Mrs Proudie
Uncategorized

“One wishes the PM would get on with it and trigger this pesky Article”

Goodness! Mr. Slope, fresh from an ecumenical gathering in Utrecht, has much to say about dykes. They seem to do a splendid job, keeping the citizenry safe and dry, along with the little Dutch boys and their ever-ready digits. He tells me it is a very well-organised, well-ordered country, similar to England in many ways, yet still sufficiently different to be interesting. One does not approve, however, of their Fabianistical approach to old age, which allows those who feel they have had enough to pop off with the state’s blessing. Thin end of the wedge, though of course there is an argument for ending suffering with dignity (a principle never yet applied to the BBC Charter, but I digress).

Mr. Slope explained he’s witnessed some of the electioneering that has returned Mr. Rutte to power, and how the Dutch have tacked close to the centrist wind. One hopes clothes pegs were distributed with each vote cast, for one fears Mr. Rutte has pulled a fast one. On a lighter note, Mr. Slope says Amsterdam was a delightful city, with bright lights and cheerful hostelries, where clients dress in the most colourful and exotic garb. Well, some of them do. Some of them don’t dress at all, apparently, and that which is displayed in shop windows is not always Gouda. Still, it is good to have our chaplain back in the bosom of Barchester, once I had made him bathe in Dettol.

Mrs. Dismay is the sort of woman who gets to the middle of the road, stops, and can’t make her mind up to go forwards or back to the curb. Consequently, she is in danger of being run over by the Clapham Omnibus. Now that Her Majesty has given assent, one wishes the PM would get on with it and trigger this pesky Article so Britain can escape the clutches of the Beastly Bureaucrats of Berlaymont. The premiership of Lord Wilmington seems more go-getting than hers (who he, you may ask? My point exactly!). Of course, things are made more complicated by that Scottish terrier yapping across the border, demanding this and that, cocking her leg at the Act of Union. Time she was neutered.

Gossip flowed this way and that at Signora Neroni’s salon on Monday evening.

“My dear Mrs. Proudie,” said the Signora with a wave of her fan, “have you not heard? It appears the Archdeacon was shortlisted for the Diocese of Middlemarch but rejected because of his forthright views on certain matters. Has he not told you?”

Indeed he had not. One isn’t surprised that Dr. Grantly fell at the first hurdle, being slightly to the right of Vlad the Impaler on so many matters ecclesiastical. Not for him the surpliced-ranks of the feminist priestesses, or the rainbow covers of the Book of Homolies, for he is of a more traditional, somewhat antediluvian frame of mind and actually talks about God. All things considered, Mr. Slope would have been a better candidate, but he needs to get a few more things under his belt before episcopacy calls.

I wandered over to the chaise longue by the bay window, where Sir Abraham Haphazzard was engaged in an animated discussion with Sir Omicron Pie.

“It’s the Russians, you know. They are at the bottom of it, mark my words,” said Sir Abraham.

“Are you saying they were responsible for the Indian Mutiny?” replied Sir Omicron.

“Absolutely! The whole thing is covered in vodka and caviar smears, all part of the Great Game.”

“What about the Zulu Wars – the Irish Potato Famine – the Tay Bridge Disaster – Cholera?”

“Russians again!” said Sir Abraham.

“And Louis Napoleon’s election as prince-president?”

“Russians, quite definitely!”

Far be it from me to question the learned and distinguished Sir Abraham, but I ventured to disagree.

“Doesn’t it all sound a little fake, Sir Abraham? I mean, the Russians can’t be responsible for every nefarious event that occurs around the world, surely?”

“Madam,” he replied, “it must be true. The Jupiter has spoken! Does the press ever lie?”

Where to go with that one?

I retreated gracefully to where Mr. Slope was loitering by a tallboy. Ever since seeing the Chippendales he has been beside himself. As I approached I noticed he was eyeing up the ottoman.

“Are you an expert in antiques, Mr. Slope?” I asked.

“Hardly an expert, Madam, merely a voyeur of the divine.”

“O beware the ottoman! One never knows what those Musselmen get up to,” I warned him.

“I am rather partial to them as it happens,” said Mr. Slope, making excuses and heading off towards the dumb waiter. I think something got lost, not in translation so much as the spelling.

Well that is all for this week, dear friends. It has been a quiet seven days in Barchester as we hold our breath for the Great Triggering; quiet but busy with diocesan affairs. I am taking the barouche to Greshambury this afternoon, where work commences on the new lawn and herbaceous borders. I have been asked to dig up the first sod, just so long as it’s not Sir Edward Heath. So, as the gospel truth of fake news reaches the elephantine ear of credulity and the gusset of deception finally unravels from the flannel long johns of neo-liberalism, I bid you all a fond adieu. May your Titchmarsh be ever aphid-free and your Flowerdew open to suggestions.

  • 1649again

    You excel yourself once more Mrs Proudie. If only even your extravagant talents could due justice to the insanity of our times!

  • CliveM

    The world is getting ever more scary. Erdobum threatening jihad. The Fat Controller in NK threatening nuclear war. Trumpington doing er nothing, but obsessing over the press.

    Thankfully we have an oasis of calm and civilisation in Barchester.

    What are the house prices like, i think I’ll move.

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      Mr Slope knows of a little cottage…

      • CliveM

        I don’t think I want to know what Mr Slope knows. Best that way.

  • vsscoles

    There was a time when to put one’s finger in the dyke was considered praiseworthy….

  • Mongol Fred

    Beautifully done. A masterpiece with but one tiny, tiny flaw.
    The traitor Heath was cremated.

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      Curses! Ah well, a little slippage here and there is permissible I hope.

      • Mongol Fred

        Of course dear Lady.
        Perhaps he had a premonition that people would not be taken in and, would wish to dance and piss on any grave.

        • Anton

          The Chief Constable of Wiltshire intends to make public this summer the results of his investigation into allegations of child sexual abuse against Edward Heath. He has deplored leaked comments to the media about its contents and he publicly refused to buckle under pressure to abandon his enquiry late last year. I await it with interest.

          • Mongol Fred

            So do I but, I’m not holding my breath.

  • Paul Greenwood

    Rutte’s re-election is only disturbing if you are of the view Change in Europe will come through the ballot-box. Quite why the System should be self-adjusting is unclear, maybe it is NeoClassical Democratics ?

    • Politically__Incorrect

      Agreed. The changes happening across Europe are bigger than party politics, though I have no doubt that politics will eventually reflect those changes. Although Wilders lost in the election, his party increased it’s share of the vote and the number of seats it won. I think there is a lot of cultural inertia in the Netherlands, having spent decades in the grip of “progressive” liberalism. Hopefully, there is enough common sense there to prevent the country becoming another Sweden.

      • David

        I do hope that you are right.

      • Paul Greenwood

        Not certain that Wilders “lost”

        • Politically__Incorrect

          True. He didn’t do as well as the polls predicted but I understand his party was in second place. Apparently the Labour party lost a lot of votes, some of which seem to have gone to the pro-Turkish candidates

    • David

      Good point.
      Occasionally democracy does reflect underlying feelings, like the brexit referendum, but that only happened after decades of travelling in precisely the wrong direction. But overall I’d say that was an exception, and a most belated one at that. So no, I agree, the system does not normally respond and self-adjust.

  • TropicalAnglican

    OT, but Chancellor Angela Merkel is due to meet President Trump today! First Lady Melania Trump knows German, so she has no doubt already warned her hubby to under no circumstances accept a Gift from Frau Merkel.

    A Rat could however be acceptable, in the perhaps unlikely event that it is a good piece…

    • Politically__Incorrect

      Probably best not to mention the war either. Maybe then she won’t mention the wall.

      • Anton

        East Germany built a wall to keep their own people in, whereas Trump wants to build a wall to keep people out of what they’re not entitled to.

        • Paul Greenwood

          bit like Hadrian then, or maybe the Ming Dynasty

          • Anton

            If Sturgeon pushes it too far then Hadrian’s Wall has a great future.

          • Politically__Incorrect

            May could ask Donald Trump to build it for her – that would really please the SNP

          • Absolutely! And Scotland’s gonna pay for it, folks!

  • Father David

    Is not Middlemarch based upon Coventry rather than Sheffield?

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      Yes, but I chose to use a fictional place name not a real one…

  • len

    I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure?. .
    Brexit?.
    As the saying goes’Just do it’. Now.

    • Politically__Incorrect

      “I used to be indecisive but now I’m not so sure?. ”

      I used to be apathetic, but now I couldn’t care less about it

      • IrishNeanderthal

        A very funny Welsh song on this very subject:

        I’m going to get out of my bed (gwely),
        there’s a programme on the telly
        that discusses the problem of apathy.
        Oh that’s the great problem of our time,
        (well that and S4C)
        but like old Ems said many times before me,
        ‘I just can’t be bothered!’

        For the full song there is this video

        with English translation in the running on-screen lyrics.

        • Politically__Incorrect

          Thanks for the link Neanderthal. At first I wasn’t going to bother listening, but changed my mind because I am resident in Wales. Yes, it’s about time someone taught S4C how to make programmes that appeal to more than 2% of the population, but I guess nobody can be bothered.

      • len

        LOL.

  • David

    Thank you indeed, Mrs Proudie for another literary masterpiece supplying us with a quite splendid whistle stop tour of the week’s events.
    I particularly enjoyed your reference to our politicos transparent attempts to pin all the world’s ills onto our WW2 allies, the Russians.
    If only Mrs Dismay had an ounce of your spirit, we’d be out of the EU without further dithering !

  • bluedog

    Masterly, Mrs P. Not just a tour d’horizon but also a tour de force. One does not doubt that in the Foreign Office itself no lesser personage than Lord Palmerston awaits the publication of your weekly portrait in order to keep himself abreast of developments.

    On a different note, one wonders whether Mrs May will order her Walsingham to attend to the poison dwarf north of the border. It’s going to be a very long six years if we have to endure a daily hissy fit from the wee lassie. One somehow doubts she has your inventiveness, Mrs P, and one fears an endless repetition of a very limited vocabulary of insults.

  • He tells me it is a very well-organised, well-ordered country

    Inevitably, not as much as it was. A Muslim who had fled Pakistan and settled in the Netherlands saw for himself the destructive effect of diversity and wrote The Downfall of the Netherlands: Land of the Naive Fools, in which he said: ‘The story of the Dutch is simply the story of a people who lived so long in a neatly arranged society, and developed its kindness so far that it not only forgot what a mess looks like, but never developed the intelligence to keep itself clean’. His concern for his adopted country was rewarded in 1992 by a judge declaring his book racist and ‘written with the sole purpose of inciting hatred’, whereupon bookshops removed it from their shelves.

    Fast forward to 2011 and Dutch intelligence is still in short supply: ‘In Amersfoort yet again a funeral procession was disrupted by youth. Students of the [Islamic] primary school Bilal flipped their middle-finger and were seen cheering as a procession of mourners drove by…At the start of the procession, the lead car is approached by young Moroccans wanting to know if the occupant of the coffin is a Muslim. After hearing the negative answer, they proceed thumping and kicking the funeral limousine, saying “Good, one less dog.”’

    • Anton

      Most of the Dutch who took their country multicultural suffered under the Nazi occupation, which included the dreadful famine of winter 1994-5. Now they face a new problem of antisemites.

      • Manfarang

        Some of them suffered under Japanese occupation in the far east. Many of the Indos went to Holland after WW2 including Wilders’ mother. The Indos (mixed race) were given a rough time during the founding of Indonesia.

      • Paul Greenwood

        Anti-Semite is one who is opposed to Semitic languages I presume ? “Semite” is not a race

        • Manfarang

          Western Aramaic languages perhaps.

        • Anton

          I know exactly what a semite is in biblical terms but I was adopting colloquial usage (all of which you probably knew).

          • Paul Greenwood

            Then use the colloquial terms for jews to be even more specific

        • Pubcrawler

          If you can find a reputable dictionary to support that definition, as opposed the usual one, please share it.

    • Inspector General

      The Dutch! What a stupid crowd, eh, Mr Rottenborough, in turning away what well could have ensured their earthly welfare…

      But we’re no better…
      https://www.gchq.gov.uk/news-article/gchq-minority-report
      “We need all that richness of diversity. Putting that all in one melting pot is what gets the magic really.” GCHQ Director Robert Hannigan.

      Oh God! We are in trouble…we can’t have just anybody employed in that place, of all places. Innocent lives lost to the cause of multiculturalism and diversity whatever. It doesn’t wash. Common sense needed at GCHQ, chaps, and bags of the stuff . It’s back in vogue, you know.

      Fortunately, Hannigan is off. ‘Personal reasons’ not disclosed. One can only hope that if that’s his inane attitude to the safety of the indigenous of the UK, his staff refused to work with him…and that finished him. It is somewhat satisfying to at least think that was the case, but conversely terrifying if it wasn’t.

      • Politically__Incorrect

        “Putting that all in one melting pot is what gets the magic really.”. I wonder what he means by “melting pot”? I presume he means somewhere like Malmo. Lots of things melting there thanks to diversity; mostly cars and buildings. Apparently, the Swedes can’t find a contractor brave enough to build the new police station there. More to the point, they can’t find policeman who would be able to hang around more than five minutes without peeing their pants.

        • bluedog

          Perhaps the real reason the Swedes have re-introduced conscription is not the threat from Russia, but that from the vibrant multi-cultural communities in their cities.

          • Politically__Incorrect

            Indeed. I suspect even the Red Army would think twice about invading a country in the state Sweden is

        • Inspector General

          Of course, one cannot speak for Hannigan. But an Inspector asks this. What limit on ambition was there for a fellow who embraced the (former) god of multiculturalism…

  • The Brexit letter has to be received by the EU by March 31st as from the next day, we have to have the approval of a majority of the EU nations to send it when some new rule comes into operation.
    I’m not normally a conspiracy theorist, but as each day passes I wonder what excuse will be used not to send the letter in time. Send it on March 31st by 2nd class mail (austerity cut back) and maybe it won’t arrive to mid April with the present postal services.

    • ecclesiaman

      Please can you send a link about this? I have not seen this notice elsewhere. I too am suspicious that we are being conned about brexit. The military is already sold out to the EU which will include both the 2 carriers and nuclear capability. Most of our MP’s don’t know and some are keeping quiet!

      • I’m sorry, I don’t keep all the links, it was mentioned some time ago as the reason that March 31st was the last possible day to get out.

        • ecclesiaman

          Thanks.

      • 1649again

        It was a myth travelling the ether. A mis-interpretation of treaty law and therefore a baseless fear.

        • ecclesiaman

          Thanks. I thought it could be untrue as this was the first I heard about it. However there is much fake news about!

    • The best day to serve the divorce papers on the EU would be 25th March which is the 60th anniversary of the signing of the Treaty of Rome.

      • Anton

        Brilliant

      • Maalaistollo

        It is also Lady Day (to please Happy Jack) and was the date on which New Year was celebrated until 1752, and also the date on which slavery was abolished throughout the Empire in 1807.

        • A truly fitting day then. I hope Mrs Dismay has her lady lawyers sweep in to the celebrations documents in hand and serve them up to Mr Schultz & Co with style.

        • Dominic Stockford

          HJ has vanished. There’s no need to ‘feed the beast’.

          (Joke, if you do come back!)

  • Dominic Stockford

    Your missive came just to early, I fear, for you to have heard that another poisonous fellow, a certain Etonian Osborne, has decided that not content with spending 5 days a week dealing with the troubles and tribulations of his constituents, and two days a week propping up some ailing financial institution with his enormous intellect, also feels that he needs to fill his spare time by editing a daily newspaper. None of it for the remuneration of course, he has oodles of dosh already. What it must be to have such ability, and to be able to do so much in the same time as some of us take to eat our tea.

    • Paul Greenwood

      Osborne went to St Paul’s

      • Dominic Stockford

        Edited – to far better effect.

      • Royinsouthwest

        Is he Harriet Harman’s alter-ego?

        • Paul Greenwood

          No. He is a Mummy’s Boy and it shows. She is simply a bourgeois brat related to Lord Longford who was riddled with guilt at her daddy’s Harley Street existence

    • Politically__Incorrect

      Presumably he’ll be doing his constituency surgeries during the night

    • donadrian

      It will make a change for him to give something free to thousands of workers.

  • Manfarang

    So Mr. Slope had no sightings of the Wildersbeest during his foray to the nether regions.

  • len

    ‘Brexit Triggering Day ‘ should become a National Holiday in memory of this historic event.Bit like ‘Bastille day’ because the UK is coming out of the EU prison.

    • bluedog

      Time to rename Pall Mall as ‘Avenue of 23rd June’ and let that be the holiday.

      • 1649again

        Scrap socialist May Day and replace with Freedom Day on 23 June.

        • Anton

          No, just rename May Day for Theresa May once she’s got us out.

      • len

        Sounds good ,or how about ‘Brexit Boulevard?’.

        • bluedog

          Boulevard? Too French. Avenue is questionable, one concedes.

          Street, Road, Way, Drive, Walk, these are the sort of words post-Brexit Britain should embrace. I’m thinking that on the ascension of HRH the Prince of Wales to the throne, may the Lord preserve us, it would be fitting to rename the ridiculously titled ‘Birdcage Walk’.

          Princess Diana Walk springs to mind.

          • donadrian

            “She was only a bird in a gilded cage”?

          • bluedog

            Perfect.

        • IrishNeanderthal

          Britannia needs no Boulevards,
          No spaces wide and gay:
          Her march was through the crooked streets
          Along the narrow way.
          Nor looks she where, New York’s seduction,
          The Broadway leadeth to destruction.

          (Americanisation, by G.K.Chesterton.)

  • David

    I eagerly await Mrs Dithering DisMay signing and despatching “the letter.”
    I also await, with anticipation, the return of our sovereignty, laws, seas, border controls, for the entire globe, and an ending of the tyranny of the so called “Human Rights” laws, which have created inequality. If the government fails us on any of these crucial issues it will be handing Ukip, currently wondering what to do next, with a very effective electoral stick with which to beat it.

    • bluedog

      UKIP remains a huge disappointment now that Farage has effectively left the party.

      • Anton

        Nothing to do with St Nigel. They’ve lost their raison d’etre. Let us simply rejoice at why!

      • David

        The certainly lack good eldership, as does the the Labour and the LibDems.

  • Royinsouthwest

    “Lord, make me trigger Brexit, but not yet.”

  • Dominic Stockford

    We’re fiddling around with worldly matters and the cathedrals still burn.

    .@gavinashenden announces intention to quit @c_of_e and resign his orders. The head will say to the big toe, “Tata.” http://bit.ly/2nvA4Ra

    • Inspector General

      Desperately sad news, Dominic. An honourable man where honourable men fear not so much to tread, but to say.

    • 1649again

      Sad,but I do wish conservatives were a bit tougher and more willing to stick it out rather than run off in a huff.

      • Inspector General

        Absolutely, 1649. What is wrong with them today. A couple of thousand years ago, the early Christians faced having a Roman short sword held at their necks.

        • 1649again

          I thick a consequence of a professional, overly academic clergy IG.

          • Inspector General

            He’s damn well let the side down, sir. If only he had confided his intentions to us, we could have perked him up…

          • 1649again

            We are always perky and up for a scrap indeed IG.

          • Inspector General

            Are you startin’ man!

          • 1649again

            Not with you IG. Brothers-in-Arms!

          • Inspector General

            That’s the indomitable spirit required, that man!

          • He couldn’t scrap his way out of a wet paper bag.

          • Yeah, as someone with *unusual* set of beliefs the Inspector should find a home somewhere in the Church of England.

          • 1649again

            May be wide enough for you although you would have to renounce burning those with whom you don’t agree and handimg over FGM’d girls to their abusers first.

          • Girls abused by FGM are not handed over to their abusers. They’re just not dragged screaming from parents who love and care for them but who are ignorant of the harm of this barbaric cultural practice that predates Judaism. Your own “solution” of castrating the fathers and deporting the entire family, is not one Jack supports.
            As for burning heretics, that was stopped hundred’s of years ago.
            Besides, does one have to renounce or positively believe anything, to join the Church of England?

          • 1649again

            Weasel words as usual.

          • And you, Sir? Your words are without meaning or substance.

          • 1649again

            Hardly. You excuse barbarism in the name of expediency, which is in fact moral cowardice. And now you come on here to sow division and despondency.

          • Jack’s explanation of the responses of social care agencies to FGM are not based on expediency. You want to see them like this because it justifies your own ignorance and hostility. All his views are on the appropriate thread.

            Jack is not sowing division or despondency. If his opinions disturb you, then this says more about you than Jack. Keep your head buried in the sand. Here’s what Gavin Ashenden said:

            “I’m not sure I see much point in a church that just wants to be accepted as a sort of not too irritating chaplain to a secular and hedonistic culture, which is what it seems to be becoming.

            “I want to remain a faithful Anglican, but increasingly it looks like that is only possible outside the C of E.

            “It has opted for a kind of spiritualised socialism and feminism in opposition to the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. You get new life when you repent. But there is no sign that it is ready to take that path.”

          • 1649again

            I know what you’re doing. It’s all you ever do on here.

          • Your Christianity appears to be more political in nature than spiritual. If it were not so, you wouldn’t consider yourself to be a “brother” of the Inspector who denies the Divinity of Christ and who holds we were created by a deity for amusement. You would admonish him rather than support his obnoxious views about women, homosexuals and ethnic minorities.

          • 1649again

            Rubbish. I don’t know what’s in the Inspector’s heart and don’t agree with everything he says, but he is certainly less denominationally bound than you. And as for characterising my faith as political, what a presumption on your part.

          • The Inspector’s opinions are no mystery. And Jack’s views of you are based on your comments here.

          • 1649again

            And as ever your views are wrong and irrelevant.

          • As the Chinese say: “The fish is last to see the water.”

          • Anton

            That settles that then.

          • What is this? Are you operating as a “tag-team”?

          • Anton

            It is called sarcasm. I have not contacted 1649 privately about this subject or thread. If two or more persons disagree with you then you should not be surprised to find spontaneous coordination.

          • Inspector General

            Last sentence. You are truly out of order. Don’t let your rage get the better of you…

          • Jack feels no rage – just holds your views in contempt.

          • Inspector General

            You cheeky blighter. One would say you should quit when you are ahead, but you’re never ahead. Merely irritating our behinds after the fact out of spite…

          • An interesting comment, Inspector. Been visiting PN again? All in the interest of developing a “higher understanding” by wallowing in perversity, of course.

          • Anton

            What evidence have you that FGM pre-dates Judaism?

            In case you meant “Islam”, I couldn’t care what community does it. Not in England they shouldn’t. Not in my country. Inaction of the authorities at this practice makes me ashamed of it.

            Parents who are ignorant of the harm of it? Their mothers know damn well what harm it does.

          • Anton, you really know nothing about this. Go do some serious research.

          • Anton

            Your definition of serious research being research that reaches the same conclusion as you? No thank you. Will you tell Ayaan Hirsi Ali that she knows nothing about it either?

          • Hirsi Ali is a prominent opponent of female genital mutilation (FGM), which she has criticized in many of her writings. When in Dutch parliament, she proposed obligatory annual medical checks for all uncircumcised girls living in the Netherlands who came from countries where FGM is practised. She proposed that if a physician found that a Dutch girl had been mutilated, a report to the police would be required – with protection of the child prevailing over privacy.[100] In 2004 she also criticized male circumcision, particularly as practiced by Jews and Muslims, which she regarded as being another variant of mutilation practiced without the consent of the individual.[101]

            Jack has no issue with any her views on FGM. The agenda is the most effective method of ending it that does not compound the harm on children who have been subject to FGM. Many of her proposals are in place in the UK.

            Do you agree with her opinion on male circumcision too?

          • Anton

            Changing the subject when the going gets rough, as ever.

          • Not at all. Jack addressed your point. Care to address his? You cited the woman as an authority on this subject.

          • Anton

            Because she has suffered it and is eloquent. Do you consider you need a PhD in FGM order to dispute it with you?

          • bluedog

            HJ is an expert. This means he knows more than you and his judgement is not to be questioned. Hoping you understand your place in the order of things.

          • Anton

            I await being asked what is the Authority for my views…

          • Your entitled to your ill-informed views. Presumably you would consult your milkman for advice on treating any health concerns you might have.

          • Anton

            I wouldn’t consult you on how to stamp out FGM. I suggest you add Dhimmi Jack to your list of alter egos.

          • No objections to having Jack’s judgement questioned at all. Indeed, he answered all the questions on the subject on the relevant thread. Jack recognises prejudice wrapped in outrage and Christian opinion. He doesn’t claim to be an expert but has studied FGM and met with women who have suffered this abuse and also with women’s groups from the communities where FGM is practiced. Jack does claim expert knowledge and experience in child care law and practice. Plus, he understands the harm of reckless decision making that removes children from their families. And you?

          • bluedog

            ‘Jack recognises prejudice wrapped in outrage and Christian opinion.’

            Translation: You’re a racist bigot. Stop using FGM as a weapon to beat me up while pretending you are outraged by the practice and that it offends your ‘Christian’ sensibilities.

            See how well I know you?

            Back in the real world, I’m the father of daughters and simply horrified that anyone could butcher their girls this way. But personalising the issue detracts from the objectivity needed in making an expert judgement and doesn’t count, does it?

          • chiaramonti

            I like that expression – “prejudice wrapped in outrage”. Is that an original Jack? It could apply these days in many areas!

          • Why thank you, Chiaramonti. So far as one knows it is an expression coined by Jack.

          • Rhoda

            The prosecution of parents who have smacked a child as a form of discipline has occurred ; shouldn’t police and social workers have considered the harm this would cause to the families? (Some have even been taken into custody.) Surely an occasional smack isn’t a worse form of abuse than FGM?

          • Some background reading:

            Herodotus wrote about FGM being practiced in Egypt as early as 500 BC [3], while the Greek geographer Strabo who visited Egypt in about 25 BC reported that one of the Egyptian customs was “to circumcise the males and excise the females” [10]. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, FGM is actually practiced by Muslim, Christian and Jewish groups. There are countries, such as Nigeria, Tanzania and Niger, where the prevalence of FGM is even greater among Christian groups [11]. In Egypt, FGM is also practiced on Coptic girls [12], while in Ethiopia, the Beta Israel or Falashas, a Jewish minority, subject their girls to genital mutilation [5].

            http://www.ajol.info/index.php/aju/article/download/95964/85313

          • Anton

            Pre-dates Judaism, eh? What year was the Exodus?

          • 1649again

            He seems to know right from wrong though while you are clearly lost in expediency.

          • Indeed …. and Jack is the one accused of being disruptive and evil. What a joke you are.

          • 1649again

            It’s called humour. Try it some,time.

          • When did you leave the Roman Catholic Church for the Church of England, Inspector?

          • Inspector General

            One’s higher understanding of what is has no room for sectarianism, Jack. On being given the gift of higher understanding, the Inspector did look for it, but it’s not there…

          • And the Truth, Inspector? Did your “higher understanding” grant you sight of this?

          • Inspector General

            Yes. The truth is that we are astonishingly insignificant creatures in an immense universe originally designed to be binned on death. And when you look at the world as it is, you can understand why that is, even today. But the Almighty has for a reason not known to us, arranged to salvage a few of us. Christians, they are called.

          • What is a Christian, Inspector?

          • 1649again

            Do an Alpha Course if you really want to know. It may surprise you.

          • Jack didn’t ask you.

          • Actually, one might well ask you the same question.

          • Inspector General

            Let’s see. It’s not someone who comes onto an obvious Protestant blog site and does his best to disrupt proceedings, is it ?

          • Jack is asking a question that all Christians, regardless of denomination, should be able to answer. It’s not him who is being “disruptive”.

          • David Day

            A Christian is one who believes that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, accepts Him as his personal saviour, and follows His teachings in his daily life.

          • 1649again

            Oh, I’ve been told it’s someone who can paste up long passages from the Magisterium…

            Goodnight!

          • Really? Who told you this? Or did you read it somewhere?

          • Or, alternatively, the Holy Spirit is guiding him to leave an increasingly heretical church. The question now: will it be the Eastern Orthodox Church, the Roman Catholic Church or will GAFCON break free?

            Chexit may catch on.

      • Anton

        Just as I, who left, do not condemn – and in fact support – those who stay, please do not condemn those who choose to leave. I believe that neither you nor I have been hearing wrongly from God; this is not a situation of “come out from her, [all] my people” at this time.

        I can explain why I made that decision, and it was not huff, but the point of this present post is solidarity.

        • 1649again

          Understood but you never win anything by running away.

          • Anton

            It wasn’t fear either. But the point of this post too is solidarity.

          • bluedog

            Exactly. It’s remarkable the benefits that accrue to the last one standing.

          • 1649again

            As Christians we are called to bear witness, to endure and not to flee. That ensured the spread of the early Church and still fuels its growth today. In truth our paid clergy have had it too cosy too long and are fleeing the kitchen as the heat rises.

          • Jon of GSG

            Surely though one gains some of the strength to endure through being part of a God-loving and God-fearing church? If the church is the problem then I’d think he might indeed do better at enduring if he’s a member of another church.

          • Dominic Stockford

            And we are under Biblical orders to ‘come out from amongst them’, that is, from amongst the ungodly. As no denomination has a mandate to exist from God or the Bible when denominations end up like the CofE now has (and as the RCC did many years ago) it is right to come out, right now (as it was right for Luther, Cranmer, Hus et al to do so in the past).

          • 1649again

            That’s a recipe for always surrendering what is good to the evil intentioned infiltrators.

          • Jon of GSG

            But the alternative is surely to stick with anything, how ever bad it gets? By that reasoning, no reformation – or perhaps I’m misunderstanding you.
            I suppose the basic question in this case is whether you think it might be beyond redemption (the C of E, I mean). I used to know a youth worker who used to talk about the dangers of being a “coal out of the fire” – I don’t know if you’ve come across that analogy – but if there’s any chance that, say, he feels as if his faith is weakening in his current position, then I’d think he’s done the right thing. I’d put a higher price on the salvation of one person than on the survival of a whole denomination (as a structure, I mean, distinct from its members).

          • 1649again

            It’s not beyond redemption if the sound people don’t all run away and stay and fight back. The evangelical wing is growing.

          • Jon of GSG

            I agree, actually – let’s hope you’re right. I can’t blame anyone for taking the opposite point of view at the moment though.

          • Jon of GSG

            I suppose though if your hope is for the abolition of your denomination then the way to work towards a “win” may exactly be running away. (Not that that is his hope necessarily, but presumably he’s given up hope of the C of E reforming, so it would make sense.)

    • bluedog

      A terrible mistake, one feels.

    • Holger

      Splitter!

    • The C of E has well and truly lost its way.

  • Inspector General

    Good day to you, Mrs Proudie.

    Your country needs you !

    It’s not often that the Inspector converses with an old Scottish colleague, Sockeye-The-Noo as he is no longer on site. But communication has been achieved this week by miracle of email. He was born in Dundee around 50 years ago, and doesn’t get a say in the Scottish referenda. Not the last one, the next one or the one after that. But he’s just as Scottish as Eva Broon or any other of the National Socialists that presently have that magnificent country by the short and curlies. He deserves a say in the future of Der Fadderland as it is now. Sure you’ll sympathise.

    As you yourself have only had the vote for a short time, perhaps you would be most agreeable to fight on behalf of the tens of thousands similar. Using your impressive column of course.

    The Inspector, and indeed Her Majesty, both thank you in anticipation. (And we’ll see about a gong for you, on the quiet).

  • len

    Perhaps we should scrap’ Guy Fawkes’ night and replace it with’ Brexit night’ when an effigy of the traitor Heath could be placed on the fire and a general celebration could take place, fireworks and all?.
    Not sure this would go down well with the SNP but sure they will come round when the EU collapses any time soon and re-joining will no longer be an issue with them?.

    • bluedog

      Now you’re talking, an excellent suggestion. One reads elsewhere in the thread that Heath was indeed cremated in the first instance.

  • chefofsinners

    Neuter the wee Scottie terrier, Mrs Proudie? I think you will find that the sporran is empty. When dealing with a bitch, we must call a spayed a spayed.

    And I would not hold your breath for the great triggeration. I understand that Mrs May has not pulled for some years… nor has her barrel been rifled.

    However, Mr Slope will be interested to know that Ted Heath once went to Holland and bought a pair of inflatable shoes. Shortly before he popped his clogs.

  • michaelkx

    Dear Lady I quote you missive, “Dr. Grantly fell at the first hurdle, being slightly to the right of Vlad the Impaler on so many matters ecclesiastical. Not for him the surpliced-ranks of the feminist priestesses, or the rainbow covers of the Book of Homolies, for he is of a more traditional, somewhat antediluvian frame of mind and actually talks about God.” In my eyes he should be archbishop of Canterbury.

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      I quite agree…