The Last Chronicle of Barset
Goodness! Well my dears, here we are. The end of a year and, sadly, the end of my weekly missives. If I have managed to raise a smile, or even…
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Easter 2021: The country remains in lockdown due to multiple coronavirus reinfections…
This is the 14th contribution to His Grace’s emergency team ministry during the coronavirus pestilence. The author has been enjoying Cranmer’s blog for some years, and is not actually a chef. Easter 2021. The country remains in lockdown due…
Have a wonderful, roast-chestnut and marshmallow Christmas with lashings of eggnog, stilton and sprouts
A very festive ‘Goodness!’ to you all! Well, I must say The Palace is looking rather splendid, the decorations this year being a riot of green, gold and red. Mr.…
‘God rest ye merry gentlethings, Let gender not dismay…’
Goodness! What an interesting week and no mistake. Mr. Harding and the Cathedral choir have been out and about wassailing, bringing good cheer to the inhabitants of our little town,…
“When it comes down to selling one’s soul to the Devil or to Brussels, one should opt for sulphur every time”
Goodness! The festive season does come around with amazing regularity, does it not? Snow has yet to settle on the rooftops and gables of Barchester, though a cold wind rattles…
The initiation of The Feast of St. Brexit
Goodness! Well, my dears, my Lord the Bishop (and I agree with him) has decided to initiate the Feast of St. Brexit on the 31st September every year, an event…
The Bride of Drunckerstein (a Gothic horror)
Goodness! Little did I realise that we have a budding author in our midst! The Archdeacon called at The Palace on Monday morning with a handwritten manuscript. “I wonder, dear…
The Ghost of Brexit Lost
Bells play an important role in the life of Barchester, as perhaps they do nationally. Here, the cathedral chimes mark the passing hours and summon good Christian folk to services,…
Cloning Sir Nigel Farage and smuggling him into the Visegrád nations…
Well, my dears, the preparations for the 1815 commemorations in Barchester are well under way. The statue of General Sir Bufton Tufton-Dufton, who led the 23rd Foot and Mouth Hussars…
If junior ethnic minority staff at the FCO are to ‘reverse mentor’ senior white staff on ‘bias’, should each junior be assigned a white junior-junior to counter their ‘bias’?
Was it Karl Marx or John Bercow who said ‘All cultures are equal’? Only I get so terribly confused, as both talk nonsense and both have beards. I’m afraid it…
An apocalyptical tale of talentless celebrity, venal politicians, Satanist clerics and baking competitions
Ah, the season of mists and mellow fruitfulness is upon us once again. The last few days in Barchester have been quite sublime, the weather has been exceptionally kind, and…
Anjem Choudary has been completely rehabilitated through diversity and equality classes
Goodness! How quickly the week flies by and I find myself at the escritoire scribbling a few thoughts for the entertainment of my dear friends. Quite a lot has been…
‘Away with Common Prayer and hello Common Purpose’
Where did it all go wrong, my dears? It is a pertinent question, now the church’s one foundation is a frilly garment from Ann Summers and the view from the…
A vacancy at Bishopthorpe – let the jockeying commence! The front-runners are…
Goodness! A vacancy at Bishopthorpe – let the jockeying commence! Soon the evensong bongos will be stilled forever as a new archbishop moves in, dog-collar and all. Who will it…
‘As the tin-pot Boudicca of Brexit dons the knee-pads of supplication, and the Von en-Trapp family of Salzburg renew their commitment to open borders for lonely goatherders…’
Goodness! Heresy breaks out in Middlesex, where the bishopess, the Rt. Revd. Gloria ‘Genderfreezone’ Ganderbody, declares she doesn’t “want young girls or young boys to hear us constantly refer to…
Corbyn’s Labour is a broad church – except for Blairites, Anglicans and Brexiteers
Spare a thought for poor Mr. Orban, a real politician giving an account of himself to the pretend ones in the European Parliament and being lectured on democracy by the…
‘Perhaps we could have a little more of the Good News and rather less Pravda’
Goodness! It seems Archbishop Welmeaning, whilst preparing his Christmas sermon (one can never be too early), got no further than Luke 2:1: ‘…all the world should be taxed’, and decided…
May’s rhythmic wobblings, French mollusc-scoffers, Frank Field’s wake-up call, and the papal visit to Ireland
Every year around this time, the ethnic Norwegians who live in the Snotting Hill area of Barchester hold their carnival. It is, I assure you, a most colourful and vibrant…
‘Does Mr. Rees-Mogg see a dagger before him? If not, can we send him to Specsavers?’
Goodness! That young Mr. Rees-Mogg has a catchy turn of phrase, doesn’t he? Comparing Chancellor Hammond-Organ to ‘a dog returning to its vomit’ is a simile no dachshund would welcome.…
Anglophobia: man arrested for fixing cucumber sandwich to church door
Goodness! There is a real touch of Autumn about this morning, though the sun is shining and there is an air of bonhomie about the town. As is customary in…