changed mindset on marriage and procreation, and less religious extremism. Our children are discarding backward and outdated thoughts on partner selection and procreation, and focusing on personal development.
I can’t tell you how much we are relieved by the eradication of religious extremism in Xinjiang. I know a lot of mosques have been destroyed, but this was because many were very old and structurally unsafe, and quite a few were used to plan acts of terrorism. Islam is an ideological illness which poisons the mind, and now there is a cure for religious thinking. As you will appreciate, deradicalization is a good thing. I now quite like the taste of pork, and the men enjoy the occasional beer. They also look more handsome without long beards!
We Uyghurs have a saying: ‘Two pennies earned with one’s hard work is better than a mountain given by the emperor.’ We want a good life, so we work and make money with our hard work. Why would we need to be forced to do so?
Xinjiang belongs to the People’s Republic of China, and thanks to the Communist Party we are experiencing a golden period of prosperity, with sustained economic development, a harmonious and stable society, and people living and working in peace and contentment. We are eradicating absolute poverty, and beginning to understand for the first time the magnificent feats of human rights.
As the world has come to know, attempting to inoculate a whole population against Covid-19 requires giving vaccinations not just to the already-afflicted few, but to a critical mass of people. That is why so many of us are being given free holidays in these lovely camps, in time to treat and cleanse the virus from our brains and liberate our minds.
Uyghur women thank Twitter and Jack Dorsey especially for allowing truth to prevail over political lies and bias.
With respectful greetings,