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General Synod? “Henceforth I shall refer to this gathering of Libertudinarians as ‘Sin-odd’”

Goodness! One of the latest fads sweeping Barset, if not the country as a whole, is Spiritualism. I believe Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is a devotee, and in our own cathedral city Mrs. Mahatma Pentangle does a roaring trade at her esoteric boudoir on Fingerfull Passage every second Tuesday in the month, though of course my Lord the Bishop and I thoroughly disapprove. I understand new-fangled devices are available which receive messages from the ether to the amazement, delight or consternation of those receiving. One such ethereal communication – from the White House no less – has sent the Bolshevik press, bien pensants, Citizen Khan, Church of England and Prime Minister into a frenzy, for it seems the President has pointed out some of the dire atrocities committed across the globe by fanatical Muslims. ‘Racist!’ scream the forever offended, accompanied by a ticking off from the nation’s Head Girl and a demand for an apology from the clerics. How wonderful, then, to learn that a second message was forthcoming from an undeterred Mr. Trumplestiltskin, viz. “Never mind about me, focus on the damage radical Islam is doing to your nation…” It is like the writing on the wall at Balshazzar’s Feast; a warning that our politicians seem determined to ignore. It also sends a second message – the President cares more about this country than those howling in anguish at his words.

But along comes Friday morning and news that the president has not taken kindly to his wigging, thus cancelling his visit to Great Britain. One wonders what Mrs. Dismay’s game really is! There are some, like the Archdeacon, who believe she is deliberately goading the President so that a trade deal with the United States becomes impossible, and therefore she will argue we must have a much closer relationship with the Zollverein to ensure economic stability. She will then blame Trumpelstiltskin for the whole affair. One also wonders if the Prime Minister was ever a member of the Rosa Kleb Collective in her youth, like her good friend Frau Merkin – both daughters of the vicarage, both supposed Conservatives, both EUnatics, both snoopers… I rest my case.

When King Richard the Lionheart was imprisoned by a dastardly Austrian, England was called upon to provide a ransom to secure his release. This precedent was clearly in the mind of Mrs. Dismay when she caved in to Junckerdom and agreed to £50 billion or so leaving these shores to ‘get things moving’. She wasn’t so hasty when it came to invoking Article 50, one notes. The Archdeacon is not impressed. I met him on my way back from the Philosophical Society’s annual ‘Pin a conscience on Mr. Blair’ charity event, which, though well attended, always fails to hit the mark.

“Hellfire and damnation! That long-legged leather-panted lip-serving dissemblerette has done exactly what I said she would. Someone should tell her that it is our money, not hers. She makes John Major look like Genghis Khan, David Cameron look like Einstein and Sir Robert Walpole like Mr. Dynamic.”

“I quite agree, Archdeacon, but placed against the rest of the lesbians, bon vivants and Bo-Jo bombastics in the government, she seems a cut above.”

“That’s because she appointed that motley crew in order to make herself look good,” sniffed the Archdeacon, “And as for being a cut above, she’s an irredeemable basket-case who undoubtedly deserves her ‘Marie Antoinette Moment’.”

The Archdeacon can be harsh at times, but this wasn’t one of them.

At a meeting of the Dr. Wortle’s School Managers on Tuesday evening we discussed the implications of Estelle Morris’s proposal to have government inspection of home-schoolers made mandatory. In my humble opinion, this is another blow against the family, who should have every right to decide what and how their children should be taught. It is, in fact, a Snoop and Swoop Charter: snooping into people’s private lives and then swooping down on them when it’s discovered gender equality is not given the prominence government demands. One foresees children being taken away to be re-educated by the state – horrid, horrid thing indeed!

“If parents do not wish to send their children to us,” said Mrs. Arachne Ganderbody (postmistress and chairwoman of the local ‘Ladies for Capital Punishment Society’), “I don’t see why we should be in the slightest concerned.”

“Because it is the thin end of the wedge,” I replied, putting the old besom straight.

“Hah,” snorted Mr. Arquebus Trelawney (the local apothecary, taxidermist and swan-upper), “Surely we passed that part of the wedge long ago. I know I have passed a good many things in my time.”

One has to hold one’s tongue, and one’s nose, at this sort of thing.

But I confess he had a point. What with Morris’s snooper-troupers and Ms. Greening’s ‘Shower-time is fun time just don’t drop the soap’ approach to the curriculum there is something seriously wrong with education. Thank goodness the 39 Articles form the lynch-pin of our own establishment.

Despite all my efforts, Mr. Slope managed to get himself elected to the House of Clergy in time for this coming Synod. He has tabled a motion in favour of discussing same-sex relationships (along with the world and his husband and his husband and his dachshund), something we used to term ‘Sausage Snorkelling’ before the new Puritanism changed the language. I too can change the language, and henceforth I shall refer to this gathering of Libertudinarians as ‘Sin-odd’.

At least the Archbishop of York will be wearing his collar again, a protest nobody paid the slightest attention to but showed due reverence to St. Virtue of the Signals, patron saint of 21st-century England. After all, wasn’t St. George from Syria or some such place, and therefore an illegal?

Goodness! Now I am late for the Mother’s Union Craft Evening. We are learning how to ‘Baste an antelope in Madeira for Advent’, as demonstrated by Lady Effingham-Blinding; and how to weave provocative Nativity figures from Peruvian guano, guided by Mrs. Cleopatra Shovel. It promises to be an instructive and enjoyable event, especially as Signora Neroni is otherwise engaged judging the ‘Britain’s Got Legs’ dance competition at the Town Hall.

So, as the rickety tumbril of destiny carries the night-soil of manifesto promises to the lime-pit of disappointments, and the Argonaut of Decency is crushed between the Scylla and Charybdis of LGBGTQWERTY and Antifa, I bid you all a very fond adieu until next week. Always remember the Barchester motto – ‘Together in Adversity’. I thank you all.

  • Father David

    Mercifully, dear lady, when your dear husband, the bishop, sat upon the cathedra of Barchester, there was no such thing as the General Synod and we had none of that nonsense such as that epithet of twaddle “Episcopally led and Synodically governed”. If only we had more bishops’ wives like your good self today – then we would know for certain exactly who led and governed the Established Church.
    By the by, I always thought that St. George came from Cappadocia in Asia Minor?

    • Manfarang

      I did meet Miss Sin a number of years ago

      • dannybhoy

        I bet you did…

        • Manfarang

          Don’t you remember Cardinal Sin- Jaime Lachica Sin?
          (same surname)

          • dannybhoy

            I plead short term memory loss..

    • Ray Sunshine

      By the by, I always thought that St. George came from Cappadocia in Asia Minor?

      What Mrs Proudie wrote was, After all, wasn’t St. George from Syria or some such place, and therefore an illegal? I think the expression “or some such place” can reasonably be taken to include Cappadocia, particularly if we recall that Pope Paul VI, I think it was, ordered St George to be struck off the register on the grounds that there was insufficient evidence to show that there really had been such a George in the first place.

      • Father David

        So, my little ray of sunshine – why be such a gloomy dark cloud as there is congruence, compatibility, consistency and conformity between what Mrs. P and I wrote?

  • Christina Summers

    Bravo!

  • bluedog

    Sublime, Mrs P.

    Tucked away in this week’s briefing by the excellent Debkafile, one notes the following report, ‘A video released on November 17 by the Al-Qaeda media outlet Telegram called for the assassination of Barron Trump, posting the name of his school with a Google map pinpointing its location.’ Barron Trump is of course The Donald’s son with Melania. Now, it occurs to this writer that if one’s child is threatened with assassination by some crazed Islamo-fascists one might be moved to alert ones followers. While The Donald’s exchange of electronic billets-doux with Mrs May could seem somewhat gauche, it is probably motivated by feelings of terrified vulnerability and parental guilt. Is the British Government missing the point?

    • Maalaistollo

      Had not previously heard of Debkafile, but have now looked at it and see that they are reporting that ‘Beijing is deploying to Syria thousands of members of two elite People Liberation Army units to combat extremist Islamic Uighurs fighting in the northern Syrian province of Idlib.’ If true (and one trusts few of the messages conveyed by means of the galvanic fluid, save of course for those issued by the esteemed Mrs Proudie) does this suggest Revelation ch 16 vv 12-16 to anyone other than me?

      • Manfarang

        Israeli intelligence officials do not consider even 10 percent of the site’s content to be reliable. A military source in Damascus stated that the Syrian Army has not received any information about the alleged deployment of Chinese troops to Syria.

        • Maalaistollo

          Thanks. Bit like the Independent, then.

          • Manfarang

            Yes. What was once a good newspaper.

      • Ray Sunshine

        Other sources, in addition to Debka File, have been reporting a Chinese plan to deploy troops in Syria, whether or not they have actually arrived there. Politically, it makes sense. Just as Turkey’s main interest in Syria is to prevent the Kurds from gaining so much territory that they would constitute a threat to Turkish rule over its own Kurdish population in the east of the country, so too China has an interest in preventing the Muslim population of its western provinces from gaining too much political strength, to the point where they might be seen as a challenge to central government rule.

        • Manfarang

          Today Xinjiang is in a state of virtual lockdown after the introduction of a sweeping new security regime that has affected virtually every aspect of daily life.

          • Ray Sunshine

            Is Xinjiang the new Tibet?

          • Manfarang

            The Han Chinese are in a majority there now.

          • Ray Sunshine

            As a matter of interest, Manfarang, seen from Bangkok,* what is your take on the Rohingyas, Bangladesh, and the Pope?

            *That is where you live, isn’t it? Apologies if I’ve got it wrong.

          • Manfarang

            The Rohingyas’ plight is a very sad one.
            Bangladesh is a very over populated country.
            The Catholic Church is a small one in Burma and Bangladesh.
            (It is small in Thailand too)

          • Royinsouthwest

            Does the United Nations Committee on Decolonisation (or whatever it calls itself) have anything to say about that?

          • Manfarang

            Not that I am aware of. Xinjiang is part of China.

          • Royinsouthwest

            The Jews have a far stronger claim to Jerusalem than the Chinese to Xinjiang. I have been to the China proper twice and I have also been to Xinjiang which does not look anything like China. The Uyghurs look far more like other central Asian peoples than like the Han Chinese. I asked about the UN Committee on Decolonisation just to point out what a hypocritical organisation the UN is.

          • Manfarang

            The Western Regions have been historically significant since at least the 3rd century BC because of their strategic location astride the Silk Road.
            Parts of southern China are ethnically diverse.

  • Chris Bell

    How did your Mr Slope miss the latest worthy injunction from Bi-shop Right-on-not-so-reverend Kelvin Holdsworthless that our bonnie Prince of 4 be gay when 24???

    • dannybhoy

      A plot hatched in a camp -sorry, ‘damp’ sporran..

      • Chris Bell

        No, ‘camp’ it is….you were right. But will the ‘damp’ sporran be despatched? I think not.

        • dannybhoy

          Me neither, but Heavens, let us make the sound of our disapproval echo through the Anglican community!
          Gotta go
          Rugby starts in an hour and like a loyal Englishman I’m looking forward to Wales trouncing South Africa…
          Come on you Welsh!

  • dannybhoy

    ‘Excellent piece Mrs. Proudie’, said Danny as he chomped noisily on a hobnob (one of two dozen sent him in a festive food bank package).
    And once again thank you for all your hard work in regularly composing these Saturday morning Barchester missives for our delight and edification..

  • David

    Another delight from you dear lady. Your skilful labours in penning these weekly news summaries is most appreciated.

  • len

    Sin nod? (yes, thats sin’s acceptable to us)

  • dannybhoy

    “One wonders what Mrs. Dismay’s game really is! There are some, like the Archdeacon, who believe she is deliberately goading the President so that a trade deal with the United States becomes impossible, and therefore she will argue we must have a much closer relationship with the Zollverein to ensure economic stability. She will then blame Trumpelstiltskin for the whole affair. One also wonders if the Prime Minister was ever a member of the Rosa Kleb Collective in her youth, like her good friend Frau Merkin – both daughters of the vicarage, both supposed Conservatives, both EUnatics, both snoopers… I rest my case.”
    Perhaps more than a grain of truth in this, or an EU-ian plot, or even a left wing trotskyist strategy..
    Or Common Purpose…

  • dannybhoy

    ““I quite agree, Archdeacon, but placed against the rest of the lesbians, bon vivants and Bo-Jo bombastics in the government, she seems a cut above.”
    Catty perhaps, but how is it that whatever she wears, our Theresa manages to look uncomfortably dressed?

  • dannybhoy

    “So, as the rickety tumbril of destiny carries the night-soil of manifesto promises to the lime-pit of disappointments, and the Argonaut of Decency is crushed between the Scylla and Charybdis of LGBGTQWERTY and Antifa, I bid you all a very fond adieu until next week. Always remember the Barchester motto – ‘Together in Adversity’. I thank you all.”
    Lovely!

  • a warning that our politicians seem determined to ignore

    I rather fear it is a warning that our politicians are determined to suppress, by fair means or foul. The native British have thus far been gratifyingly acquiescent as their homeland becomes indistinguishable from the Third World but the Establishment knows that their torpidity cannot be taken for granted. Especially worrying is that Christian message of tolerance and general niceness, which plays such a vital role in deadening the natives’ survival instinct, is increasingly falling on deaf ears.

    • Manfarang

      … as their homeland becomes indistinguishable from the United States.

      • @ Manfarang—Enjoy a 3½-minute scenic tour of Detroit.

        • Manfarang

          I had a 2 hour tour of Niagara Falls (the American side)

          • Royinsouthwest

            I prefer the Canadian side.

          • Anton

            2/3 of the water goes through the hydroelectric plant; imagine it before that!

          • Manfarang

            The American Falls were shut off once and maybe again soon to replace two bridges.

          • Manfarang

            Yes it is much nicer.

    • dannybhoy

      Oh yes, at the last Danny will want to defend what remains of his homeland and culture..

      • Manfarang

        or maybe enjoy a retirement in a warm and sunny clime.

        • dannybhoy

          My conscience would not allow it.

          • Manfarang

            or finances?

          • dannybhoy

            And I hope they received suitable recognition and help afterwards.
            You know of course that many British men had a tough time after the war – especially the First World War..

          • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

            Splendid.

  • TropicalAnglican

    Wow, the Americans have a National Christmas Tree Lighting and Pageant of Peace Ceremony!
    Archbishop Justin Welby and PM May must have been glued to their TV screens … oh, er, they weren’t? … well, anyway, the link is here:

    http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2017/12/01/in-christmas-tree-lighting-president-trump-recalls-the-birth-of-our-lord-and-savior-jesus-christ/

    Quote from Breitbart:
    ““Melania and I are full of joy at the start of this very blessed season, Trump said, “the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.””

    Quote from Trump’s tweet:
    “The Christmas Story begins 2,000 years ago with a mother, a father, their baby son and the most extraordinary gift of all—the gift of God’s love for all of humanity.
    Whatever our beliefs, we know that the birth of Jesus Christ and the story of his life…” [“forever changed the course of human history” — I think he ran out of characters].

    Now, surely both the Archbishop of Canterbury and PM May would rejoice at this tweet!

    • Manfarang

      Whatever our beliefs, we know that the birth of Jesus Christ and the story of his life and how Santa comes at Christmas I got a great tax break as a Christmas present this year. God Bless America you suckers

      • dannybhoy

        Cynical beyond words.
        Whatever Donald Trump’s many failings I think he has the makings of a great president.
        His frustration is that the machinery doesn’t move fast enough for him;
        His handicap is that he’s used to being kow-towed to, he’s thin skinned, he lacks diplomacy and he has a beautiful trophy wife who’s uncomfortable as the First Lady, but obviously loves her family and is making a real effort.
        Lots of problems there, but Donald acknowledges Jesus Christ and Christmas, he has prayer meetings in the White House -and he knows who the real enemies are.
        Cut the guy some slack, pray for him and may God have mercy on America and bring her back to Himself!

        • Manfarang

          The view of my American colleagues is that he will never shape up as President.
          Get ready for President Paul Ryan.

          • carl jacobs

            Frankly, I was kind of hoping he would be impeached by now. This Presidency is sort of like riding in a semi driven by a 14 year-old who can barely see above the steering wheel and can’t reach the pedals. At very high speeds. And in traffic.

          • John

            All true – easily the most lamentable, cringeworthy, amateur and embarrassing presidency in US history – but still preferable to a Hillary Clinton White House.

          • carl jacobs

            Which is why I had to vote for him. Better the Fool than the Necromancer of Mordor.

          • The best America had to offer.

          • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

            And hear in Blighty we faced a similar dilemma, Tereason Dismay or Comrade Corbynov, two cheeks of the same arse….

          • IanCad

            You must be most remarkably old to have confidence in such a statement.

          • dannybhoy

            We get the picture.
            -Sheesh!

          • Royinsouthwest

            What proportion of Americans who work abroad can be regarded as typical Americans? Are they any more representative of the American people than the average Guardian reader is of the British people, I wonder?

          • Manfarang

            I also have relatives that live in America.

          • IanCad

            Unless President Trump is found guilty of high crimes and misdemeanors, he is likely to serve for another seven years.

        • carl jacobs

          I think he has the makings of a great president.

          Ummm … no. Manfarang summed it up nicely. Trump is a cynical buffoon. I cringe whenever he speaks about religion.

          • dannybhoy

            You cringe when any of us speak about religion on this blog…..

          • carl jacobs

            You say that, but it’s not really true. I’m the picture of reasonableness and tolerance. [Shaddap Jack! Your opinion doesn’t count.] In fact I’m the victim. Didn’t Chef just call me a “hate crime”?

          • dannybhoy

            He did that because you need putting down from time to time to keep you in your place.
            Remember you’re tolerated here only because we know you have very few friends in America, and we Brits are a compassionate lot..

  • Dreadnaught

    the implications of Estelle Morris’s proposal to have government inspection of home-schoolers made mandatory. … every right to decide what and how their children should be taught

    Ah my dear Old Trout, you are such a trusting soul: if only anyone could be assured that jihadism for juniors would not be part of the curriculum or that girls were not being schooled in subservience to the male; not to mention the ease of inflicting a clitoridectomy during the lunch break, I’d be inclined to agree with you.

  • dannybhoy

    Wales 24 South Africa 22!
    Wales made really heavy weather of the second half after a brilliant start to the match. I’m pleased they won, but they very nearly didn’t…

  • not a machine

    Pin the conscience on The Blair charity event LOL and LOL again Mrs Proudie thank you for that.

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      Too kind dear heart, too kind.

  • Chefofsinners

    Splendid once more, Mrs Proudie! I wonder if a bumper annual of all your musings might be available? I’m sure it would put a bulge in many a stocking this festivetide.

    I am promoting a new novella by Charles Dickins. ‘A Christmas Anal’ tells how Jacob Rees-Marley visits the bitter old Corbyneezer Scrooge. Tiny Tim Farron’s political life hangs by a thread. His chirpy cries of “God bless us, every one!” are answered only with a contemptuous “bah bum hug” from Corbyneezer and his cronies. Can Christianity Future be saved?

    Also available this Christmas: the Damian Green reverse advent calendar. All the doors have knockers on the inside, and every day another one closes.

    Now I must away, to prepare my talk for our church’s ‘Community Carol Service’. This is like community service, only with carols…

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      You must send me a draft of the new Dickins novella. In return I shall send you one of Mr. Hardie’s Essex Tales, where Miss Bathtime Everclean, is wooed by the horny-handed drug-crazed Gabriel Coke and the wealthy gentleman farmer Mr. Verybold. Miss Everclean however is enamoured of Sergeant Toyboy, a dashing moustachioed dragoon, but it all ends badly.

      • dannybhoy

        They always do Mrs Proudie, they always do.

      • Chefofsinners

        Far From the Madding Proud?

        • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

          Oh you are good…

  • Chefofsinners

    Are we going to be treated to the hundred top Christians thingy this year? Or maybe just a top ten as austerity bites, due to Brexit, obvs. Let me see…
    Tim Farron 5/2
    Gavin Ashenden 4/1
    Rees-Mogg Evens fav.

    Place yer bets. Yes you – Mr Junker – is that 50 billion Euros in your pocket? Perhaps you are a sporting man?

    • No, it was such a vast amount of work (which nobody really appreciated), and completely ruined the past three Christmases with all the sifting, searching, checking, typing and formatting.

      • Chefofsinners

        Well at least I remembered it. That shows some sort of appreciation. The Lord knows your labour of love. It could all be done very easily:

        • Chefofsinners

          click here for Tim Farron

          • Chefofsinners

            click here for Gavin Ashenden

          • Chefofsinners

            click here for Jacob Rees-Mogg

          • Chefofsinners

            Or suggest a.n.other

          • dannybhoy

            A.n.other.

          • Jorge Mario Bergoglio – “The Dictator Pope”.

          • Bernard from Bucks

            Mr Asher the cake maker and his faithful wife.

        • Bless you. There was also the annual onerous task of responding to a hundred angst-ridden emails and tweets from (mainly) left-wing Christians irritated that certain other left-wing Christians hadn’t been included in the list, even though these people never bothered to make nominations. It was all more trouble than it was worth.

          • Chefofsinners

            It’s what Christmas is all about. Have just made donation, out of sympathy. Please spend on a half decent bottle of Port or similar.

          • That’s very kind of you, bless you. Please forgive the lack of an email response, but it’s all playing up and there’s no longer any IT support.

          • Inspector General

            Half a bottle of Port! The Essential Cranmer is worth half a bottle of Port!

            By the way Eminence. Do let your Inspector know when his subs expire. One has omitted to keep details thereof.

          • Chefofsinners

            No. A bottle of Port which is half-decent.
            Your subs expired in 1698.

          • Peasant Farmer

            I think it would be Rees-Mogg followed by Rev Ashenden, Farron having made up a lot of ground in the last fortnight but ultimately ran out of time.

          • dannybhoy

            Other way around, or Jacob for politics and Gavin for Christianity

      • dannybhoy

        Good.
        It proved nothing and made HJ even more irritable.
        You tried, it didn’t work, move on..
        Which reminds me, you should be due another offering soon..

        • How dare you! It didn’t make Happy Jack irritable – at all. In fact, he quite enjoyed it.

          This year Jack had his money on Jorge Mario Bergoglio (affectionately known as “The Dictator Pope”) given his ecumenical protestantism and determination to offer mercy to all, whatever their sins or beliefs.

          • dannybhoy

            Oh,
            I’m sorry. It must have been something else you were being irritable about..
            Carl perhaps.
            Linus
            Dominic
            Prods in general?

            ps Have you had any snow up there Jack? Must be beautiful in the snow..

          • Anton and/or Dominic … probably.
            [No snow yet]

          • dannybhoy

            You are near Dundrennan I seem to remember. Haven’t been up there for years.. I remember how incredibly still and quiet it was.
            (Probably before you came to live there..)

          • Galloway is a beautiful part of the country. Lots of lovely places.

          • CliveM

            As I said to DB, Martin.
            Hope you’re fully recovered soon.

          • He’s harmless and doesn’t really do discussion – just reposts the same comments like a stuck record.

          • IrishNeanderthal

            @dannybhoy:disqus @disqus_oYzTyXaAYB:disqus A suitable song:

            Harry Lauder – It’s Nice to Get Up in the Morning – YouTube

          • dannybhoy

            Goodness, just how old are you?
            I remember my dear Dad talking about him..

          • dannybhoy

            My father, a Geordie of renown, was for some strange reason keen on the Scots, and often told us kids stories about inter clan warfare, about the bravery of the Scots regiments over the years.
            I couldn’t really understand it, but I know on my mother’s side there were Scots connections (which we try not to talk about).
            Makes me feel quite misty eyed thinking about it..

          • CliveM

            Martin

          • dannybhoy

            Martin?
            Martin who?
            Bob Martin?
            Doc Martin?
            The Martin played by Matt Damon?
            What are you on about, Cryptic Clive?

          • CliveM

            Our Martin, the Uber Calvinist Martin. He was always very tutty about it.

          • dannybhoy

            Oh, that Martin!
            The one I had long doctrinal discussions with that came to nowt..
            You mean we won’t be nominating Jack and Martin as “Best Blogger Buddies”?

    • dannybhoy

      Hokay, I’v changed my mind because the Chef said it could be done simply, and simple’s good. Plus it needn’t cause HG more work.
      So perhaps just between us on the blog I’d like to nominate Gavin Ashenden for showing integrity, courage, humility, humour and setting us all a good example
      Question:
      Should we have categories for regular bloggers too?
      Most improved,
      Most annoying,
      Most witty,
      Most pedantic?
      Best female blogger?

      • Chefofsinners

        Only if we can have ‘Best periwig’.
        And most vitriolic French homosexual ex-blogger.

        • dannybhoy

          Best periwig?
          Have we anyone who might qualify for that category I wonder….
          A man of wisdom and maturity, with the occasional sparkle of wit?
          Hmmmm..
          http://www.victorianweb.org/art/illustration/carol/1.html

          • Chefofsinners

            I’ve got a wig.

          • dannybhoy

            How very serendipitous!
            Wonderful news Chef. I think that makes you eligible for the Best Periwig category.
            That will shake up the competition…

  • Royinsouthwest

    It would not be quite as bad, Mrs. Proudie, if the Synod simply winked at the odd sin. Unfortunately the name of the formerly august body should not be Sin-odd but Legion, for their sins are many.

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      Exactly so dear Roy.

  • IanCad

    I am hopeful that your ever more militant posts are reflective of the national sentiment Madam. Poetic rage that stirs the heart. Change is rarely wrought without resort to fisticuffs. .
    We need to invite President Trump over here to conduct our Brexit negotiations.

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      I fear I have of late donned the Bodice of Militancy and the Foundations of Smiting, for there is much wrong about modern life and the way we are going…perhaps I am being too forthright, but then again…

      • Recording of what was being said in a Birmingham mosque.

        https://mobile.twitter.com/V_of_Europe/status/936701202825441280/video/1

      • Father David

        You aren’t related to Jonathan “sword of truth” Aitken by any chance? We all remember what happened to him! Yes indeed, he left the Tories and joined UKIP, a fate worse than death – there again – out of the frying pan into the fire.

        • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

          No

          • Father David

            -el, Noel, Noel, Noel,
            Born is the King of Israel.

          • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

            Strange…I put you down as being a republican….

          • Father David

            Good grief NO! Unless, of course, you were offering yourself as a candidate for President once good queen Victoria vacates the throne?

      • IanCad

        Fear not Good Lady! Continue as you have – unleash your stays and swing your chatelaine. The yeomen of England have lost their spirit. Shame on them for necessitating the valiant words of a weak and feeble woman to speak for them; But what a woman!! One with the heart and stomach of a king. One who will pour foul scorn on the treasonous wretches who govern and entertain us, and who intrigue to encourage foreign princes to invade the borders of our realm. One who may persuade us to acquit ourselves as men, to salvage our honour, to regain our valour.
        In short, Dear Lady – to grow a pair;

    • David

      Quite so Ian.
      The PM must be one of the most excessively cautious and fearful of change creatures I have ever come across. She appears to have no imagination for the advantages of becoming, once again, a self governing nation. She also lacks genuine respect for the wishes of the voters expressed through the referendum, that great exercise in democracy. She is really so cautious as to be useless – the sort of person who would snatch defeat from the jaws of victory – not a good one to have on the team let alone leading it !
      Yes we need some of Trump’s plain speaking, belief in the west and energy.

      • IanCad

        How Long, How long!!?? Can our wholly inept PM hold on for?
        She should give the entire country a Christmas gift in the act of her resignation.

        • David

          Yes she has no flair or feel for the job.
          But who to replace her. My longtime favourite has been David Davies, but please not Boris !

          • CliveM

            There isn’t a single individual in any party who seems to me to have any level of required competence. We have NEVER had such poor politicians.

          • David

            Agreed.
            Partly this is due to being in the EU for four decades. All the crucial decisions are made there and imposed upon us devaluing the job of a Westminster MP. My hope is that our democracy will be reinvigorated after we become sovereign once more. It will take time of course.

          • dannybhoy

            Definitely not Boris the Buffoon, even David Davis has lost credibility in my opinion.
            Jacob Rees Mogg at some point in the future?
            Frankly we no lomger breed men of integrity or stature; thanks to equality and dumbing down, they’re all standard size, standard intelligence, standard approved education..
            Like eggs receiving a kite mark…

          • David

            Agree with that.
            I see David Davies as the best of an unimpressive lot.

          • dannybhoy

            I did have a lot of time for David, but I can’t help but think he is out of his depth with the Brexit negotiations.
            after. The referendum I stopped being actively involved with UKIP, believing the party had done its job and that the Government would take over and successfully conclude the process.
            I no longer believe that.
            To me it seems the mask has been ripped away,exposing the inadequacy and incompetence of our politicians.

            I actually think Nigel Farage would have made a far better fist of things because he knows what he’s talking about. Margaret Thatcher’s government most certainly would have done a better job.

            I now fear that the government is edging towards capitulation by presenting remaining as a better alternative to a Trotsky government led but Comrade Corbin and Comrade McDonald..

          • David

            Well I agree with the broad direction of that.
            Yes the Brexit negotiations has revealed the inadequacy of our politicians and, for many, their lack of patriotism.
            I stuck with Ukip as I have never trusted the Conservatives, after Heath’s betrayal, although I am far less active than before.
            I do believe, that although May is a useless article I’d prefer to prop her up, and get the best Brexit that can be achieved by a combination of May, the negotiating team and of course the reaction of the genuine Tory conservatives, than risk a quasi – communist government. That would deny us Brexit and set us back more than a decade.
            Some of the young, in their brainwashed naiveté, criticise the oldies for Brexit, yet their blind faith in dangerous quasi- Marxist claptrap shows how many are not so much educated as utterly out of touch with harsh reality and totally brainwashed by their left wing “educators”.

          • dannybhoy

            Nothing much changes. The young with their built in optimism
            and invincibility think that this time a left wing government will succeed where a previous one has failed…
            And you can’t telling them anything because you’re an old buffer and what do you know anyway..
            “Useless article”
            Haven’t heard that for years! My Dad used that phrase a lot. I won’t say in relation to whom…

          • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

            But we have a quasi-communist government…look at what Greening is pushing in Education!

          • David

            True !
            Socially the “Conservatives” are now distinctly very left wing. Within the political party conservatism has collapsed.
            But Corbyn style economic leftism would do great harm in that area as well.

          • Yes I feel Farage’s talents are being wasted, he’s had 20odd years dealing with the EU bureaucrats and is very knowledgeable.

            Mrs T had to battle hard with them for the rebate but the ‘iron lady’ stood her ground. That’s what we need.

          • I think Jacob Rees-Mogg should take the reins from Tereason May pretty soon.
            He has a wonderful eye for the details and is thorough. I’d love JRM, to be negotiating with Junket, Barnear and Verhuffanpuff, he’d turn them inside out along with Mr Farage and Gove and
            David Davis and Boris as back up.

          • David

            I am a supporter too.

      • Anna055

        But she is quite stubborn …… just at the moment that’s good!

  • Lovely article Mrs Proudie.

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      Thank you Marie

  • David

    I recommend Gavin Ashenden’s wonderful Advent Sunday teaching, on his website.

  • Inspector General

    Anyone know if the building Sinnerd meets in has a basement, perhaps for let. One is exploring options…

    • Keep Jack informed about the results of your research.

      • Inspector General

        It must be entertained that a certain Supreme Governor has run out of patience with the Bugger Fest going on in the CoE and is soon to instruct ( read ‘demand’) that Welby gets rid of it. Ideally, in a sack dropped from Blackfriars bridge into the Thames, if a big enough sack can be found.

        Similarly, one can also suspect that due to his underage gay icon status the prince George must suffer, the Secret Service will thoroughly vet any adult, male AND female, who may come into contact with him. For the sake of the realm, Jack.

  • Royinsouthwest

    There is an interesting article about the Archbishop of Canterbury by the Rev. Jules Gomes at the Conservative Women website. I will quote the first two paragraphs.

    Two men go to the temple to pray, one the Archbishop of Canterbury and the other a Trump-voting American fundamentalist. Archbishop Justin, standing before ITV’s Robert Peston, prays: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, Tories, pro-lifers, patriots, climate change deniers, wealth creators, welfare state haters, women’s ordination objectors, Islamophobes, homophobes, transphobes, Jacob Rees-Mogg or even like this fundamentalist Christian Trump-voter. I support Fair Trade and food banks. I challenge Wonga and high street banks.I pray for the UN climate summit in Paris. I issue press releases on child refugees and terrorist attacks. I denounce Brexiteers and praise Remainers.’

    The Trump-voter, standing far off, will not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beats his breast, saying: ‘I am a garbage collector from America’s Rust Belt struggling to raise a family. I voted for Trump. God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’

    https://www.conservativewoman.co.uk/rebel-priest-rev-jules-gomes-easy-virtue-grandstanding-archbishops/

    • Chefofsinners

      Jules is not a man to mince his words, nor to compromise his beliefs, but more than this, he is an excellent bible teacher.

  • Redrose82

    How many of you have followed the request of the senior Anglican cleric and prayed that Prince George will grow up to be gay. The mind boggles. No wonder church going is a dying pastime.

    • Anton

      It is mentioned on preceding threads.

    • Inspector General

      It’s gone down very badly at the ‘Mouse and Wheel’. Subject was raised (now who would do that? Ahem…)

      It’s grooming, of course. Nothing short…

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      Not in Barchester I assure you.

    • Lucius

      Has the CoE officially declared homosexuality a positive moral behavior (i.e. without sin) or is acting on homosexual desires still sin for which one should repent?

    • michaelkx

      as I have said before read Revelation 3: 14 to 22and that should describe the fellow, and the church of today, well the official one.

  • The fish rots from the head.
    It’s back to home groups then.

    • Inspector General

      The smell emanates from Sinnerd’s behind. Lack of moral bowel hygiene, you see…

  • Dominic Stockford

    Not so odd, simply chasing sin.

  • len

    Liberturdinarians?.