mrs proudie
Uncategorized

“Satan’s fist and the Big State are but one and the same”

Hwæt! There you are, something different to open proceedings – not at all ‘another week, same stuff’, as some might opine. As you may suppose, I have been brushing upon my Beowulf, an Anglo-Saxon treasure which tells the story of a brave hero setting out to slay horrific man-eating monsters (not, on this occasion, an oblique reference to Harriet Harperson); a tale pertinent to our times, for we have many ‘monsters’ rampaging the land, hiding in the undergrowth of politics, education, religion, health and the arts, not to mention social services. But who could play the part of a latter-day Beowulf (apart from the Archdeacon, of course)? No point in looking towards ‘The Lady is for Gurning,’ not after the disastrous Conference speech on top of the Florentine Capitulation. The Turkish Buffoon might know a thing or two about Classical history, but is not PM material. As for St. Jezza of Kumbaya… words fail me (well, they don’t, but one must maintain decorum). Quo vadis, O my country, I hear you cry? Quo vadis indeed!

My Lord the Bishop and I are great fans of country music. The Wurzels are a particular favourite, and their rustic version of Handel’s ‘O wee like sheep’ is guaranteed to please the episcopal ear, provided a mop and bucket is handy. As yet, nobody has climbed the Cathedral Tower with an assortment of automatic weaponry and fired upon the music aficionados gathered on the Palace lawn to hear Mr. Slope perform his party piece, ‘Here We Go Gathering Nuts in May’, with appropriate hand actions, but perhaps it is only matter of time. As ever, the Americans are way ahead of us on this one, as recent events in Las Vegas have confirmed. Of course, the disarmament brigade are demanding more and more gun control – and they do have a point – but curiously, when we suffer vehicles ploughing through Christmas crowds in Berlin, or young women stabbed in Marseilles, or priests beheaded in their churches, there is no similar call for immigration control. Funny, isn’t it?

No, sadly, it isn’t…

I’m rummaging in my Gladstone to find something new and refreshing, not the same-old, same-old… Of course! Viva España! Well, perhaps not so much… as things are getting hotter out there by the minute. The Catalans want to go, Madrid wants them to stay, and the King of Spain is getting his beard singed by all and sundry for sticking his royal neck out (albeit not as far as Louis XVI). I do love a good Bourbon but they are so hard to find. The Archdeacon, it has to be said, is strong for the status quo:

“One cannot led the rabble decide their own fate,” he spluttered whilst downing a rather fine Rioja at dinner yesterday evening. “For one thing, they vote with their hearts, not their heads, and for another thing, state education is specifically designed to prevent the emergence of political – and individual – thought.”

It is true. This is what we set out to achieve at Doctor Wortle’s School, where we churn out generation after generation of happy, contented Ag. Labs. As a system it works… don’t knock it.

Oh, I am slipping into my old ways…

(Memorandum to self: innovation, innovation, innovation… that has to be my watchword this week! Can’t be scribbling the same old tripe… got to be innovative!).

Oh, the stress!

Mrs. Quiverfull called this morning in a state of agitation. She had read somewhere that the Danish Midwives Association have said it is now possible to detect Downs Syndrome babies in the womb, so that they may be safely aborted. As the mother of an impressive brood, dear Mrs. Q. was horrified, and one shares her concern. Eugenics is like Tony Blair – it constantly turns up. It even reared its head in Manchester, when Mrs. Dismay announced henceforth it would be presumed that everyone consented to have their organs harvested by the state after death. Satan’s fist and the Big State are but one and the same; its fingers clasped around the throat of freedom and democracy. One wonders if this particular step into the abyss is to provide transgendered folk with the bits and pieces they need…

But I must refrain… His Grace thinks I have a downer on the hapless Mrs. Dismay. Whatever gave him that idea?

Here’s a bit of news not found anywhere else. My dear nephew now works for Mr. Blair’s International Institute for Global Dominance (I know, I know… he’s no longer in my Will). He was coming out of the water closet the other day and literally bumped into Messrs. Blair and Cameron – it seems the two ex-premiers are working together on this global project but are looking for a celebrity to be the ‘human face’. My nephew tells me they are thinking of some Irish minstrel named Bono (sounds Italian to me but then we are all mixed up these days, are we not?). Well, you heard it here first.

Have I trodden enough new ground? Has my post been refreshingly new and of the moment? If not, may I leave you to ponder on this quote the lost Epistle of St. Agapanthus of Argus: “Frankly, I say unto you, I don’t give a monkey’s…”

So my dears, as the inventor of all things new and wonderful falls onto the buzz saw of indifference and splatters the whited sepulchre of constructive criticism with the blood, sweat and tears of a very English sense of humour, I bid you all flap-toodle-pip.

Be good, be vigilant, be alert… Britain needs lerts.

  • michaelkx

    “One wonders if this particular step into the abyss is to provide transgendered folk with the bits and pieces they need…” over my dead body they will, madam

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      That may indeed be the plan…

    • Len

      But they need the bits they have not been supplied with..

      • Chefofsinners

        The BBC has a new Saturday morning children’s program in development. Working title ‘Multicoloured Swap Shop’, Noel Edmonds will match callers who wish to swap gender. Everything from clothes, toys and names to parents and bodily organs will be swapped. By facilitating this the BBC will fulfil its mission to ‘entertain, deform and eradicate’ British society.

        • Many a true word said in jest. I bet they are already planning such a program.

    • Linus

      Yes, that’s the point. Although Given the wear and tear on Pixtian organs after decades of secret and surreptitious masturbation as you struggle to cope with the frustrations of Pixtian abstinence, I doubt you’ll be their first choice of cadaver.

      • Len

        lol , what strange delusions you have linus.

        • Terry Mushroom

          Len, he craves attention no matter how poor the quality. Good manners or irritation attempt to engage with him. He is best ignored.

  • Father David

    Winter draws on, dear lady and I am hoping that unlike Mrs. Dismay, you steer clear of coughs and sneezes. I expect that the Palace at Barchester can prove, at times, to be a draughty place as the winds whistle through the corridors. So, do take care and wrap up warm and keep well throughout the approaching winter months. We would all hate you to be indisposed and unable to write your wonderfully expressive missives. By the way, my own dear wife has a spare muff, you are quite welcome to borrow the same to keep your tiny hands from freezing.

    • Manfarang

      Well the Palace could be locked up for the winter and Mrs. P could head for Burma. Very nice winters there. A new Anglican bishop is being consecrated and enthrowned in Burma this weekend.

      • Father David

        The dear lady may well prefer to winter in the Italian Lakes or maybe the South of France where the climate is much more clement during the colder months than it is in bucolic England. Recently, we have seen all too clearly how a cough and a chill can ruin a woman’s standing and authority and I would be deeply distressed if that were to happen to Mrs. Proudie – Heaven forefend. The smooth running of the diocese of Barchester is essential especially in these calamitous days when the rest of the Church of England seems to be going to Hell in a handcart. A firm hand on the tiller is vital at Barchester and the bishop’s wife providentially affords just that.

      • Linus

        Enthrowned, eh?

        What a good idea. In the general direction of the deep blue sea, one hopes.

        • Manfarang

          There there I’ve got you thinking of the line-crossing ceremony.

      • Chefofsinners

        Which is another place the youth of Britain can’t find on a map. ‘Cause it’s not called that any more.

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      The wind does indeed whistle through the corridors, nooks and crannies, but several petticoats and a fur-line bustle wards off most of them. We do have to put up with several annoying little squeaks, but for some time we ascribed this to your good self being inadvertently stuck up the priest hole.

      • Father David

        Ma’am can I assure you that I have never been to the palace at Barchester so I can only assume that it is A.N. Other stuck in your hole. I suspect that it is either the bishop or Mr. Slope? For a punishment this seems to me to be a tad draconian – no wonder you have to put up with annoying little squeaks if either or other is accommodated for a period of corrective training in such a damp and unpleasant environment.

  • Len

    I’m afraid Mrs May is well out of her depth dealing with the playground bullies Merkel and Macron. Macron of course will only do what Merkel tells him to do as he is scared stiff of her.These bullies have demanded that May hands over all her cash then they will tell her exactly where to go. Other in the EU playground view the bullies as they go about their business learning their lesson on not to cross these two.
    You can join the EU but you can never leave.
    We need a British Bulldog to show his teeth to this pair much as Churchill did in the past.

    • Chefofsinners

      How wise of the French to elect a leader who is used to being dominated by an older woman.

      • Bernard from Bucks

        Two older women in fact?

    • David

      Hear, hear Len, hear, hear !

  • IrishNeanderthal

    I do wonder about Boris the Turk. Not, at present, on that account, but is he fit to be foreign secretary at all, since he doesn’t seem to “get” foreigners?

    When a certain Mr Obama came over telling us that we ought to remain in that blob of which the Zollverein is but one aspect, Boris — living up to his name, which means something similar to “warlike” in Russian — immediately blamed Mr Obama’s Kenyan ancestry, as if it were a hangover from the days of the Mau Mau. But Mr Obama’s mother dumped his Kenyan father when young Barack was quite young, and it is she who would have filled his head with all those ideas. So often high-flying American women tend to make me think of Wallis Simpson.

    An African I know was most indignant at this. “Why doesn’t Boris blame his Irish ancestry?” I think Mr Obama had been stirring things over in the Emerald Isle by invoking the name of Dan O’Connell.

    Be that as it may, I do think Mr Johnson (not the subject of Joyce Cary’s novel) doesn’t really “get” foreigners. Maybe he should be swopped with Amber Rudd, so that she cannot muck about at home with the “equalities” agenda.

    As for the Wurzels, here is something from Italy. The refrain goes “pick up the hoe and fix it”. The first verse refers to an appendix, the second to a would-be astronomer who lets his telescope slip so it points through a bedroom (?) window. I’m not that fluent in Italian, but it is a very jolly song, worth watching for the music alone.

    Alza la zappa – STEFANO TISI – YouTube

    I wonder if “Alza la Zappa” meaning “raise the hoe” might be the slogan of their equivalent of our Countryside Alliance?

  • Chefofsinners

    Presumably Blair and Cameron were heading into the water closet together. This explains everything.

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      I was going to use the phrase ‘the necessary house’ instead of water closet, but decided against. Had I though on and considered modern usage, I’d have been better sticking with my first thought.

  • Manfarang

    The Turkish Buffoon to music

    Good show!

  • dannybhoy

    Thank you for composing another light hearted look at life. Please ignore the gainsayers and don’t as Mr Slope might say, let them put you off your stroke…
    Well my dear Mrs Proudie, has the eminent Mr Slope considered answering his country’s call? A man of conviction and familiar with the greasy pole that is politics. He may be getting on in years but the challenge of leading us through the sterile badlands of Brexit negotiations might be just what is needed to re-invigorate him.
    That, a copious supply of your famous hobnobs and the backing of the stalwart burgers of Barchester may yet lead us into the Promised Land of Independence and Economic expansion…

    • Linus

      The burgers of Barchester, eh? McDonald’s or Burger King?

      I wonder why it is that this blog attracts a readership with such poor language skills. Bigots in general tend to be less well-educated than the norm, but the grammar and spelling I see here are nothing short of catastrophic.

      No wonder your country is going to the dogs. When even the defenders of tradition and “standards” can’t string together a coherent sentence in their own tongue, something is seriously wrong.

      Now you’re leaving the EU, why not petition the US for admission to their union as the 51st state? For all their faults, at least the Americans understand the importance of language as a unifying force, and teach their children how to spell.

      • Sarky

        The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.

      • meltemian

        I frequently have to argue with my computer’s ‘spellchecker’ regarding its view on English spelling!!

        • carl jacobs

          If you want to settle the argument once and for all, just appeal to Webster’s.

          • Anton

            Which edition, though?

          • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

            But we are English…we refer to Oxford

          • carl jacobs

            Hrmmm. That might explain why you end up arguing with the Spellchecker. You are using the wrong standard.

      • Inspector General

        Ah!

        The_unhappy_rumblings_of_an_ill-mannered_bowel…

      • dannybhoy

        Quite right Linus, it should have been ‘burghers’. Thanks for putting me right.

        • Chefofsinners

          I’m pretty sure Linus thought you meant ‘buggers’.

        • Anton

          Somebody called Dannybhoy should not have missed that “h”!

          • dannybhoy

            Sut up Anton..

          • dannybhoy

            Sut up Anthon

          • Chefofsinners

            ilarious!

      • Manfarang

        Yes the Americans have made some small improvements to English orthography, center, theater etc. getting rid of some the French influence in English spelling.

      • Chefofsinners

        Ah, sweet memories of Pissoiregate!
        You never were one to let hypocrisy stand in your way, were you?

        • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

          Hypocrisy has no rank – it is equally spread across the social strata

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      As always you cheer me up and spur me on…many thanks!

      • dannybhoy

        I have always thought the doings and characters of Barchester to be this blog’s version of ‘The Archers’. It’s a good and often hilarious read on a Saturday morning.

  • bluedog

    No, no, no, Mrs P. There is no alternative to the Turkish Buffoon, as you unkindly call Boris. He has his faults, one concedes, and one one sometimes fears for the virtue of Signora Frederica Mogherini, the EU Most High Foreign Official, and her Sublime Porte. But that aside, have you noticed that Jacob Rees-Mogg is a Boris supporter? As a Mogg supporter, are you being disloyal to your own cause by not following the Mogg’s lead? Your current position is self-contradictory.

    • Father David

      As a supporter of Jeremy Corbyn For P. M. I’d warmly welcome Jacob Rees-Mogg as the next leader of the Conservative Party. Bring it on!

      • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

        Do go and lie down in a darkened room, dear Reverend sir, I fear you have a touch of the Corbyns…

        • Father David

          Dear lady, that you for your pastoral concern but mercifully there is no known medical cure for Corbynitis.

          • Manfarang

            Try some Lily the Pink medicinal compound. It cures all diseases.

          • Anton

            Most efficacious in every case.

          • IrishNeanderthal

            Or the Italian version:

            LA SBORNIA “E Trinca Trinca Trinca”

            Translation of chorus:

            Hey Drink-a Drink-a Drink-a
            throw it down with a push
            Then you’ll see that good party
            Is the medicine for a world in ruin
            do not worry, that’s the way it is.

          • Chefofsinners

            Meeting him, possibly?

          • Father David

            What a great honour and privilege that would be.

          • Chefofsinners

            Never meet your heroes, they say. In this case I would positively encourage it.
            He has himself met many of his own heroes, of course: the IRA, Hamas, Hezbollah, anti-semites and dictators of all kinds, and even taken £20k for appearing on an Iranian TV channel banned in the UK!

          • Father David

            Apart from that, you quite like him?

          • Chefofsinners

            Not really.

          • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

            Yes indeed, he may present you with one of his bicycle clips as a momento

          • Father David

            Or may even shew me his album of manhole cover photographs, or, still my beating heart, a guided tour of his allotment?
            Didn’t old Dave Cameron used to ride from Number 10 to the Palace of Westminster on a bicycle – with his official car behind him carrying his suit and his briefcase? How green is that?

          • dannybhoy

            You’re joking surely?
            To meet him might be interesting as a happenstance, but not by appointment.
            And it certainly wouldn’t be an honour and a privilege.

      • David

        Socialism, especially of the Corbyn variety, inevitably leads to poverty, misery and tyranny. Be warned by the terrible fate of Venezuela, a country which with such oil reserves should be prosperous under a half-sensible government.
        If comrade Corbyn got into No 10 investors would flee to other shores, the unions would become full of impossible demands and unemployment would rise. Do set aside your romantic fantasies of utopia on earth.

        • Manfarang

          Unfortunately for you young people in Britain can’t find Venezuela on a map.

          • David

            Have standards fallen that low ?

          • Coniston

            Yes. Judging by my young relatives.

          • David

            Sobering.

        • Father David

          I’m more concerned with extending the Kingdom of God rather than searching for utopia.

          • Anton

            So you’d extend the kingdom of God by having Corbyn, an atheist, in No.10 rather than Rees-Mogg, a believer in Christ?

          • Father David

            Whose views on the social; gospel are more aligned with the Lord’s Corbyn’s or Rees-Mogg’s?

          • David

            Let’s not conflate Jesus’ rightful exhortations for us to be merciful and generous to those down on their luck with state sanctioned robbery. The state is a most uncaring, insensitive and heartless machine, usually most active to enhance the power of politicians.
            My grandfather was a staunch Methodist and Labour Party supporter but the days when there was a strong Christian presence in that party are now long gone. Within the Conservatives Rees – Mogg stands out as one of the few genuinely Christian MPs.

          • Father David

            It is often said that the Labour Party owes more to Methodism than it does to Marxism and Christian values are still the values upon which Socialism is built in this great nation of ours.

          • bluedog

            There is nothing socialist about Christ’s exhortation for the individual to find salvation. Neither does the parable of the talents, for example, shy away from the diversity of outcome that is the hallmark of individual enterprise.

          • Father David

            “I am puzzled by which Bible people are reading when they suggest that religion and politics don’t mix.”
            Desmond Tutu

          • Anton

            That was true until perhaps a lifetime ago. Not since.

          • David

            That was true forty years ago but no longer. They now dance to the tune of the globalists and cultural Marxists who care nothing for the working class. My grandfather would be totally shocked by what is happening.

          • Father David

            I suspect that your grandfather would be delighted by a Labour victory at the next General Election or, even though it is highly unlikely, would he prefer another clapped out Tory government, one which certainly would not care for the working class and the poor?

          • David

            No he couldn’t relate to the north London, Islington, champagne socialists of the internationalist Labour Party at all. He was a traditional working class patriotic man who believed in hard work, honesty and thrift. The way Labour has encouraged an increase in numbers of unwed mothers, effectively married to the state, would have appalled him. Moreover he would not have trusted Corbyn and his Momentum crew, as he was no extremist.

          • Father David

            So Grandpa would prefer a Tory victory at the next election then?

          • David

            Yes probably.
            He would despise what Labour has become.

          • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

            Not so much in modern Labour, or as we say in Barchester, the Islamic Party of Great Britain.

          • Father David

            As the Labour Party wasn’t founded until 1900, the year before the old queen died, I doubt if you knew ought of the People’s Party in Barchester in your day. I further doubt Islam made much of an impression in Victorian Barchester, although Queen Victoria (aka Dame Judi Dench) was very fond of her Munshi – Abdul.

          • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

            Indeed, the state is a monster – the socialist state doubly so

          • betteroffoutofit

            And Merky and May are Grendel’s Mother

          • Anton

            A question whose answer you think is obvious. Why?

          • Father David

            Anton, you are employing a technique often employed by our Blessed Lord to answer a question with another question without necessarily answering the original question.

          • Anton

            That’s good enough precedent for me!

          • Father David

            And me

          • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

            Rees-Moggs of course – he opposes abortion and defends traditional marriage…he also believes gay sex sinful. All biblical…next question?

          • James60498 .

            Aren’t you talking about the views of Mohammed?

          • Norman Yardy

            Anton, Teresa is hardly a Christian by promoting the achievement of the Conservative party introducing SSM.

          • Anton

            Where did I dispute that? The point of my dialogue with Father David is very specific.

          • David

            Extending the Kingdom of God is my main concern as well.

          • Father David

            “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!”

          • David

            On that we can agree.

          • Len

            How can two walk in step if they are not in accord?

          • Father David

            I excelled at the Three-legged race at school Sport Days

          • Len

            You have 3 legs?

          • Father David

            I do indeed Len, as for one of my turns at parish social events I used to give a rendition of “Jake the Peg”, with my extra leg! But funnily enough, for some reason I have had to remove the act from my repertoire.

          • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

            How unpleasant it would be if we all lived in the same house….

          • Father David

            In my Father’s house are many mansions.
            When Mr. Corbyn gets in I wonder how many of us will be living in palaces?
            I’ve passed your name on to be added to Jeremy’s list of those needing a programme of “re-education”

          • dannybhoy

            Hm.
            I can think of a few here who might rather enjoy it..

          • Manfarang

            It would make good reality TV.

          • Chefofsinners

            It is like the precious oil upon the head that ran down upon the beard, even Jeremy’s beard. Oh, sorry, that’s bacon fat from his breakfast.

          • Father David

            Aren’t you getting Jezza and Ed confused?

          • Chefofsinners

            They don’t need my help to get confused.

          • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

            And who would patrol its borders?

          • Father David

            Why, the angels and the archangels, of course

        • Coniston

          Venezuela – also Argentina, which in the 1930s was assumed to be nearly on the point of joining N. America and Western Europe in prosperity and democracy (despite its lack of a democratic past). But a series of disastrous governments, notably Peron’s (a mixture of socialism & fascism), led to financial & economic collapse and military dictatorship. Democracy is not inevitable, and can quickly vanish. But decline can be reversed. See:
          http://www.standpointmag.co.uk/node/4049/full
          http://www.standpointmag.co.uk/features-november-10-a-cure-for-our-national-amnesia-michael-nazir-ali-educational-reform-michael-gove

        • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

          In science we have the litmus test: for socialism, we have the toilet paper test. If in doubt, ask a Venezuelan.

      • bluedog

        ‘As a supporter of Jeremy Corbyn For P. M.’ Some things shouldn’t be mentioned in polite society, FD, unless one deliberately choses the role of Enfant Terrible. But that involves challenging Linus for the honour. Possibly unwise.

        • Father David

          The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom

          • bluedog

            The socialist God is clearly a creation of the OT and without love.

          • Father David

            Last time I looked the God of the Old Testament was exactly the same as the God of the New Testament as there IS only ONE God – incarnate in His Son, Jesus Christ, Our Saviour who taught us all to love our neighbour no matter how much we may disagree with them.

          • bluedog

            When does your local soviet march in support of Leviticus?

          • Father David

            Whenever Ash Wednesday falls on Maundy Thursday.
            Funnily enough we have just been mightily entertained at our church by a magnificent choir from St. Petersburg, they also participated in our Eucharist this morning. Unfortunately, last night’s concert did not include a hearty rendition of The Red Flag.

          • Anton

            Learn from the people who actually lived under communism.

          • Father David

            A tad naive of you to suggest that the future Corbyn government will be anything like that of Soviet Russia.
            Learn from the people who actually now live under the misrule of Mrs. Dismay.

          • Father David

            argumentum ad absurdum

      • Hi

        Tories scoffed and gloated about Corbyn- far left wing Marxist 70s throwback – thinking he’d never seem ” credible”….

        • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

          He still isn’t, dear Hannah

          • Hi

            I dread to think what the country would be with him in power….

        • Len

          Corbyn has a secret plan, he just tells everyone what they want to hear.

        • Father David

          Who is being scoffed at now?

          • Hi

            That’s my point re mogg .

          • Father David

            Good point, well made
            Keep high that banner, Hannah!

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      Political friendships are but chaff in the wind of events, dear Bluedog…and my current position is by the tea table with hobnobs and Earl Grey…I commend it to you.

      • bluedog

        One is shocked by your fickleness, Mrs P, having imagined that Constance was your middle-name.

        • Hi

          It’s known as Perfidious Albion in British foreign policy?

          • dannybhoy

            Perfidious Albion indeed..
            Good article here Hannah which considering your ancestry you might find interesting.. https://www.newdawnmagazine.com/articles/perfidious-albion-an-introduction-to-the-secret-history-of-the-british-empire

          • Anna

            Interesting article- it proves that deceit can take you far, but then you eventually lose everything built up through deception and treachery. Psalm 2 and Psalm 7:14.

          • dannybhoy

            One might say that is what has happened to us, but I incline more towards the idea that cultures are like human beings. They grow into adolescence and then maturity, and the full flowering of their vigour. Then job done, they go slowly into decay. That seems to be the pattern. During our period of global expansion and influence we did some ba-aad and deceitful things, like all other nations.
            My prayer for our country is that God would so work in the Church (aka the Body of Christ) that we will cry out in repentance and for revival , and see a renewal of faith, justice and morality in our society.

          • Anna

            “Wealth obtained by fraud will dwindle, but whoever earns it through labour will multiply it” (Proverbs 13:11 HCSB) and “A fortune made by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapour and a deadly snare” (Proverbs 21:6 NIV).

            I agree that all nations are wicked in their own way. However, some of the nations built largely on the Protestant work ethic, such as the Scandinavian nations, have done very well, in terms of producing prosperous and lawful societies with enviable degrees of social harmony and low levels of inequality. We also have the example of the old Quakers who built very successful businesses without resorting to questionable methods. The people in these nations have now turned away from God and are beginning to reap the harvest.

            Yet, the above examples prove the truth of God’s word; sadly His chosen people, the Jews, never took God’s word seriously, and neither did the empire building ‘Christian’ nations. My own ancestors believed that people who acquired wealth by dishonest means were actually storing up trouble for their children, and God would either take away their wealth, or worse give them foolish and wicked children who would squander everything and suffer terrible disgrace. In contrast “the blessing of the LORD makes rich, and he adds no sorrow with it” (Proverbs 10:22 ESV).

            Thankfully there is for grace for all who repent, and so we must pray that God will turn the Western nations and the Jews back to Him.

          • Hi

            I shall have a read.

        • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

          My middle name is Nemesis

          • bluedog

            One has visions of a scene from an HM Bateman cartoon. In a rural setting in Barsetshire profonde, a beautiful young woman, garlanded and dressed in an elongated meringue, stands beside her intended at the altar and in front of a Rowan Atkinson impersonator, ready to exchange vows. ‘Do you, Olivia Nemesis, take N to be your lawful wedded husband?’ Gasps of disapproval from the congregation, looks of horror from the groom and a hissed, ‘You never told me about this before I proposed’.

    • Anton

      As the Admiral commanding the Falklands Task Force explained regarding the sinking of the General Belgrano, what counted was not the direction it was headed (of which much was made, yet which could change in five minutes) but where it was and what its offensive capabilities were.

      • bluedog

        One struggles to understand how this splendidly naval analogy relates to Boris Johnson. Is it because you are suggesting he may launch his torpedo at Mrs May? If so, a very remote possibility indeed.

        • Anton

          The analogy is that one can change one’s loyalty very quickly, but not one’s views which are what matter.

    • Hi

      I actually feel really sorry for Theresa May. She had a ghastly week. It’s like someone’s got a voodoo doll. Anyways she’s been schnapped on from a great height!

  • David

    Another witty and apt missive Mrs Proudie for which I can but thank you.
    “Satan’s fist and Big State are but one and the same; its fingers clasped around the throat of freedom and democracy”
    Yes sadly that seems to be increasingly the case.
    But Mrs Dismay really must go. The poor lady, a vicar’s daughter, is simply not tough enough to deal with bully boys (and girls) of the EU.
    My preference is the Moggster, but as he support Boris, I’d take the pair. Jacob should be able to keep the flaxen haired one in check.

    • dannybhoy

      But Boris is no more than a blond blimp. He might carry more weight than Reece Mogg but Jacob has gravitas..

      • David

        Yes Jacob seems a splendid fellow and he is really my choice but he’s not even in the cabinet is he ?

        • Does he have to be in the cabinet then to be selected to be Conservative leader? Why can’t any elected conservative MP put themselves forward?

          • David

            I don’t see why a cabinet job is a necessary prerequisite for becoming PM. However I note that it is the usual sequence. I’d be happy to set aside such procedures. But I suspect that he will not break ranks and set aside precedent.

      • bluedog

        Mogg defers to Johnson. If Johnson is a blond blimp, what does that say about Mogg’s judgement?

        • dannybhoy

          May be a strategic approach, or perhaps one eccentric acknowledging another?

      • Hi

        Boris is a jolly decedent chap , who’d give Johnny foreigner a thorough thrashing….

        • Len

          Just the man for the job of PM., that is if Farage isn`t available?

        • dannybhoy

          O
          I truly doubt it Hannah. He’s all p*** and wind as the saying goes. I can’t think of one thing he has done that offers even the faintest glimmer of greatness in the making..

      • Chefofsinners

        Boris has gravalax.

        • dannybhoy

          What the heck is gravalax?

          • Chefofsinners

            Ah, typology strikes again. Gravlax, daannybhoy.

          • dannybhoy

            Oh okay, I thought it was something they used in the construction of cycle paths, but I was afraid to show my ingorance..

          • The Snail

            A type of Swedish Salmon???

    • Could Mrs Dismay give such erudite answers as this I wonder?

      Jacob Rees-Mogg destroying Socialism:

      • David

        Mrs Dismay ? No of course not. Jacob gave a wonderful off the cuff explanation reflecting his understanding of human nature supported by his Christian faith. I want him as PM.

  • Chefofsinners

    There is no Beowulf to hand, I fear. Only sheep in Beowulf’s clothing, all weeing themselves when the big bad Merkel bares her teeth. And her Tusk.
    No, there isn’t a Scandinavian hero to save us. Only Thaw, God of global warming, and tiny tiny Shandy Toxic, ruining the Not-so British Bake-Off and leaving us to guess which are the token minority contestants… ah of course, it’s that white British bloke.

    • IanCad

      ” —Thaw, God of global warming,”
      Had to Google that Chef, and it looks as if you’re the first. Absolutely superb!
      Take a bow Sir!

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      Thaw….inspired…you should be writing this column

      • Chefofsinners

        Thawt you might enjoy that one, but madam, there is none like you. I could not hold a candle to your hobnobs.

        • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

          Goodness! One has to admire your wick…

          • Chefofsinners

            I tried to think of a clever reply, but alas, my quick witted wick quitted.

          • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

            Gutted, eh?

          • Chefofsinners

            A tea light full conversation, but that snuff.

  • TropicalAnglican

    I say, this is fun:
    Type a phrase and watch it fall off a wall behind Theresa May:
    https://thebritishdrea.com/

    Thanks to a poster at https://order-order.com/2017/10/07/saturday-seven-up-397/#disqus_thread. Quite a few witty contributions there!

  • SonoView

    My Moggster is currently curled up on the bathroom mat sleeping peacefully. He told me between yawns and scratching himself that he has no interest in becoming PM unless there ate lots of mice in No. 10!

    • Manfarang

      Maybe some rats.

      • Brian

        Plenty of mice in the Cabinet. Not many men.

        • IanCad

          A very catty comment.

        • Chefofsinners

          It’s like a re-make of Bagpuss:

          Borispuss. Baggy, and a bit loose at the seams. But the electorate loved him.
          With the mice on the Hammond organ- “We will mend it, we will Brexit, we will fix it like new, new, new…”
          Michael Gove as Professor Yaffle, the wooden bellend, sorry bookend, who thinks he’s an expert on everything.
          Damian Green as Gabriel the toadie.
          And Maydelaine the rag doll, who sits in the big chair, shifting uneasily as she tells stories.

  • TropicalAnglican

    Interesting to note that the liberal bishops get terribly territorial and not at all supportive of “open borders” when their own turf is at stake:
    https://www.christiantoday.com/article/primates.hit.out.at.conservatives.plot.for.rival.anglican.church/115450.htm

    I was honestly calm when I was drafting the above para, mainly because I had yet to read the entire article. After actually reading it, I can only say I am aghast … this is ghastly:

    The primates called for a ‘season of repentance and renewal’.

    Who is supposed to repent?
    The conservative primates! The ones who are faithful to God’s Word!

    What are they supposed to repent of?
    Unauthorised border crossings, that’s what!

    And it doesn’t get any better. Can you guess the topics discussed? The focus of the Anglican leadership? Would you expect, climate change? Just what does climate change have to do with the CofE? Whoppingly ridiculous!

    I thought the GAFCON primates had said they would not be attending. There is really no point in trying to be reconciliatory with godless liberals.

    • David

      Spot on comment !

    • Ray Sunshine

      Welby told reporters at a press conference: ‘Jesus created the church to be one so that the world might know that he came from God. That is really, really crucial. Failure to do that is a cause of repentance.’

      Some people might choose to read those words as a thinly veiled criticism of Henry VIII, the Reformation in general, and His Grace’s earlier incarnation in particular.

      • Len

        Jesus never created a church, and Henry never started the Reformation.That was fake news.

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      Of course, those bishops opposed to borders would also be opposed to having a territorial diocese, would they not?

    • Chefofsinners

      What does climate change have to do with the CoE? The liberal wing of the CoE is a leading emitter of hot air.

  • not a machine

    I thank Mrs Proudie for her post .
    However your grace perhaps seems to be borrowing from Guido Fawkes with a suggested photo caption from his graces twitter feed… so my offering in way of caption…..
    “Gottle of Greer”

  • IanCad

    Delightful as usual Mrs. P. New ground, you wonder!? Never fear!! The likes of May and Corbyn, Boris and crew will provide enough subject matter for many weeks.

  • Chefofsinners

    The Beeb invites to disapprove of Polish Christians thanking God for deliverance from Islam…
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-41538260
    Impartiality at its finest.

    • Len

      Stuff the Beeb, they can go whistle for my licence fee.

    • David

      The BBC hates Christianity and the west. It is deluded rather the nature of Islam.

      • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

        Oh the BBC is deluded on so many thinks…for example, it thinks Polly Toynbee is a national treasure…and Janet Street-Porter has talent…

        • Chefofsinners

          Was it ever really luded?

    • Ray Sunshine

      On the other hand, the Beeb may conceivably be on the receiving end of an outburst of fury from PC people complaining that commemorating the Battle of Lepanto at all, in whatever shape or form, is incontrovertibly a hate crime motivated by xenophobia and Islamophobia, and that the Beeb is condoning, compounding or conniving at the crime by giving the Polish perpetrators free publicity without pointing out the terrible wrong they are doing, quite independently of present-day political contingencies.

    • Anton

      If they are praying the rosary then they are thanking the wrong person for the right thing.

  • John

    May has presided over a slide in fortune from leading a party with an unassailable lead over a laughing stock opposition to being a lame duck leader of a shambolic minority government. ‘But at least we gave the nation gay marriage’. Give me strength…

    • Len

      Tories, The Party Making The Country Worse for Everyone?

      Corbyn could do a much better job, making the Country worse I mean.

    • Anna

      My sister observed that any leader who comes out in support of SSM soon finds themselves displaced from their positions of authority. Cameron, Merkel, Nicky Morgan, May and sadly Tim Farron. Sadly, only one of them has repented and acknowledged that it is better to ‘trust in God’ than to put their confidence in princes.

      • Royinsouthwest

        Merkel is still in power and even if she were to resign in the next year or two and a new general election were held how much would change?

        In contrast a Labour victory in Britain would result in drastic changes including remaining in the EU either as a full member or a member without a voice, and a recession in the economy probably as bad as the one nine years ago.

        • Anna

          The point is that both Merkel and May were considered to be unshakeable; things changed dramatically after they came out in support of SSM.

          • John

            I thought Merkel voted against it, even though the Bundestag voted in favour overall.

          • James60498 .

            Yes. So did I.

      • Len

        I’m will to bet none have seen the connection.

  • Politically__Incorrect

    No Mrs Proudie, you are not being to hard on Appeaser-Theresa. I said at the time she became PM that if she betrayed the country over Brexit she would be on a trajectory to political oblivion. That she now is. Her conference speech was one of the most insipid and vision-less deliveries I’ve ever listened to. She has not grasped the fact too, that the EU doesn’t want a deal; it wants a showdown. All these things, and her unbelievable election cock-up, lead me to the conclusion she is car-crash PM.

    • Manfarang

      Careful grammar police Linus will pop up. Linus has something of a hard on. Too hard.

  • Father David

    Back to the preaching box Padre and less time spent on the goggle box.

  • dannybhoy

    At last!
    I couldn’t get on this site at all yesterday, and finally this morning I found (sobs) …my way back.
    I kept getting a ‘server error’ message..
    Anyone else, or are ‘they’ only targetting me?

    • Dreadnaught

      Not you dan – i think it was a a site block for some reason.

    • Len

      No ,me too.

      • dannybhoy

        And even now in trying to answer your comment from my mail account it tells me “Warning: your connection may not be secure..” so I go directly to the site.

    • IanCad

      Only got back on again just now. Anyone miss me??

      • dannybhoy

        Who said that?

    • Ray Sunshine

      Even now (11:15 pm GMT, Mon. 9 Oct.) I can’t get into all the pages here. I’ve been trying to get back to yesterday’s post by Brother Ivo on the paedophilia question, where I posted two or three comments, but it seems to be a no-go area.

      • dannybhoy

        I did wonder if that was the reason it went down…. sabotage!!!

  • Chefofsinners

    Very few on this blog are the right generation to remember Bagpuss. I should be talking about the Sphinx.