Mrs Proudie
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The emergence of Snowflake-ism: the emotional, irrational belief in zombiesque moral superiority

Goodness! Having been shown, by a dear friend and fellow communicant, that there might be an alternative, progressive way of interpreting my missives from Barchester (gasp!), I have decided this week to sprinkle my offering with some unambiguous nature notes, inspired by Gilbert White’s frequent forays into the shrubbery – the man was an expert with his dibber. How one yearns for the softer days of spring, when a myriad of woodland flowers brightens many a morning walk, and longer shadows stretch out across the tussocks by late afternoon. It is then that I take myself off, through the rose garden to the Summer House, seeking solitude and reflection, George Herbert clasped in both hands and Samuel Smiles dangling on my chatelaine. In those private moments, I am indeed a lone, lawn creature.

My Lord did not attend the gathering of his episcopal brethren for the declaration on marriage, as he was busy laying the foundation stone for the new ‘Bishop Proudie’s Home for Fallen Women and Transgendered Whatevers’ in Silverbridge. To be fair, he was reluctant to accept the honour of patronage, but I nudged him into it: one must keep up with the times. So good to hear their lordships have rediscovered the Bible, even if few of them can bear to quote it. The Jupiter has gone completely apoplectic, so clearly it was the right decision.

One is always bemused by the Bolshevik Broadcasting Company’s assertion that it speaks for the people. It doesn’t – it simply speaks for some of the people all of the time. No surprise then, to read of Miss Kuenssberg’s epic rudeness when given the opportunity to question President Trumpelstiltskin the other day. A glance from that young lady would turn milk sour. Within the London Quinoa Belt Bubble where egos are stroked by an interchangeable cast of Imogens and Zacks, there is no doubt that many minds think as one, but there is another Britain beyond, as Miss Gaskell pointed out (and the referendum amply demonstrated).

Back to nature for a moment. Did you know the Palace gardens were laid out in the eighteenth century by Lazarus “Incapability” Beige, a pale imitation of his master and somewhat handicapped – some would say inspired – by his incarceration in Barchester Bedlam, but lauded now for his love of crazy paving and ornamental baroque ziggurats (a style subsequently much copied by town planners in every corner of the land). His ‘Bishops’ Walk’ is a notable feature; a lengthy gravel promenade lined with marble statues of Barchester’s episcopal denizens, such as the medieval epicure Piers Gavescon (no, not that one; our chap only licked the plate) and the first Reformation prelate, Marmaduke Lightfire, known in the town as Old Faggotheaver. No doubt in due time, my Lord’s statue will join the serried ranks, eyes heavenward, the pedestal inscribed: ‘Rest in Peace: Until I Come.’ Our under-gardener, Trenchfoot, keeps the whole place neat and tidy, is cultivating new blooms, and is always happy to show me something wonderful in the Potting Shed.

I wish someone could explain to me why those marching under banners blazoned with ‘Love not Hate’ set fire to vehicles, break shop windows and viciously attack the President’s 10-year-old son? As for the incendiary shenanigans at Berkeley, it seems the Left has finally shown themselves to be beyond the pale. I mentioned this to the Archdeacon.

“Madame,” he replied, swilling his brandy several times around the glass before continuing. “At various times in history Europe, and indeed the world, has been convulsed by collective madness. One thinks of the Black Death, which caused the death of untold millions; then revolution, which overturned the natural order and… led to the death untold thousands. Now we see the emergence of Snowflake-ism, the emotional, irrational belief in zombiesque moral superiority and ‘Never mind the Love, feel the width of the cudgel’. As St. Thomas Aquinas said, ‘There are some funny buggers about.’”

There are indeed.

At this point, Mr. Slope came in through the French windows with a bunch of winter pansies. So kind.

“I have been sowing seeds in the wildflower border in preparation for a splendid summer show,” he explained, beaming. “Firstly, I had to pull out the Sticky Willy and two minutes later I came across a Shaggy Soldier – imagine my surprise!”

As long as I have poppies, Persian Jewels and cowslips, I don’t care.

Now that President Trump has abolished Climate Change, we can look forward to mild winters and lovely warm summers. I rather fancy Stinking Billy in the courtyard, but each to their own.

Well now, my dears, as Mr. Slope would say, I’ve left the big one until the end! No, nothing to do with the marrows growing in the hothouse. Image the joy and delight sweeping through The Palace on Thursday night at the news from Westminster. The Prime Minister, no longer Mrs. Dismay but Mrs. Maythywillbedone, is empowered to go forward with Brexit. By all accounts, Comrade Corbyn had a terrible time of it, with many in his party defying the whips – and some whips defying the whip too! He came across as not waving but drowning; a man out of his depth in a puddle. I shall not say a puddle of what, but dandelions have a similar aroma.

So, having meandered through a garden of earthly delights, pointing out vistas and choice specimens, a fragrance here and a bramble there, it’s time to take off the gardening gloves and glide towards Evensong. As the delicate trellis work of social justice is battered by the trumpeting winds of Uncle Sam, and the moles of common sense undermine the gazebo of rampant ideology, ‘tis time to light a votive candle to St. Bonny of Titchmarsh and bid you all adieu.

  • IrishNeanderthal

    Counter Snowflake-ism with Snowdrop-ism: the ability to survive and bloom even in a harsh winter of discontent.

  • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

    “Imagine the joy…” oh dear oh dear

  • betteroffoutofit

    As delightfully unambiguous as ever, Mrs. Proudie!!! Thank you, once again :))

  • Anton

    No mention of the lettuce shortage due to the rain in Spain, Mrs Proudie?

    • chefofsinners

      The lettuce shortage is just the tip of an iceberg.

    • Royinsouthwest

      I believe there is also a shortage of rocket. Could that have something to do with all the fireworks used by student protestors at Berkeley?

  • Anton

    A service has taken place in the chapel of the Anglican theological college Westcott House in Cambridge in a gay slang language known as Polari. The service, held by trainee priests, was to commemorate LGBT history month and the congregation was informed that this was an attempt to “queer the liturgy of evening prayer”.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38863545

    The principal of Westcott House, Chris Chivers, said the liturgy of the service had not been authorised for use: “I fully recognise that the contents of the service are at variance with the doctrine and teaching of the Church of England and that is hugely regrettable… I have spoken at length to those involved in organising the service. I will be reviewing and tightening the internal mechanisms of the house to ensure this never happens again.”

    Waffle. Will he expel those involved?

    • chefofsinners

      Instead of “Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and the Holy Spirit” the prayer offered was: “Fabeness be to the Auntie, and to the Homie Chavvie, and to the Fantabulosa Fairy”.
      The worst of this is that it was done by trainee priests, those who are the future of the CoE.

      • Anton

        God does not always act with thunderbolts and we can see for ourselves which sectors of the CoE are in decline.

        “Rend your heart and not your garments, return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and merciful” (Joel 2:13) was printed in the Order of Service as “rend your thumping chest and not your frocks – and turn unto the Duchess your Gloria: for she is bona and merciful”.

      • Maalaistollo

        From being a parody of a church, the C of E now seeks to be a parody of Round the Horne, but without the humour. May we expect Rambling Sid Rumpo to be the next ABC?

      • Merchantman

        Don’t they realise they are committing The Greatest Sin? How much longer will this be allowed to continue? We have to hear from the ++ on this.

      • I find it really disrespectful, selfish and petulant.

        • Inspector General

          Of course Marie, many of those fluent in Polari were carried off by the AIDS clearout. Don’t forget to light a candle for them!

    • len

      The enemy is within the walls but will they be expelled? .I think we all know the answer to that….

    • 1642+5thMonarchy

      “A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is known and carries his banner openly. But the traitor moves amongst those within the gate freely, his sly whispers rustling through all the alleys, heard in the very halls of government itself. For the traitor appears not a traitor; he speaks in accents familiar to his victims, and he wears their face and their arguments, he appeals to the baseness that lies deep in the hearts of all men. He rots the soul of a nation, he works secretly and unknown in the night to undermine the pillars of the city, he infects the body politic so that it can no longer resist. A murderer is less to fear.” Cicero.

      The same applies to any organisation or institution, not least the Church. The traitors, the agents of anti-Christ, are within the walls.

      • Anton

        Parasites on the body of Christ.

      • David

        The relevant bishop should eject those who deliberately subvert the doctrine and teachings of the C of E. Toleration simply encourages wrong doing.

        • 1642+5thMonarchy

          The House of Bishops are the root of the problem.

        • chiaramonti

          But he won’t, will he? Not Oxford.

      • dannybhoy

        And whoever would have thought dear old Britain would be destroyed by such as these..

        • Anton

          Actually I agree with those who say it is heterosexual promiscuity, and its effects, which are doing that. Remember how small the BLT minority really is.

          • dannybhoy

            To a degree but it all comes from the same poisoned philosophy. There are plenty of people who just live without any concern as to why. I have far less time for the smug and supercilious who knowingly and deliberately seek to destroy what is good.

          • Inspector General

            Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato?

          • Anton

            I couldn’t possibly comment.

    • David

      They should be ejected.

    • Dominic Stockford

      When I was in a similar place the staff always knew what was planned in student led services. Given that this service was actually advertised, and service sheets printed off, it seems there is some dissimulation going on from the principal.

    • They should all be released where they will be free to set up their own queer church.

      • Inspector General

        There’ll be no queer church, Marie. They just want to destroy existing ones…

      • Anton

        We presumably agree that they should go, but ‘released’ implies they want to go, whereas they in fact want to stay. There is already a gay organisation that calls itself a Christian church, the Metropolitan Church, but the prize for the people at Westcott is the *Established* church.

        • Yes it does doesn’t it, I wanted to say they should all be fired on the spot but was being kind. It does seem that they want to tear down the Established order without giving a thought to any of the damage and consequences their havoc will wreak as long as they are happy and get what they want.

  • len

    Retiring into the dwindling foliage is sometimes necessary to deal with the travesty that has become everyday life Mrs Proudie but I hope those colourful winter pansies brightened up your day somewhat.

    However ,spring is just around the corner and I am sure that it will be blooming marvellous, with Brexit and Trump in power what could possibly go wrong?.

    • dannybhoy

      Len have you seen my response to your
      “It is’ the mindset’ when reading scriptures that influences our interpretation Danny.
      We clearly see that you can present the same scripture to different denominations and they will interpret the scripture according to their mindset.” comment http://archbishopcranmer.com/same-sex-marriage-athens-jerusalem/

      • len

        Just seen your response Danny(been out buying a dog bed for my sons new
        puppy) and agree with your point in part. It is extremely hard to read
        scripture without pre judging and pre- suppositions but sometimes we need to actively strip away all these prejudices and preconceptions and let the scriptures speak for themselves.

        • dannybhoy

          “It is extremely hard to read scripture without pre judging and pre- suppositions but sometimes we need to actively strip away all these prejudices and preconceptions and let the scriptures speak for themselves.
          I’d say it is impossible! We all have our preconceptions and prejudices, but it is as the Holy Spirit moves and shapes us that we begin to change. That old chorus says it well..
          “Spirit of the living God,
          Fall afresh on me.
          Spirit of the living God,
          Fall afresh on me.
          Break me, melt me,
          Mold me, fill me,
          Spirit of the living God,
          Fall afresh on me.”

          I thought you were trying to say something else..

          • len

            Indeed, it is the holy Spirit that illuminates scripture (after all He is the Author.)

          • Anton

            That’s OLD?

          • dannybhoy

            Old as in ‘fond of’. I don’t know many modern ones and those I’ve heard I don’t much care for,,

  • Dreadnaught

    Indeed Madam you have prepared a veritable cornucopia of seedling topics set ripe for disambiguation
    by the regular swathe of weekend keyboard warriors with now’t better to do than contemplate the iniquities of this world turned upside down.
    A world where obscure minorities’ interests Trump the democratic majority’s common sense in beliefs and demands that would leave the mouths of the true British warrior generation agape and aghast, at the sheer amount of lame-brained malcontents now given unlimited platforms for media driven attention, on which to parade their bloated senses of grievance and perversion, such as now is labelled diversity and democracy.
    ‘Dare to be different’ they say; let children decide which gender mindset they want to apply to their male or female bodies. But this is nothing new.
    Oh how one woman (no offence intended), must have suffered in establishing her true internal concept of gender orientation. I refer of course to the not male person, who despite the name of Charlie drove many a newly aroused non-female, non-gardener to the dark confines of the potting shed, to view the latest episode of Ground Force on an illicit Betamax video tape and a chepo Brazillian Bush television.
    Could she/he be I wondered, one of the same species of humanity that having burned their bras in the name of liberation and freedom, transfixed the eyes and attention
    of males, and I’m sure, many of the the other then unknown, 57 Varieties of erstwhile inter-sex, proto-horticulturalists, on her jaunty, jiggling frontage, as she wheeled her wheelbarrow toward the lens of the all observing camera.
    Clad in a skimpy singlet, torn jeans and tousled, just down from the hay-loft, strawberry blonde hair, did more for ‘grow your own veg’ in thirty minutes than the entire ’40s Dig for Victory campaign.
    Charlies charlies (and to be fair, she had her knockers), had a life of their own: free; wonderfully free; as spring lambs are free and bouncing with delight in the Spring sunshine.
    Not surprising then that there was an upsurge in applications for local council allotments in many areas throught this green and pleasant land.
    The allotment of course, not only being the favoured hang-out for vegetables and social dropouts, but also the hot-spot for all varieties of garden birds form the very rare migrant pink-footed booby to the ubiquitous family of Great Britsh tits of all differing shapes and sizes. The prospect of raising ones own pistil powered projects in the company of other, like-minded but grubby fingered dibber-dobbersand avid bird watchers, truly gripped the nation .
    Alas and alack we are left now with only the memories of such an age of innocent appreciation of the wonderful panoply of nature on our doorsteps.
    Roll on Spring Watch… can we have Mx Dimmock this time, if her talents that is, haven’t permanently gone South.

  • bluedog

    Dear Mrs P, one is shocked to learn that your excellent posts have been twisted so that their meaning appears to have been reversed, and trusts you dealt harshly with the miscreant. Permit this communicant at least to say that today’s post is ecologically sound and sustainable in all regards. An occasional gardening column is a soothing balm indeed after a heavy week dealing with pressing matters. One has a vision of you, clad in bonnet and crinoline, guiding His Grace’s congregation on a conducted walk through Gilbert White’s beloved Selbourne Hanger in early summer. Bravo!

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      Shall I book you a ticket for my guided tour?

      • bluedog

        That would be lovely, Mrs P. If a light but nourishing luncheon is included, please note that one prefers sandwiches that do not include kale, quinoa or goat’s cheese.

        • Inspector General

          A nice juicy meatbone between two slices of bread….

          • bluedog

            A Melton Mowbray pork pie, an apple and a bottle of light beer would do me fine, Inspector.

            Not sure about the err, wisdom, of crunching on a meat-bone. Sounds expensive from a dental perspective.

  • Inspector General

    Flapdoodle Par Excellence!

  • TropicalAnglican

    Anglican Mainstream has an item on Barnabas Fund challenging the BBC to “correct a wholly false claim made last Sunday on prime time TV news about Christian refugees in the USA.” (http://anglicanmainstream.org/barnabas-fund-challenges-bbc-to-correct-wholly-wrong-statement-on-christian-refugees-in-the-usa/)

    This is the relevant section:
    “When specifically asked if persecuted Christians would be a priority he [President Trump] replied:

    “Yes, they have been horribly treated. Do you know if you were a Christian in Syria it was impossible, at least very, very tough to get into the United States. If you were a Muslim you could come in, but if you were a Christian it was almost impossible.”

    On Sunday evening at the start of the 10pm television news, the BBC broadcast the following comment on this by their New York correspondent, Nick Bryant:

    “In an interview with an evangelical television network [President Trump] claimed without any factual basis the old Obama policy favoured Muslims over Christians” (emphasis added).”

    There is also a related editorial link from Barnabas Fund which includes the following alarming para about the BBC:

    “The BBC has set up an agreement with Facebook to remove any news stories the BBC fact-checking unit says are untrue. However, it has long been claimed that the BBC itself has its own bias and sometimes gets things wrong itself. In fact, just this week Barnabas Fund wrote the BBC Director-General to correct a serious error in the 10pm TV news on Sunday.”
    It would be best to read both items in full!

  • David

    Thank you indeed Mrs Proudie for your weekly letter from Barchester.
    As you rightly say, notwithstanding the bitter Remoaners Brexit appears to be firmly on course.
    Last night both residents of our ever so ‘umble cottage toasted the passing of the First Reading with a suitable bottle.

  • Politically__Incorrect

    “Love not hate”. One has to remember that when they talk about love they are not talking about the self-sacrificing type of love, more the kind offered by Madonna to any man who would vote for Hilary. The Left think with their genitalia. The antics of those agents of love in Berkley say it all. Hate is fine when somebody disagrees with you.

  • dannybhoy

    “No surprise then, to read of Miss Kuenssberg’s epic rudeness when given the opportunity to question President Trumpelstiltskin the other day.”
    I remember that and it was indeed both rude and mischievous; designed I think to embarrass both parties whilst at the same time displaying her poor manners.

    • Anton

      One does not have to share Laura Kuenssberg’s views in order to affirm that the role of the press is exactly to ask hard questions with courtesy.

      • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

        Courtesy is key….

      • Dreadnaught

        The touble with todays tv reporters is that they see themselves as ‘personalities’ and as paramount to that instead of delivering straight news reporting.
        They and their studio based colleagues seem happy enough to wish each other good morning or good afternoon and totally ignore the viewer as they conduct what is essentially their own tet-a-tet. A small point it may seem, but it signifies much that is wrong with tv news.
        I want news reported and questions asked that steer clear of their own opinions and inevitable left-wing bias.

        • Anton

          I want to see the media hold *everybody* in power to account with hard questions. If you don’t like what you see, do as I do and save yourself the TV license fee!

          • Dreadnaught

            Excuse me, but I think you are missing my point. Holding people to account is exactly what I am talking about. But not by ‘holding them to account’ before they have enacted anything substantial and based on that individual’s political standpoint, while purporting to be asking questions on behalf of the entire nation, is sham ‘journalism’.
            Kunessberg’s personal judgement of Trump was clearly evident in her grilling in the presence of the PM, with a series of sneering snipes aimed at the man as much as his views. Like him or not ,should never influence the question (in this case, several) put to the elected representative of millions of Americans in an overtly insulting tone that must have had Mrs May squirming with embarassment, having given the opportunity of first question to a BBC talking head.

          • dannybhoy

            Holding people to account is not their job. They are allowing, no assuming their own opinion justifies them ‘holding people to account’ and this is part of what is undermining democracy and respect for those actually in positions of authority and accountability.

          • Dreadnaught

            I think good journalism is the first stage in alerting the public to matters for which politicians can be legitimately held accountable for their action/inactions.

          • Anton

            I wish Kuennsberg had asked a real zinger like, “How can you play the anti-financial-establishment card and then appoint SIX Goldman Sachs people to your cabinet”?

          • Dreadnaught

            What has it at all to do with the UK? We didn’t take kindly to Oh Bummer’s comment regarding Brexit – back of the line etc. This country of ours needs to be concentrating on our own issues.

          • Maalaistollo

            Expect ChaucerChronicle will be along in a minute, to tick me off for being off-topic and trivial all over his nice clean floor, but I also refuse to fund the deplorable BBC. I’ve had a 99% one-sided correspondence with the TV Licence Records Office in its various manifestations since 1983. I wrote to them then to say I had no television. They have continued to send me their threatening letters, all of which I return to them. They now arrive at the rate of about one a month. Must have cost them quite a bit in postage over the course of 34 years.

          • dannybhoy

            Well I as a tv license fee payer resent the financial costs of your stubborn intransigence…

          • Maalaistollo

            My ‘financial intransigence’ is not costing you, or anybody else, anything. I do not have a television, so why should I pay a fee for the use of something I do not possess? The telescreen is not yet compulsory. Do you criticise those who choose not to subscribe to The Guardian?

          • dannybhoy

            And this is the sole reason you post, to vent your indignation?
            Lighten up, it was a leg pull.

          • Maalaistollo

            No, that’s only one of a number of reasons, but leg duly pulled. I did lighten up today, listening to the BBC lunchtime news on the wireless. There was very little news, but a lot of time spent interviewing the usual anti-Trump demonstrators and then, to provide ‘balance’, finding some suitably left-behind working-class chaps from Essex to say that they wouldn’t criticise Trump for doing, when elected, what he said he would do when standing for election. The liberal establishment is now clearly very worried indeed.

          • dannybhoy

            Good comeback. It seems to me that we are so used to the western political establishment’s push towards anti capitalism, equality, human rights and multiculturalism that we have forgotten what it’s like to have an individualist leading a powerful western nation. We accept dictatorship in China, the subjugation of Tibet, the peaceful invasion of some parts of Africa, the gangster state of Russia led by Putin, North Korea, the mad mullahs of Iran and so on and so on..
            But America!
            America’s supposed to lie down and allow the world to walk all over it. We have enemies within, and so does the US.
            Trump needs to become more diplomatic and give proper notice for his radical policies,but essentially what he’s looking to do is t=right.

          • Anton

            I return the first one or two with a polite note saying that their inspector is welcome to a cup of strong real coffee, and ignore subsequent ones.

          • ChaucerChronicle

            Not so Mr Maalaistollo.

            Saturday is sports day – time for fun, trivilaity and frivolity.

        • dannybhoy

          Not only that but opinion and interpretation has become more important than simply reporting the news. There is too much of it.

          • Dreadnaught

            Never a trait detected in Cliff Mitchelmore or Robert Dougal et al. Such a sad reflection on the demise of proper reporting. At one time the BBC referred to ‘our reporters’ without even referencing thir names. That’s how it should be.

        • David

          Basically they see themselves not as faithful reporters of reality but as opinion formers. In the past this role was performed by ones parents, grandparents, schooling and in adult life, the local vicar.

      • bluedog

        But Miss Kuenssberg’s questioning technique leaves a lot to be desired. Her entire approach was self-defeating due to its complexity, length and the fact that her question was structured as a statement. She should have asked a single open question that provide an opportunity for her to ask a secondary question. As it was, confronted with Kuenssberg’s agenda, Trump had the option of declining to give an answer to any topic, and he did so. It’s not a matter of courtesy but of simply understanding the nature of dialogue and most importantly, how to start a dialogue. Epic fail, M/s K.

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      Well, they live in Borsetshire I believe, the neighbouring county to Barset….

      • Anton

        They was Robbed.

  • Alison Bailey Castellina

    “Snowflake” was defined by the FT as “someone deemed too emotionally vulnerable to cope with views that challenge their own” so we should tread carefully. I used it once last week and caused a Facebook snowstorm. It demeans only young people, but all ages are displaying weird behaviours, including those not connected to the internet. Is this phenomenon influenced by the press and TV more than by social media? It is clearly coming from external influences and forces to which some of us are entirely deaf and immune. Others are clearly not immune and are suffering deep emotional ‘angst’ and anger (misdirected?). They seem to have created a quasi-religion from political ideologies. Where can they turn when their worldview stops making sense? The answer is rationality, (self) re-education and (for some who respond) God. We know His Way is the only authoritative and safe path. Scripture teaches that all deception is created by mighty, dark, unseen and spiritual powers. In an earlier age, shattered people could always fall back on a moral Christian education – but sadly, no longer.

    • David

      The weird behaviour was first seen publicly after the tragic, premature death of Princess Dianna. Instead of normal grief we saw extreme behaviour. Since then the narcissism and mental instability suffered by many has increased.

      • 1642+5thMonarchy

        I recall hearing someone say on BC Radio, “I am my own god.” Look no further for the cause.

        • Anton

          At least that person was honest. The trouble is that he or she wants to be your god too.

          • David

            Even Hinduism has “only” 4000 gods last time I checked. But “progressive” methods of child rearing and education aim to produce 63 million, and that’s just in the UK !

          • NortyNina

            ‘Even Hinduism has “only” 4000 gods’

            They aren’t really Gods so much as representations of different facets of the one true God, or ‘truth’.
            http://motls.blogspot.jp/2014/04/hinduism-for-physicists.html#more

          • Anton

            Hinduism is monist but not monotheist. I am surprised that Motl, a decent if opinionated theoretical physicist, has permitted waffle about the interface between consciousness and physics on his blog.

          • NortyNina

            Better not tell that to Freeman Dyson then.

          • Anton

            Motl is not alone.

      • Anton

        The many of us who dissented from the Cult of Diana during that week of mourning simply stayed quiet – I like to think out of decorum rather than cowardice. But the press got the number of people they said would come to London for the funeral wrong by a factor of TEN.

      • chefofsinners

        This is not a new phenomenon, it is plain old mass hysteria, but amplified by social media. Billions of cosseted millennials are defenceless because they have never had to grow up.

        • David

          This hydra has many heads but you’ve identified a few of them.

        • bluedog

          Exactly, it’s a ‘Mania’. Than which there is no greater example than the carefully confected Anti-Trump Mania.

        • Sarky

          Ever thought that this hysteria is just filling the void left by failed Christianity?

          • chefofsinners

            Abandoned Christianity, yes.

          • Sarky

            Abandoned because it has failed.

          • chefofsinners

            Failed because it has been abandoned. How do you fill the void?

          • Sarky

            People don’t tend to abandon something that is flourishing.

      • Inspector General

        As the saying goes, David, “the whole world is queer, ‘cept thee and me, and even then, thee’s a bit queer”

  • Miss Kuenssberg deserves our pity. She had only just completed her recovery after the Brexit referendum when the Trump victory dealt her another grievous blow. Finding herself face to face with the ogre known as ‘literally Hitler’, poor Laura’s mind whirled like a dervish and she scarcely knew what she was saying. With the far Right gaining ground, it is thought that Laura may require permanent sedation.

    • Dominic Stockford

      And there was me thinking she was supposed to report what others say. Now I discover she is apparently intended to be an ‘opinion former’ my whole view of the Bolshevik Broadcasters is changing.

      • Merchantman

        ‘opinion former’… by what right does the Bolshy Broadcasters Corps seek to form opinion? Time to call time methinks, and what an opportunity to recast it in time for its centenary.

      • @ Dominic Stockford—Biased BBC collects and preserves the opinions of BBC staff In Their Own Words and In Their Own Tweets.

  • the emergence of Snowflake-ism, the emotional, irrational belief in zombiesque moral superiority

    To make Western nations multiracial and multi-faith, it was necessary to suppress, as far as possible, the natural instinct that makes us empathize most strongly with those most like us. Early attempts at suppression involved appeals to our ‘better nature’ and have now been augmented by thought crime legislation and the threat of prison. Despite the best efforts of church and state, however, ethnocentrism—thought to be regulated by the brain chemical oxytocin—refuses to wither.

    The Snowflakes, one minute demanding safe spaces to shield them from unwelcome opinions and the next using violence to make no space safe, are torn between the behaviour demanded of them by the state—inculcated by the propaganda machine known as progressive education—and their own natural instinct. Let’s hope that natural instinct wins because the alternative is a West full of zombies.

  • Inspector General

    Ah, the memories come flooding back…

    We formed a long line in two inches of snow one chilly day in the early 1970s. Our protestations about doing a 3 mile cross country run that day had come to nought. The master was adamant, and naturally, he was all powerful. He did say “there’s nothing precious about any of you darlings. You are ALL going to do it”.

    He was of course quite right. From same boys from a now far off time, came men who formed and administered the greatest of empires…

    • Dominic Stockford

      We did that too, and in the ’70’s. The most fun was when two boys ‘couldn’t finish’ the house cross-country competition because it was a bit hard. Oh boy, did they get a shellacking from boys of all houses!

      • dannybhoy

        Did it in the early ’60s and greatly enjoyed the hot shower tea and rock cake afterwards..

        • Dominic Stockford

          I took a long time to get to that, washing off the pounds of mud clinging to clothes and shoes after we finished took hours….

          • dannybhoy

            Were you at boarding school too?

          • Dominic Stockford

            My uncle was a monk, so we got a considerable bursary, making it possible for me to have to endure 5 years at Downside School (not ‘endure’ all five years, there were a few days when things were fine!). Although not personally affected by the behaviour of some of the monks there it was at the time when the two recently highlighted in the press were up to their dirty deeds.

            I spent much time mucking around in the hills and vales and copses in the area, anything to avoid being in the school with the privileged elite (who made no secret of their loathing for me, because of my background). Playing sport was also a good way to get away from the hassle and bullying – even if you weren’t much good at it.

            One amusing thought – I had friends who used to hide in the Abbey crypt to avoid attending Abbey services….

          • dannybhoy

            Well bless your heart. I always think it is our drawing near to Christ our Hogh Priest that helps us make sense of our life experiences and get a balanced perspective on things. We all carry ‘scar tissue’ from the past don’t we, and underneath our outward veneers of self sufficiency and success lurks the child , perhaps lonely perhaps confused or unloved. But when we give our lives to God He is able to take all those experiences and use them and us to touch others.
            I am going to copy your comment into my Google mail saved in the hopes that I will remember it in future!

          • Dominic Stockford

            I find I have peace in Christ. I never had peace in Rome.

          • dannybhoy

            I could never accept the teachings of Rome, but I do believe there are devout people who live the Lord as they understand the faith, and people whose devotion I can learn from -even if I suspect the motivation. I enjoy what little contact I have with Roman Catholics through Churches Together, and I hope ti get to know them better.
            Please don’t be drawn by those who disagree with your decision to leave. ;0)

        • Inspector General

          “How did the run go, Mr Hughes”

          “Not so good, Headmaster. Thompson’s dead. Webb is in a bad way but matron thinks she can pull him through, and Watts didn’t finish. The boys say he’s run off.”

          “Right. I’ll write to Thompson’s mother, you Mr Hughes send out The Remove to bring back Watts. I don’t really care what condition he’s in just get him here. Oh, and ring for an ambulance for Webb. Matron’s a fine woman, but even she has her limitations.”

          • dannybhoy

            Brilliant Inspector, and I suspect not so far from the truth. There was an apocryphal tale of a lad who run away so often he earned the nickname ‘Lastic..’

          • Inspector General

            Forgotten who it was, but it might have been Airey Neave. When asked how he managed to survive Colditz and the privations of being a captured British Office therein said “I’d been through 5 years of English public school so I was well equipped for that place”.

          • dannybhoy

            Old style boarding school certainly toughened you up and most boys could hack the discipline, but I did feel sorry for the more sensitive types. They tended to get picked on.

          • Anton

            Have you read Nick Duffell’s book The Making of Them?

          • dannybhoy

            No, Just checked it out on Google. Bit more than I would wish to pay even 2nd hand. Found this review..
            http://www.boardingschoolsurvivors.co.uk/books/the-making-of-them/
            It’s a difficult one. Mine was a naval boarding school, and certainly there were kids who were never happy there and those who got picked on, I wanted to go because my big brother went; but you don’t really know what you’re getting in to until you’re in as it were.

          • Anton

            That’s the author’s own website. I was a day boy at the local grammar but made plenty of friends at Cambridge who had boarded, simply because I was in regular contact with many. A good number remain close and valued friends. But I can see what the author means about the institution instilling what he calls a “strategic survival personality” that may relate well to success in society well but less in relationships.

          • dannybhoy

            Yes to an extent I would think that’s true. Some places may have hints of “The Lord of the Flies” kept in check by the adults. In fact I went to my school with eczema and left with eczema, but in less than a year of leaving it had completely disappeared and never came back. So that may well have been the stress of coping with boarding school life, even though I actually enjoyed it and was sad to leave. Mind you it was (naval) boarding school that made me both wary and cynical of authority structures, and probably why I enjoyed the kibbutz social structure.

          • Anton

            That was businessman Roger Cooper on his return from 5 years in an Iranian jail 26 years ago, and the quote was “anyone who like me has been educated in English public schools and served in the ranks of the British Army is quite at home in a third world prison.”

            http://www.nytimes.com/1991/04/03/world/after-the-war-briton-freed-by-iran-is-now-home.html

          • IanCad

            Inspector,
            Rather than condemn the young to a regime of buggery, bullying and brain washing in public – or state – schools; far better, it seems to me, would be the simple expedient of lowering the school leaving age to fourteen or less and getting them into productive work ASAP.
            Plenty of entry level agricultural jobs around. Hard work and plenty of it. Minimum wage and H&SE rules would have to be modified. Nothing like earning one’s bread to educate the young to the ways of the world.
            Think of the savings in school expenditure. Must get out of that box!

          • dannybhoy

            There’s something to be said for that. My father’s generation and further back left school early to work. When you look at other countries perhaps less developed the children work from an early age, and consequently don’t have time to worry about whether they should be a Kyle or a Katie.. There is nothing wrong with most kids that some suitable physical activity or work coupled with accountability wouldn’t cure…
            (Didn’t do Smike much harm….;0)
            http://images.csmonitor.com/csm/2012/02/smike.jpg?alias=standard_540x360

          • Inspector General

            Education beyond the reasonable is the ruin of many, Ian. One particularly feels for women (given the chance) who are clearly sent loopy in many cases…

          • dannybhoy

            You got Danny laughing there.
            You are the same Inspector who played at being in Purdah aren’t you?
            I just wondered if it wasn’t a cover for some operation or other to er, adjust something…?
            You’re much funnier than you used to be..

          • Inspector General

            Any more like that Danny, and the Inspector will disappear for the month of February too. On your head be it…

          • Royinsouthwest

            Are you planning to write a (relatively) modern Tom Brown’s School Days?

          • Inspector General

            Flash a wad of twenties, and the Inspector will dance on water, Roy.

          • Anton

            Flashman!

          • IanCad
          • Dominic Stockford

            Close enough to bring a wry smile, too close to laugh.

        • Sarky

          My mates house was on the course, so we stopped for a smoke and joined back in on the way back.

          • dannybhoy

            Haha, btw, how’d you know about Holbrook?

          • Sarky

            Local!!!

          • dannybhoy

            In that case perhaps you remember the little shop down the road, next to the old water mill where the road curves around towards Ipswich?
            I don’t know how old you are but I started Holbrook in the late ’50’s, and that was a beautiful little area with the lake.
            Last time I visited it had all gone. Even the school magnificent as it once was, looked a bit run down. Very sad.

    • len

      Only 3 miles?

      • Inspector General

        We had small legs then. Felt like 6

        • len

          lol.

          • Inspector General

            6 miles, that is. Not 6 legs…

          • Anton

            Never thought you were an insect!

          • Inspector General

            Next door brought their son around just now. He was thinking about becoming a girl, so the mother asked the Inspector to discuss it with him in private. After she’d left the building, one was able to horsewhip him, and he has decided to give manhood a shot. On condition that the Inspector doesn’t come near him again…

          • Anton

            Careful Inspector, flagellation is somewhat ambiguous in this context.

          • IrishNeanderthal

            But maybe he has been reading Kafka.

    • Hi inspector

      I’m guessing during your time that fagging still went on?

      • Inspector General

        Only in a tobacco sense, Hannah. Around 3:45pm so one recalls, by the bike sheds. Even then, it was only possible by the acquiescence of the staff who left those involved alone.

  • David

    It’s finally the end of my “dry + slim January” so fortified by a good Oz wine I shall say. Oh what fun it is watching the snowflakes melt, and the opinionated leftie – liberals recoil, before the outward workings of democracy in the form of Brexit and the new POTUS. For six decades we conservatives have had their garbage thrust down our gullets and now the push back finally gets underway. But there’s a long, tough road ahead …

    • dannybhoy

      And are you?

      • David

        “are you?” – what ?
        Options.
        ..Fortified – yes thank you.
        ..Weigh less – yes, by 9.5 llbs.
        Other options elude my “fortified” brain.

        • dannybhoy

          Slim.
          -and by now slightly sozzled?

          • David

            Yes and but no.
            Slimmer (a relative term), and by now recovering with the aid of lashings of Yorkshire Tea.

          • dannybhoy

            Was it worth it? Now you’re having to lash out on fortified tea..

          • David

            Even as, ever so ‘umble, cottage dwellers tea is affordable, just.
            In fact “Yorkshire Tea” is so strong a bag is easily useable twice.
            But how did I stray into such meaningless domestic drivel …. you’re leading me astray !

          • Anton

            That’s a diuretic and liable to make the problem worse; try RedBush. I have today discovered the delights of lovage tea, and recommend it with a little honey in it.

          • David

            My wife likes all sorts of weird teas like RedBush but I’ll stick to Yorkshire Tea.

          • Anton

            Fine but I’m talking about it as a recovery aid after drinking alcohol, not about the taste.

          • David

            I had realised that.
            But I find that I recover swiftly, unaided, from two small glasses of wine, if taken with a normal main meal.

          • 1642+5thMonarchy

            Sounds ghey to me.

          • Anton

            Should I have just said that I recommend it with a little honey?

          • David

            What – more sugar !

          • David

            ’tis ghey !

          • dannybhoy

            Comfrey tea is supposed to have all sorts of benefits, but I have taken a liking to lemon and ginger tea, and sometimes nick one of the wife’s peppermint teabags.

  • ChaucerChronicle

    What a cosseted life you must live Mrs Proudie: marrows in the hothouse. Here, in the Socialist Borough of Grimecrime, there is a shortage of broccoli, cabbage, lettuce and courgettes.

    Fights have broken out in Tescos and Sainsburys over the Spanish shortages.

    The local socialist MP, Stephano Timmus, has promised more Greens. The people want greens. He says he understands. The people say he spins. He says he contextualises.

  • Dreadnaught
    • IanCad

      Oh Dear!! This does Christians no merit and plays into the hands of those who condemn Holy Writ on the grounds that anything can be proven by the Bible. I assume the sign is a reflection of the holder’s overly literal interpretation of I Thess. 4:16.

    • chefofsinners

      This guy is a tribute to the Catholic priesthood. He has his own Wikipedia page:
      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neil_Horan

  • not a machine

    Why Mrs Proudie ,I see you contemplating a question ,one I have been considering as well ,should one admire the stinkhorn or re name it , but then I assume the same sort of approach to government spending may have occurred only the other day did the Mr Yourtaxesareourspending offer a lame excuse that so many things would be cured with spending as it makes people happy or believe they are happy .Had it not been for Mr Phallacey and his experienced aged teachings ,I doubt I could fended off the great sucking monster , but that’s the problem its such a devious blighter , sometimes its carrying placards of disgust and sometimes complaint ,never one of who spent it for u.
    Still as the surely as the rapid payment systems meet up with the financial impairments of poor thinking ,we can only await the idea of automated protesters to take hold ,this could well have many advantages , just what Mrs Abbot could have done with when feeling too ill to attend the vote that it seemed she must attend ,on grounds of belief.

  • IanCad

    Grand words, wonderful words, Mrs. P. Take Heart!! Snowflakes melt when exposed to heat; And, the sun is rising!

  • Inspector General

    The Inspector understands that Diane Abbott was too ill to vote in the recent Brexit division. Those who know the Inspector will understand that it is his greatest wish that the dear lady becomes Labour leader in due course and leads said party to defeat in 2024. For this, she needs her full health and strength.

    So, please keep her in your thoughts. If you are a successful white male Briton, whom Diane especially admires, please arrange for flowers to be sent to Westminster

    God bless you all.

    #PrayForDiane