Cameron thumbs up2
Conservative Party

Competence over chaos: Britain votes for a new moral vision

 

The choice was between “competence or chaos”, as David Cameron kept on saying. All the predictions talked about a knife-edge vote, and all the personalities sank into morass of pessimism and faffed around in a black hole of doubts and uncertainties.

It appears that England has voted for competence, and Scotland for chaos. The United Kingdom is in a state of schism which will overshadow politics and fiscal processes over the coming years.

In their Pastoral Letter of visions and dreams, the Bishops of the Church of England encouraged the electorate to vote for a “new moral vision”. The people listened intently, reflected, prayed and obeyed (in England, at least). The Bishop of Liverpool, the Rt Rev’d Paul Bayes, explained the Church’s primary vocation: to “speak of a society where the least and lost are supported, the poor looked after, the victims given a voice and the marginalised cared for”. And he urged people to ask three questions of candidates:

Will your candidate be putting the common good, and especially the interests of the poor and the marginal, at the heart of your policies?

Will your candidate work with churches, faith communities and all people of good will to shape a society where all can flourish and where the stronger will readily and gladly help the weaker

Will you be striving to fashion a healthcare and welfare system that treats each needy individual with respect and honour as a priceless, significant person (made as we would say in the image of God)?

These questions, he said, were “rooted in a biblical understanding of the world”. He explained:

Why these questions? Because I know, from my clergy here in the Diocese of Liverpool, that real human beings are hurting because of the way our society is shaped at present. I know these people’s names and I’ve met some of them. Decent people facing impossible choices between paying for food and paying the rent. Desperate people who feel they have had to turn to high-interest pay day loans to fund the essentials of life. Knowing these people, I want my vote to make life better – not just for me, but for them too.

And he called for a “genuinely big society” where our fiscal, social, educational and welfare policies coalesce around the common good. He wanted foreigners to be welcomed, the young given hope and wealth spread. He wanted an end to “the dehumanising effects of our welfare system”, and made a plea for a reformed NHS and care system. He urged that “we need to vote for a society organised to value every individual” because he is “sick of the partisan politics of self-interest”.

Again, the people listened intently, reflected, prayed and obeyed (in England, at least). The Liberal Democrats were routed: their parliamentary party could squeeze into a couple of black cabs. Labour has been crushed: some of the leading lights extinguished. George Galloway has been ousted (down but not out), and Katie Hopkins will not be leaving the country. David Cameron has triumphed, and so has Nicola Sturgeon. But only the former has power.

Quite a few bishops will be distraught. “Foodbanks are here to stay,” they mutter. Immigrants will continue to be demonised; the young deprived of hope; the NHS strangled and the poor dehumanised. They will not see that the people (of England, at least) have voted for an ordered moral field – Conservatism untainted by Liberalism and victorious over Socialism. Most bishops will not apprehend the social value of that political attitude or the integrity of that philosophy. But it is an illumination and an anticipation.

History still causes anxieties, and the future is unknown. But David Cameron is endowed with a vision of change which the ancients may once have called ‘wisdom’. It is stability, continuity, and incremental reform for the common good, consonant with national mores and traditions. The new moral vision is old wine. As we commemorate the 70th anniversary of VE Day, let us raise a glass and celebrate.

  • Linus

    Congratulations to David Cameron. A well-deserved victory and the best decision for the UK at a time when its options for long-term survival are limited.

    I suppose it isn’t up to me to crow on behalf of the British, but even so … Ukip! What a joke! All that Colonel Blimpish blustering was clearly designed to hide a severe case of erectile dysfunction. Even their leader looks like he’s failed to get it up. Gee thee down the pub, Nige. The English always find consolation in the bottom of a pint glass.

    • Mirabilis2000

      “The English always find consolation in the bottom of a pint glass.”

      Nice to encounter a bit of casual (but politically acceptable) racism first thing in the morning.!

      • Linus

        I’m half English myself. Hence the inside knowledge.

        Call it racism if you like. I call it “le binge-drinking” and leave it at that. Then I thank your imaginary god that English genes, at least the ones that bind to alcohol and hops, are recessive in the presence of strong and healthy Gallic telomeres, so I can walk past a pint of beer without being overcome by the urge to dive into it. One assumes that’s why you like your beer at room temperature…

        • Mirabilis2000

          “I’m half English myself.”

          That makes your racism even worse surely?

          If you loathe half of who/what you it must make one a bitter jumble of contradictions?

          • Linus

            Who said I loathe the English? I merely recognize them for what they are, warts and all.

            Britain is the binge-drinking capital of the world. There’s no denying that. A night out on any provincial high street is like a steeplechase, only in place of hedges and hurdles you have supine drunken bodies, or couples copulating in shop doorways and bus stops. The role of the water trap is played by the pools of vomit and urine that render the pavements so treacherous. Fall in one of those and you’re in trouble…

            I always wondered why the French luxury shoe industry was doing so well until I saw what happens to the average pair of Louboutins purchased in England. They’re like disposable consumer items that you buy, wear once, and then throw away once you’ve drunkenly stumbled along a high street and ended up ankle deep in the contents of several stomachs, and worse. The average French luxury shoemaker thanks God for the English. They’ve turned what for most Frenchwomen is an annual luxury purchase into the shoe equivalent of the weekly curry-‘n-chips.

            Of course the English have many wonderful qualities, most of which escape me right now, although if challenged I’m sure I could come up with a few. They’re certainly good at making sensible electoral choices, whereas the Scots are absolutely hopeless and quite frankly deserve to be colonized. But as the events of the next few days and weeks unfold, I’m sure a LOT of beer is going to be drunk and then regurgitated, as a LOT of shattered dreams are commiserated over. Remind me to steer clear of your country for a while. I just bought a new pair of sur-mesure Massaros and wouldn’t want to ruin them on their first outing abroad…

          • Hi Linus

            I’m glad you are taking the result well….

          • Linus

            Oh, I think Cameron’s great. By far the most effective, believable and sincere politician in Britain today. I think the British should be congratulated for making an eminently sensible electoral choice.

            Or perhaps I should say that the English have make an eminently sensible electoral choice. The Scots have let tribal resentment and sour grapes cloud their judgment to an almost absurd degree. This result really could signal the end of your Union, or at the very least a fracture in it so profound that it’s hard to see how divorce can be avoided.

            It’s such a pity. Watching one’s neighbours as their marriage breaks up is always cringe-inducing. We thought it was all resolved after the referendum, but no. The marital discord persists!

            It’s a pity there’s no international version of Relate we can send you to. Just think of the children! Poor Australia and New Zealand, and the English speaking part of Canada (but certainly not the French) might just go off the rails and take to drugs and antisocial behaviour like many adolescents whose parents break up. And it will be all your fault! Tsk, tsk, tsk! What would Jayzuz say?

          • Inspector General

            Be off, you mischievous bugger. There’s nothing for you here today…

          • CliveM

            A lot of beer drunk? Good idea, I’m off to the pub.

          • Uncle Brian

            Oh how kind of you, thanks Clive, mine’s a pint of Guinness.

          • sarky

            Make that two 🙂

          • CliveM

            Ok fine, I’ll get the first round in.

          • sarky

            Linus, three words:- ‘ waterproof shoe covers’ , gauranteed to protect the product of your ‘french cobblers’ from the greatest British pastime. Now, to find something to protect us from your ‘french cobblers’.

          • Linus

            Why wear decent shoes if you have to put shower caps over them? Is Britain like Saudi Arabia now, where Muslim ladies wear Lacroix under their burqas? Why waste the money?

            Hospital scrubs would be a better option for an average Friday night out in Britain.

          • sarky

            Can’t disagree!!!

          • Inspector General

            Greetings, queer fellow. Rather chipper today, aren’t you?

          • carl jacobs

            Someone isn’t happy today. He was clearly looking forward to twisting the knife and look what happens. All that pent-up schadenfreude and nowhere to express it. Cheap insults about drinking will not replace the anticipated joy he has been denied.

          • Inspector General

            Exactly. The country has taken a marked shift to the right. He’s taken it rather badly…

          • Linus

            All the Schadenfreude I need is to be found in the ignominious defeat of Ukip.

            I’m quite happy with a Conservative victory. It’s the best option all round for Britain, and carries the additional advantage of utterly humiliating all those Christian fascists who campaigned so hard to punish Cameron for equal marriage.

            The British electorate didn’t punish Cameron, it rewarded him. And now all you crazy far right-wing Christian reactionaries can see how little influence you have on public debate. All those cries of “Cameron out! Cameron out!” quite simply were neither heard nor heeded by the public at large.

            Such overwhelming evidence of your own irrelevancy and the utter collapse of your religion’s ability to influence voting patterns must be so very, very galling. And for me, it’s like all my liberal birthdays have come at once. There’s nothing like seeing your enemy utterly disavowed by a public that just does not support its aims and prejudices. It puts quite a spring in one’s step.

          • big

            Cant wait for the new Sacha Baron Cohen film Grimsby.

          • Anton

            “Britain is the binge-drinking capital of the world. There’s no denying that.”

            Try Russia.

        • Anton

          Because we like to taste it, and it tastes good. Ever tried French beer at room temperature?

    • Dreadnaught

      Yeah, 5 million without your input, decided differently and they still live here – away and sell your onions elsewhere.

  • Uncle Brian

    The single Scottish constituency that the Tories held on to is the one where, if I’m not mistaken, a certain extinct bird has its nest. Jack will be even happier than usual this morning. Pity about Ukip, though.

  • Old Blowers

    “BALLS OUT!!!!!!!!!!” oooh I say *Huge sniggers and chuckles*

    • CliveM

      Biggest cheer of the election!

      • Uncle Brian

        George Galloway out deserves a cheer as well.

        • CliveM

          Yes you’re right, he looked really sick at the result ROFL!

          • Pubcrawler

            And Galloway reported to the police as well

            http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-32638176

            Balls would have lost his seat at the last election if all the UKIP voters had voted Tory, so this is long overdue — and all the more delicious for it!

          • sarky

            Couldn’t have happened to a nicer ‘Norwich fan’.

          • Uncle Brian

            “He is said to have retweeted his party’s own exit poll before voting ended,” the BBC says. Did his party’s exit poll tell him he’d won the seat? The joke gets funnier all the time.

          • Pubcrawler

            They said on 5Live last night when it was first reported that the exit poll was lookng to be in his favour, yes. Perhaps the voters found his exit pollsters somewhat ‘intimidating’ and lied to them for a quiet life.

          • CliveM

            It was one of my favourite moments! Had to watch it on the phone at work. Lot of people watched it.

    • IanCad

      Even more for Ed Davey. Turn on the lights, dig more coal, drill more holes, jack up the thermostat.

  • Athanasius

    Privately, this is a dream result for the SNP, although of course, they couldn’t publicly admit such a thing. A pure English government which they cannot effect and which will not give one infinitesimal damn about Scotland, one which, at best, will treat that country with the same smug, ignorant, unconscious condescension shown in the very first sentence of Mr Thomas Cranmer’s post, is exactly what their long-term plans call for. In the wake of the referendum, the nationalists realized that they’d built the dream BEFORE they’d built the movement; they’ll be happy to let the English government – for that is what it is – build it for them. The EU referendum will be the key event of this parliament. I remain to be convinced that there IS an English majority in favour of withdrawal, the Torygraph and the Heil notwithstanding. If I’m wrong, however, and England attempts to drag Scotland out on the back of an English majority (as the SNP hopes it will) you may expect a second referendum, this time fuelled by pure outrage. The lies and threats of the last campaign wouldn’t work without the EU backing England and the Scots will separate. That’s the SNP dream. The nightmare scenario is if that referendum is denied. In that event, I don’t believe an insurgency similar to Northern Ireland is out of the question. It’s unlikely, but far from impossible. Unfortunately, as a people, the English just don’t learn.

    • bluedog

      ‘ In that event, I don’t believe an insurgency similar to Northern Ireland is out of the question.’

      Very astute and right on the money. It’s been some time since the IRA, the Red Brigade and their backers, more often than not the Soviet Union, put fear into the European elites. With very high youth unemployment there may be more than a few EU nations were the terrorists will not be Islamic but the broken-heartened native children of the secular orthodoxy, striking out in anger at the pointlessness of their lives. Whether they come from the left or the right is immaterial, the fire has fuel and oxygen, and just needs a match.

      In the case of the UK there is no doubt that the return of Cameron is in fact a disaster for the SNP, not a success. The SNP has talked up a referendum and independence riding as a parasite on the back of Labour, but the host body has failed, having been rejected by the British electorate, in part for its collusion with the SNP. This leaves the SNP cohort with nothing to do except be noisy, offensive and obstructive at Westminster. Importantly they are completely powerless. One would hope that at some point the more perceptive Scots will start to realise they have been led up a blind alley by the SNP, who are now unable to deliver on their promises. In short, this communicant believes we have just seen peak-SNP, and the only way now is down for Sturgeon and Salmond.

      Somewhere in Whitehall there will be strategic assessments on the critical role of Scotland in the defence of England. Cameron took a huge risk with the referendum last year, and it paid off, just. There is not the slightest chance of the SNP being given a second referendum, although they will undoubtedly arrange their own. That may lead to the termination of the Holyrood parliament, as permitted by the Scotland Act 1998. If SNP hotheads then start a terrorist campaign they will find that the British state is more than a match for them. For once the US will be on our side, unlike the situation with Ireland, where it turns out that even O’bama is actually Irish.

      • Athanasius

        “…strategic assessments on the critical role of Scotland in the defense of England”. Not Britain, not the UK, England. And my original post said nothing about the SNP leading an insurgency. When parties like the SNP are marginalized or ignored, as you are proposing, what happens next passes out of their hands, like the old Home Rule Party in Ireland. This is what I mean when I say the English just don’t learn.

        • William Lewis

          The SNP ignored? That’s risible. They have had well above their share of the limelight and come away with a lost referendum. They are now a minor party in the opposition of the United Kingdom Parliament and in charge of their own devolved parliament in Scotland. That is more than enough but if they can persuade the UK parliament that there should be another referendum (why?) and persuade the Scottish people that they are better off out, then that is up to them. The only thing that the English need to learn about all this is that the SNP represent only 8% of the UK population and the majority wish to remain in the UK.

        • well the difference is that unlike Ireland and home rule , Scotland has its own parliament , but the SNP blames the problems of Scotland on England. It seems that the SNP forgets it lost the “one in a generation” referendum last year.

          As the SNP itself said , legitimacy of government in the UK is inferred by the one who commands a majority in the house of commons. This concept didn’t bother the SNP, when it was hoping to put Miliband into power, against the wishes of the other parts of the UK. Furthermore the Scottish result , if taken as a prooxy of another referendum, would imply a 50-50 split. A very divided nation , if it were to be independent .

          Finally, the narrative of the oppressive English verses the braveheart Scottish is a false narrative. I reckon they’d be a significant proportion of English who’d like to see Scotland go as well. Why do you think the Westminster elite hasn’t contemplated a federal UK, with an English parliament ?

          • Linus

            Commanding a majority in the House of Commons doesn’t necessarily mean the seats have to belong to you. As long as they support your leadership and will vote for you, you have your majority and your democratic legitimacy.

            The British have this strange idea that the leader of the biggest party automatically becomes prime minister even if he can’t command a Commons majority. It just isn’t so. The only thing that counts is being able to muster enough votes in the House to get your legislation through.

            If Miliband had picked up enough seats in England to make up for his Scottish losses and the SNP had supported him, even if Cameron had ended up with more seats than Miliband, Miliband would now be prime minister. That’s the way it works.

          • Hi Linus

            Well quite. And in this case the conservatives won the majority. So the claims of the SNP about the legitimacy of this new government are entirely false (in a functioning democracy one accepts the results , rather than questioning the legitimacy of the government).

        • bluedog

          Yes, the hegemonial power in the British Isles is England. The challenge for the non-English is coming to terms with that fact, which remains the case whether or not the non-English are ‘independent’ or part of some polity that is inevitably dominated by the size of England relative to the rest. Lured by the false promises of the EU, the Scots have persuaded themselves that they can dispense with England. Thus the English national interest is to ensure firstly the construct known as the UK leaves the EU, and secondly, the EU collapses removing further threats. Juncker is right.

          Whether the British political elite are able to see things in these terms is unclear. But they need to. As a palliative measure to mollify the Scots and the increasingly restless English electorates, a federally reconstructed union remains the last chance before chauvinistically driven fragmentation of the UK. Properly handled, a federal UK could accommodate a re-united Ireland as well.

  • Anton

    Now the cuts begin. Let them please fall on policies that actively subsidise the consequences of (and thereby promote) sexual immorality.

    In the longer term the issues other than the economy are the Scotland question, the EU question and the rise of Islam. The Scots think they are better off without the English; I think they are wrong but they are entitled to their view and the English are certainly better off without 50 leftwing MPs at Westminster, so let them go some time in the future. Then we can hopefully be friends again. Continuing EU federalisation means that that issue isn’t going to go away either; UKIP must simply be careful not to peak too soon. And someday a British 9/11 might cause eyes to open and recognise that Islam is political and should be treated as such.

    The recovery of the heart of the Tory party has been delayed, however – perhaps to the nation’s advantage if it prevented a Labour government.

  • Politically__Incorrect

    A Tory victory is certainly preferable to a Labour one, so I am at least pleased about that. A “moral vision”? I think that is grossly overstating it YG. It’ll rake a lot to convince me of that given Cameron’s track record. What we can probably look forward to is a bit less liberalist political pap now they are out of the coalition

    Pity about UKIP’s number of seats. I understand they actually got more votes than the SNP. Sill, they have dramatically increased their share of the vote to over 4 million, and probably had something to do with the demise of Labour.

    • B flat

      A “moral vision”? I think that is grossly overstating it YG.

      Or not overstatement but a completely mistaken assessment. Cameron’s “moral vision” is the fulfilment of the evangelical figure of “the blind, leading the blind“.

  • IanCad

    Well, he’s our leader and as a Tory I must accept him. No chance of any leadership change at the present.
    Now; if he can get this referendum nonsense off the table that’ll be a good start.

  • Shadrach Fire

    “Again, the people listened intently, reflected, prayed and obeyed (in England, at least).” Did they?
    Cameron PM again. Now the buggers will really be rejoicing.
    A Conservative government is undoubtedly better than the others but!

    Did anyone see the video clip from Christian Concern on DC’s track record?
    http://www.christianconcern.com/…/david-cameron-in-his-own-…

    A time to emigrate I think before the lack of Morality sinks this island.

    • Uncle Brian

      If you’re thinking of moving to this part of the world*, drop me a line!
      *aka the world

      • Shadrach Fire

        Opportunities for Pentecostal evangelism then!

  • Owl

    It is a sad day when “the least bad” triumphs and is considered a success.
    Dave wouldn’t know a vision, moral or otherwise, if it hit him square in that broad forehead.
    We are now in for more of the same old, same old.
    The state of the Nation is, again, “oh dear, what will happen now”!

  • Inspector General

    A choice selection of defeated rotters and resigned scoundrels. An excellent clear out, what! Better than expectations…

    God save the Queen!

    • Hi inspector

      I was worried you’d have drunk so much you’d become ill or somethin, but thankfully you are able to post.

      • Inspector General

        Hannah, one has not been so buoyant since those drug runners were shot. One is in a state of cock-a-hoop, if you will…

        • bluedog

          But Inspector, UKIP was trashed and you’re celebrating! Or is it the demise of Labour that tickles your fancy?

          • Inspector General

            It’s the marked shift to the right, dear fellow. The days of Labour’s profligacy are over. Having said that, we could do with them electing another geek to be leader. A transgendered freak would do it…

          • bluedog

            Not sure how far to the right Cameron can move, Inspector. It promises to be a very interesting Cabinet, with BoJo as a member ex-officio. Remember Boris is driven by his DNA to see the Ottoman Turk safely within the EU.

            Resisting that distraction will be a full-time job as Dave tries to avoid the referendum in 2017. His conditional promise was always that a referendum will be held ‘if we have a majority’.

            Box ticked. Nowhere to hide, Dave

        • Cool.

    • CliveM

      Hmm I thought you liked Farage!

      Millibands was as ungracious as the man.

  • sarky

    UKIP get more votes than the lib dems/snp combined but only gets one seat? We really need to consider our political system. This election has left alot of people without representation. This wasn’t a victory for the tories, this was a victory for fear, fear of an snp/ labour coalition.
    On the plus, we should now get a referendum on the EU, (if Dave doesn’t squirm out of it), I just got the pleasure of watching that gurning fool milliband resign, Clegg has gone, that vile excuse for a human Galloway has gone. Hurts me to say, but will genuinely miss Farrage- at least he brought a bit of personality to the table.
    The next five years are going to hurt. The tories left to their own devices will cut to the point of ineffectiveness. There are a lot of people now in for a very hard time. Just hope I keep my health and my job, otherwise I dread to think what will happen.

    • dannybhoy

      UKIP took 12% of the vote. We have 45,000 party members. In my constituency our man came second despite the weakness and inexperience of our activists. I am very pleased with how UKIP performed, and I am pleased we escaped a Milibandian nightmare, and also pleased that the Conservatives got a clear victory this time around..

  • carl jacobs

    If Cameron follows through on his pledge to allow a referendum on Europe, he will gut UKIP like it was a dead fish. This election will be its high-water mark.

    • sarky

      Big ‘if’ !!!

    • CliveM

      I’m pleased with the result. BUT it’s going to difficult for Cameron to keep it together. Getting to a referrendum without a meltdown might be problematical.

    • Inspector General

      He called a possible referendum ‘Plan B’ the other day. Thinks he can negotiate with the Reich instead. Bloody idiot, seems to not fully understand how our European masters operate.

      • Owl

        Yes, it’s starting already.
        Why does anyone still believe this puppet!

    • dannybhoy

      It was UKIP that forced Cameron to reconsider a referendum, Yank..

      • carl jacobs

        Yes, that’s what protest parties do. And then the major parties figure out how to co-opt their issues. UKIP got 3 million protest votes in an election in which the Conservatives gained thirty seats. UKIP has nothing to show for it. All Cameron has to do is flank UKIP on Europe and immigration and UKIP is done.

        Can he accomplish that task? Good question.

        • Pubcrawler

          Much as Labout managed to quash the SNP by setting up the devolved Scottish Parliament, you mean?

          • carl jacobs

            Well, you also have to be politically competent. I didn’t say it was a sure thing. I just said the opportunity was available.

        • dannybhoy

          You need protest parties to shake things up. Our problem on the UK up until recently has been apathy. UKIP has given people a voice. People who previously were disengaged from politoics because they didn’t think it mattered. UKIP changed that, and has no intention of going away.
          We ned to grow, to mature, to get more competent people involved and root out the nuts and bigots. Let’s see how things develop before we talk about gutting anyone.
          The States seems to be progressing much further down that avenue than we do.

          • carl jacobs

            There hasn’t been a successful third party in the US since 1854. That’s when the Whigs collapsed over slavery and the Republicans emerged to replace them. The issue was too big for the Whigs to adapt. UKIP can survive if its two issues survive. The question is “Can the Conservatives figure out how to adapt such that those two issues are diffused?”

          • Hi Carl

            The answer is yes, because the British conservative party is immensely pragmatic, which is why it became more electorally successful as Britain extended the franchise .

          • dannybhoy

            Carl,
            If you look at the 2015 UKIP manifesto (which was the only independently costed and verified manifesto), you can glance at it here..

            http://www.ukip.org/manifesto2015

            you will see there was far more to it than those two issues. Granted, many of them were dependent on removing ourselves from the clutches of EUOAP(gmbh) and regaining control of our borders.
            UKIP wants to restore the independence of the UK, to re-establish the primacy of our culture, laws and values. We want to raise the standards of education, encourage more home grown professionalism and business enterprise.
            We believe our country can be great again without an empire and carve out a place and role for ourselves in the world. UKIP doesn’t want to be part of a failed experiment that might have started out aiming to be a United States of Europe, but is coming to resemble the USSR mark II..

    • Anton

      That is an acute comment. But it is a big IF.

  • God please help us.

    • Guglielmo Marinaro

      Help us to do what?

    • Linus

      You didn’t finish your sentence.

      Perhaps you meant to say “God, please help us … to recover the common sense we were born with and applaud the Conservative victory”?

      Or “God please help us … to stop indulging our paranoid delusions of imminent catastrophe and start living normal and productive lives”?

      How about “God please help us … to stop pathologizing our gay neigbours and treating them like scapegoats for every little thing we hate about the society in which we live”?

      The list of possible endings to your sentence is a long one, so I’ll just assume you meant to say all three of my above suggestions and thank you for your sensible and conciliatory attitude.

      *Linus grins like a pre-election Farage after his tenth pint*

  • Linus

    Farage quits!!!

    Mine cup runneth over…

    Ah well, said Linus, wiping his eyes and shakily recovering his balance after such a monumental Schadenfreudegasm that he doubts he’ll ever see its like again, that’s two down. One to go. Jamais deux sans trois …

    • dannybhoy

      It was a good result overall. Nigel quits but I would guess the party will want him to be fully engaged in shaping the party. Personally I think he took his eye off the ball prior to the election and allowed himself to become a ‘celeb’ rather than a leader.
      That said, he broke open the cosy twosome and Libdem ‘hanger on’ at Westminster, and he gave ordinary people from all parties a voice. That wouldn’t have happened without Nigel and UKIP.
      We still need to escape from the dead hand of Brussels. Europe is drowning in bureaucracy and unaccountable political nonentities, dominated by a country that has been responsible for two world wars. Tradewise the rest of the world beckons, and we could form a dynamic and democratic trading bloc which nations of our Commonwealth might wish to join.
      Our future never was and never will be with Europe.

      • Linus

        You lost the election and with “Comeback Cameron” campaigning for the UK to stay in Europe, I can’t see a referendum taking you out. The same dynamic that swayed the Scottish independence vote in favour of the status quo will come into play on the national level, especially if the economy continues to perform so well.

        If Cameron is promising a referendum it means he’s very, very confident of winning it. But the problem with Ukip supporters and other Euroskeptics is that they cannot see this. Their personality types prevent them from even acknowledging that other people might not think like them. The proof of this is to be found in last night’s election results. No sweeping Ukip. Just the usual 10-15% of extremists and nutters who think that everyone thinks what they think when in fact, nobody does.

        I’m confident this election result guarantees that Britain (or England and Scotland, with whatever new accession treaties are necessary) will remain in the EU for the foreseeable future. Only blinkered and dogmatic Ukippers could take ignominious defeat and turn it into a vision of glorious victory when their support base is so very small.

        • dannybhoy

          “Their personality types prevent them from even acknowledging that other people might not think like them.”
          That’s a stoopid sentence Linus.
          The EU (apart from Germany) is full of frightened, geriatric ‘has beens’ (or ‘never were’s’), busy protecting themselves, their pensions and perks.
          The EU accounts have never been signed off because of all the corruption, swindling and backhanders common on the continent.
          It’s also part of the reason the EU is so ineffectual on the world stage with Russian running rings around you.
          If anyone typifies the personality types that assumes the rest of the world thinks like them they’re to be found in Europe, not the UK.

        • Anton

          Those who confidently predict the future in politics tend to suffer nemesis for their hubris.

        • big

          Dunkerque.Every Englishman needs a pyrrhic victory.

        • alternative_perspective

          You’re probably quite right but then it wouldn’t be the first time a people’s willing subjugation has been bought with bread and circuses.

          Seriously, you seem to be quite an unpleasant chap. I don’t believe you have managed to hold one cordial discussion with any poster to these boards – though perhaps I exaggerate.

          You flaunt around these comments pages with a faux air of intellectual superiority but you haven’t a single argument to commend to us; you establish your opinions with ad hominem attacks on those you disagree with and attempt to convince yourself of your victory with caustic little remarks – which are quite frankly getting a little boring.

          Originally I got quite worked up by your vanilla rants but I’ve come to see them as little more than a predictable and unfortunately repetitive modus operandi.

          Would it not be possible for you to attempt a discussion with a degree of courtesy, or is that too much to ask from your ilk?

        • bockerglory

          But …. they did get 12.8% of the vote which is more than SNP. Most people voted Tory as the “least worst option”. Most people know that a politician won’t have an agenda that 100% matches their own agendas – this is a childish assumption. This is why the pollster were wrong. The key is that UKIP provides a democratic voice to people who (shock!) may disagree with you. In some countries only violence reigns. The fact that we have more minority parties shows that the UK is prepared to use the ballot box – although not perfect it is a better option than the violence we see in other countries.

    • Hi Linus

      Bizarrely farage has resigned, but he said he’s taking a break to decide whether or not to re stand for the UKIP leadership.

      • Linus

        I suppose it makes sense. All that talk about Britain’s “Judaeo-Christian heritage” was bound to go to his head. He thinks he’s the new messiah, doesn’t he? Sacrificed by a baying mob only to be resurrected after a weekend break in heaven, or Bognor Regis, or wherever he’s planning on taking his summer holiday.

        Let’s see, eh? Personality cults have a way of backfiring on the personality that invented them when he doesn’t deliver the goods. Christianity dealt with it by inventing a resurrection, but Ukipism has the disadvantage of existing in a skeptical media age when a couple of lines of fiction no longer cut it as evidence of anything but an attempt to deceive.

        • dannybhoy

          “All that talk about Britain’s “Judaeo-Christian heritage” was bound to go to his head. He thinks he’s the new messiah, doesn’t he?”
          More rubbish Linus.
          Nigel did a good job of shaking us out of the apathy brought on by generations of politicians of both parties who took the electorate for granted, throwing goodies out at election time to keep us pacified.
          It started around about 1971 when we joined the then EEC, had our fishing grounds taken away and worked hard to subsidise the terrible Common Agricultural Policy..

          • big

            I remember Thatchers campaign for the yes vote, she had the most ghastly jumper .google thatcher yes 1975 image.

        • alternative_perspective

          Please explain the post-mortem appearances of Jesus. The fact the Jewish and Roman authorities couldn’t present the body. That all bar one of apostles went to their graves a martyr – one doesn’t do that for a lie one fabricated, the emergence of the early Christian church. And; that women were reported to have been the first witnesses – in a society that held little value for female testimony.

          It would be quite nice if you could do that with one reasonable theory rather than an ad hoc collection of many random and usually implausible explanations.

          Christianity has one theory which explains the evidence very nicely and which also dove-tales beautifully with Jewish prophetic scripture, you know its name and you scoff at it from a position of intellectual poverty.

          • Linus

            The post-mortem appearance of Jesus? A made-up story.

            The fact that the authorities couldn’t present a body? Another made-up story.

            All the apostles bar one went to their graves a martyr? Where’s your proof? You have none, except what you’ve read in your made-up story.

            Women witnesses? Perhaps a little bit of colour added into the made-up story to differentiate it from all the other made-up stories about gods and prophets that were circulating around the Middle East at the time.

            Atheism has one theory, which is the only one that fits the evidence, of which there is precisely none once we’ve dismissed all the magic tricks and implausible miracles that Christians believe in with such faith even though nobody alive has ever seen anything similar happen, let alone recorded it. The Atheist theory states that the New Testament and the events in it are fictional, or at the very best, a highly romanticized version of an everyday story of religious mania that ended in tragedy, with no virgin birth, and no resurrection and no son of God.

            We have no evidence that anyone has ever come back from the dead. We have no evidence that any woman has ever given birth to a child without her ovum being fertilized by human sperm. We have no evidence that pigs have ever been possessed by demons, or that demons even exist. Neither do we have any evidence that it’s possible to transform water into wine or change any substance into another merely by waving your hand over it and willing it to be so. The only account of such improbable events is to be found in a story written 2000 years ago by religious zealots determined to convert everyone to their faith. Suspicious, or what?

            Religious zeal is a psychological disorder that can provoke delusions and severely self-destructive behaviour. Go to the Philippines and witness some of their religious festivals where participants flagellate themselves in public and you’ll see what I mean. This kind of behaviour used to be widespread in Christianity, as did martyrdom. And all for a made-up story.

            Other religions have their made-up stories too. Scientologists believe that millions of people were murdered by the evil emperor Xenu around our Earth volcanoes many years ago and that their ghosts inhabit our bodies. Just because they’ve written this made-up story down, does that make it true?

            The only thing that can demonstrate the truth of the Bible is for the events it recounts to be backed up by solid evidence. That means multiple independent witness statements all saying the same thing from sources not dependent on the early Church, i.e. civil records, inscriptions, archaeological evidence, coins stamped with effigies, references to the events in the records of other cultures. NONE of this exists for the Christian story, apart from one inscription bearing the name of one of the minor characters in the story, with no indication that any of the others mentioned ever existed.

            We quite simply have NO EVIDENCE that the Christian narrative is anything but a made-up story. Indeed all the evidence we do have (i.e. that death is permanent, that human parthenogenesis does not happen, etc, etc) all points to the fictional nature of the events recounted in the Bible. Until convincing evidence can be produced, Christianity remains a fairy story concocted by a bunch of religious zealots lost in some kind of delusion or fantasy.

  • Anton

    With an absolute majority permitting the Tories to make the rebalancing
    changes to constituency boundaries denied them by the LibDems in the Coalition,
    and with the inevitable removal of voting on English matters (at least) from
    more than 50 hostile Scottish MPs, England is set to be governed by the
    Conservatives indefinitely.

    The trouble is that they aren’t conservative any more.

  • God please help us get through another five years being governed by the
    Conservative party: a bunch of vision-less, nasty, lying, immoral
    spivs.

    60% of the vote did not go to the Conservatives.

    • Politically__Incorrect

      “60% of the vote did not go to the Conservatives”
      Also, UKIP got more votes than the SNP but only one seat. That’s the result of our skewed voting system – Disproportionate Misrepresentation

      • IanCad

        “Disproportionate Misrepresentation”
        If that’s an original my hat’s off to you.

        • Politically__Incorrect

          It’s an original, but no need to take your hat off please

      • bluedog

        The answer is to remove the gerrymander that favours Scotland. For example, the Scottish constituency formerly called Western Isles has 25,000 enrolled. Compare this to the Isle of Wight with 100,000.

        One questions whether 25,000 mendicants should have four times the voting power of 100,000 tax-payers.

  • Politically__Incorrect

    Looking ahead, I wonder what this result means for the future of the Union. Given the SNP’s loathing of the Tories, it seems to me that separation is more likely now, and Cameron is going to have his work cut out keeping Scotland on board. The antagonism is likely to grow to fever pitch. Would Westminster permit another referendum next year? If they don’t, could the Scots go ahead anyway? This could all get very messy. Meanwhile, is Cameron going to continue with his liberal agenda on gender, abortion, childcare and sexuality that has done so much to devalue marriage and the family?

    • Federalism is as far as it’ll go. Most Scots wanted to “two -finger” London. They don’t want to leave the UK.

      • CliveM

        HJ

        I hope you’re right. Anyway I see David Mundell kept his seat.

      • Uncle Brian

        Federalism can never work in a country where one unit — in this case England — is bigger than all the others put together. Remember the Soviet Union and its 15 constituent “republics”? Well then.

        • You’re assuming England wont go regional – Cornwall, for example, wants its own assembly.

          • Uncle Brian

            Have they been told how much it costs to operate an assembly?

          • Jack doubts it …

        • bluedog

          So what would work? The old unitary state was coming under pressure from Scottish nationalism, the current model is a Band-Aid job, where next?

  • carl jacobs

    Anyways. It seems that Cameron’s strategy of hanging Mistress Surgeon, Dominatrix of the North, around Milliband’s neck has been vindicated.

    • How terribly sexist … even misogynistic.

      • carl jacobs

        What?

  • Anton

    Britain “votes for a new moral vision”, Your Grace? Hasn’t it voted for the exactly same moral vision which has been enacted in the last 5 years?

    • Politically__Incorrect

      If Dave regards the past five years as “vision”, then all I can say is “should have gone to Specsavers”

      • IanCad

        You’re in top form today.

    • Coniston

      David Cameron = Moral Vision??? A perfect example of an oxymoron.

  • Shadrach Fire

    We need a group of moral, Christian, Conservative backbenchers to form a group that would challenge Cameron when he goes on his narcissus escapades.

    • skeetstar

      The new mp for St Austell is a born again christian. Dunno about any of the rest of the new intake.

  • Shadrach Fire

    This is Cameron!
    His prayer was quickly answered, when Narcisus fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool. Gazing endlessly at the reflection, he slowly pined away and was transformed by the nymphs into a narcissus flower.

    The sooner the better I say.

  • Inspector General

    Despite this joyous occasion, the Inspector has cause to grab Cameron by the ear and warn him his every anti social move will be monitored. No more pandering to Big Gay, for example. There are no damn votes to be grubbed from that crowd anyway.

    Having left the Conservative tent, one still stands close outside it, ready to piss in, if pissing in is what is required…

    • Politically__Incorrect

      It must be a pleasure to go camping with you Inspector.

      • dannybhoy

        The Inspector goes everywhere with his wellies on…

    • dav phi

      I’ve always felt very insecure pissing out

  • CliveM

    My one disappointment is that the Greens, politics fruit loops, still have a MP. Brighton seems a good place to avoid.

    • Inspector General

      The good news is that the country still gets to eat meat. By the way, it was thought the sods were up to take another. Anyone know where it was?

      • CliveM

        Bristol West. Close shave!

        • Inspector General

          Good grief! nice area, but is very much flats with ‘right on’ couples with no children…

          • CliveM

            Well I think we should be thankful they aren’t breeding. Their inevitable extinction will undoubtedly help save the planet.

          • Politically__Incorrect

            Indeed, I hear they make good compost. Perfect for your bedding plants.

      • Plenty of meat and two veg. available in Brighton.

    • Linus

      Brighton is fun! Very diverse. Everything a Ukipper hates and all the more endearing for that.

      When I lived in the UK, I was vaguely seeing a very vague Englishman who was lovely apart from his small pony tail and tendency to embrace any and every Californian pop psychology fad.

      We once spent a weekend in Brighton, where he was attending a Men’s Experiential Encounter and Masculine Sharing Seminar (all perfectly innocent), with Vegan Buffet. I tagged along for a laugh, and did. Quite a lot.

      A stragglier bunch of hirsute hippies and drug-hazed wombles was never gathered together before in one single place in the British Isles, possibly even Western Europe. Most of them were Greens and, despite being a few turnips short of an organic greengrocer’s cart, they were lovely people. Very welcoming. And despite the truly appalling food, I had a very jolly time. It’s possible the hummus was spiked, of course. I suppose I’ll never know…

      All Ukippers should spend a weekend in Brighton, if only to see how utterly harmless and completely mad the Greens really are. It might calm them down a bit…

      • CliveM

        Frankly I’ll take your word for it. But a vegan w/e of masculine whatever is about the least appealing that I have ever heard of.

        • Inspector General

          Think the description relates to what we used to know as a homosexual orgy. That Linus found it ‘innocent’ is hardly reassuring…

          • Linus

            What a septic tank of a mind you have, you vicious old tale-bearer and purveyor of false witness. And here we see the true nature of religion. Smear your opponents, spread false rumors about them and then claim to be a devout follower of the One True God.

            Pull the other one! You serve only one master. He’s just as imaginary as the other one of course, but your devotion to him is clear enough.

          • Inspector General

            Forgot to get a dig in at their drug addled degeneration. Able to squeeze it in, are you?

          • Linus

            Who said anything about degeneration? I merely observed they were a bunch of out-there but likable hippies. You’re the one who has to couch everything in terms of “normal” and “degenerate”, because that’s how you see the world and judge everything in it. If it’s like you, it’s “normal”. If it’s different, it’s “degenerate”.

            One often sees homeless people on the streets who stink to high heaven, and one wonders how they stand their own stench. Of course they’re so used to it, they’ve become selectively incapable of smelling it any more. And thus is the Inspector. So mired in his own moral cess pool that he can no longer sense his own decay.

          • Inspector General

            ‘drug-hazed’ wasn’t it? Well, you wouldn’t know, but in polite circles, that is deprecated. You see, you need to consider from a parents point of view, as opposed to your own self indulgent bent. Normal people don’t want their children doing drugs. They just don’t. So there.

      • dannybhoy

        I don’t much like Brighton..
        Kinda seedy in places.

        • dav phi

          Muck under every shirt tail

        • Inspector General

          The people are seedy there…

          • dannybhoy

            There are some good Christian congregations in Brighton I know.
            One has to ask why being free and open usually means accepting and approving that which is often seedy and sordid…

          • Because being “free and open” means one tends to rejects objective moral boundaries. It’s a cynical phrase.

      • “I was vaguely seeing a very vague Englishman … We once spent a weekend in Brighton …”
        Separate rooms, one hopes, Linus. Dirty weekends in Brighton doesn’t seem quite your style. Did his pony tail survive?

        • Linus

          Wouldn’t you like to know? Sorry, prurient old bigot. I’m not here to satisfy your curiosity about my sex life.

          • Yuk …. rhetorical questions, Linus.

          • Linus

            Ho ho! Nothing rhetorical about them. One can almost hear you panting down your Internet connection, you lascivious old onanist. I realize your days of man-on-man action – indeed any action whatsoever – are long gone. But a word of advice: when there’s no rigidity left at all, pulling on it too hard and for too long can result in serious injury.

          • Linus, never you mind about Jack’s intimate life. Such musing will encourage impure thoughts and you have a ‘wedding’ approaching. Will you be ‘honey mooning’ in Brighton? Or, perhaps, Blackpool? It seems you have a tendency to judge others by your own measuring rod, so to speak.

      • Anton

        You have no sense of hummus.

  • Inspector General

    Just heard that awful woman Lynne Featherstone lost her seat…

    Deep joy!

    • Politically__Incorrect

      That’s made my day. I wrote to that awful woman when, as equalities minister, she was proposing the destruction of marriage act. Never got a reply from her.

    • dav phi

      O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’
      He chortled in his joy.

      • Inspector General

        Yes he was good. “Are you sitting comfortobode four square on your botty”

  • DanJ0

    Well, the Great British Public certainly gave David Cameron and his cronies a bloody nose over same sex marriage not being in the manifesto. That’ll teach the cockwomble a thing or two about crossing the Christian electorate, and no mistake!

    • Inspector General

      Rather pales into insignificance when you realise the Labour party can never again form a majority government in its own right.

      • Anton

        Except that Conservative 2015 = Labour circa 1993.

    • dannybhoy

      DanJ0
      did you mean that most people are not bothered by same sex marriage?

      • I assume that DanJO is saying that the greater mass of the voting public gave little no weight to SSM when they came to cast their vote. As, presumably, Slippery Dave calculated.

        Apparently rightly. Opinions on the significance of this will vary.

        • dannybhoy

          Well that’s what I thought too.
          If one accepts the concept that we are first and foremost Christians and secondly citizens in a secular society, then we disagree with and condemn the concept, but accept that our civil leadership has allowed it.
          The real test for us as Christians will be if pressure or persuasion is brought to bear to accept it in churches.
          Which of course we must then resist with vigour.

      • DanJ0

        There are multiple aspects to my sarcasm up there. There’s often been dire predictions that Cameron and the Tories would suffer electorally because of bringing in same-sex marriage, or claims that they should suffer for it along with appeals to make that suffering happens. The outrage about same-sex marriage legislation not being in the manifestos of either party in the coalition, and therefore their being no mandate for creating legislation, has been de-toothed by the fact that the electorate hasn’t punished the government when given the opportunity through the democratic process. There’s also an indication there of just how valid the oft-repeated claim of a Christian citizenry based on self-identifying as Christian on the census form actually is in reality.

    • sarky

      Cockwomble!! Lol 🙂

  • preacher

    Politically_ Incorrect scored with his earlier comment. basically, the dice were loaded from the start.
    For years the major parties have won elections with a system that was not a level playing field but more like a Ski Run. It’s a system that favours the Big Two parties & always will, on percentage of votes, UKIP was the third main party. How many seats ? One !. Ridiculous !.
    The electoral system in this country Must be reformed before the electorate will be enabled to have a voice. But with the Ace up their sleeves I can’t see either the Conservative or Labour parties changing it.
    It just shows what a farce & a game politics in the U.K has become.
    My counsel to all those disappointed UKIP voters is don’t throw in the towel. Your votes were not wasted. they showed up the flaws in the system like an ink stain on a White shirt.
    Now let’s do something about it, Lobby your M.P’s, petition the Prime Minister raise questions in Parliament. Because until the system is fair, We & our Children are stuck with the current two ring circus. It’s worth a try at least, remember that “Call me Dave” loves to be shown as the friend of the minorities.

    • Dominic Stockford

      But what possible change will not prevent independent candidates standing and having a chance of winning?

      This not only removes them from the equation, but hands power to the current parties and those with money.

  • Well dudes

    Against expectations , we have a conservative majority , Labour thrashed and the SNP with no power. Added bonus, is that George Galloway and David ward lost their seats…. I shall be celebrating tonight.

    Shabbat shalom!

    • Don’t underestimate the Scottish vixen and her 55 crew

    • dannybhoy

      Shabbat Shalom indeed Shmu’el..

  • CliveM

    It was Millibands belief that he could drive through 1970’s style left wing policies on 35% of the vote. It was his strategy and he was wrong. Thankfully. But what is the lesson for Labour and The Unions? Well don’t go for the second rater simply because you can buy his compliance.

    • Inspector General

      VAT at 20%, Petrol duty, Excise duty, Income tax, National Insurance, Community charge, food, heating and accommodation charges. Water bills, electric bills, gas bills, phone bills, TV licence.

      One thinks that does of us who DO, are rather sick and tired of paying for those who DON’T, or WILL NOT or CAN’T BE BOTHERED.

      • Inspector General

        Now he’s got his majority, perhaps Cameron would like to consider privatising the benefits gravy train. Hand it over to a private concern. If they make 5% savings on the current budget, they can keep that as profit.

        Remember, the honest and genuine claimant will have NOTHING TO FEAR. As for the free riders, well, now ‘they build railway too!’

        • Anton

          Some fool bishop talked a while ago about the insidiousness of the distinction between the deserving poor and the undeserving poor. That distinction is EXACTLY what we need to make.

          • The distinction is Scriptural. Its not difficult-widows, orphans and disabled are deserving, drunkards, idlers and spendthrifts aren’t. The economic wisdom in the Book of Proverbs accords with common sense.

      • CliveM

        Agreed. I’m not rich but I pay 50% of my income on various taxes. I’ve done my bit.

      • avi barzel

        Grumble, grumble…it’s make the rich pay, Inspector. You’re rich if you have job. And if you water at your Mouse and Wheel, you have job.

        Anyhow, sorry you didn’t see your UKIP win. I didn’t get to see Bennet’s Jewish Home win either, but it could it have been worse in both cases. Much, much worse.

        • Inspector General

          My dear Avi. It is not without great inconvenience the Inspector has a job. Getting out of his warm bed at an unearthly hour in the cold of winter to go to it, for example….

          • avi barzel

            Take cheer, it’s Summer. Birds chirping and plenty of panhandlers on your walk to work to honour you with the opportunity to give charity. At least here it’s Summer. We don’t do spring in Ontario; gloves and parka last Friday, airconditioner on max all day today!

            Ok, kids, time to make the Sabbath chiCken. Congrats to all you Tories and you Kippers, remember it could’ve been worse. It can always be worse.

          • Inspector General

            We don’t always get a summer, you know. Some years the wet spring drags on into autumn…

          • Anton

            It’s called the cricket season.

        • Always keep a hold of Nurse
          For fear of finding something worse.

  • Politically__Incorrect

    Does anybody know what happened to the Green’s ” quiet revolution”? I wondered if it was so quiet that everybody had missed it. Meanwhile, while other party leaders are falling on their swords, Natalie Bennett has not yet fallen on her jostick. Is this stubbortn defiance in the face of pressure or has she forgotten she is party leader again?

    • dannybhoy

      She’s got another cold.
      Been some chill winds around the last few days..

      • Pubcrawler

        That’ll be all the global warmng

        • avi barzel

          Keep with the times, will ya; it’s” climate change” now. The perfect jargon with the flexibility to accommodate the mini ice age we’re probably slipping into for the next couple of decades. CO2 and cattle farts are at fault for that too. Somehow.

          • dannybhoy

            And trucks..
            smelly diesel trucks Avi…

          • avi barzel

            Diesel? Evil, filthy stuff. Mine runs on pixie dust and unicorn farts, with a calculator battery as a backup. Really.

          • Pubcrawler

            I’m not minded to let the Greenie weirdies control the discourse. Let them be hoist by their own petard.

        • dannybhoy

          very good!

      • sarky

        Did they change when she was making a face?

  • Dominic Stockford

    Having finally woken up enough to be able to type, and recovered from watching winner and loser with tears in their eye as we stood on the stage as our result was announced, just a thought on this.

    Peter Hitchens wrote well on this on his blog today. None of the major parties are of any Christian benefit to this country. Its just a question of how fast everything falls apart.

    • Anton

      Christianity is necessary for individual salvation, but nations can rise and fall with no heed of the Bible as ancient Greece, Rome and Persia show, to name but a few. The key factor is family (in)stability, as JD Unwin showed (Sex and Culture, 1934).So you are right that we are heading fast down the road to oblivion. I very much doubt that it can be reversed at the ballot box but a financial crash that puts an end to the subsidy of sloth and of the fruits of sexual immorality might help. Painful but better than the alternative.

    • Linus

      A truly sobering night for the Christian Party, I see. A grand total of 3,205 votes across the whole of the UK. That’s less that 0.01% of the votes cast. Not even a hundredth of 1 percent of British citizens politically motivated enough to vote…

      I suppose that’s not quite true and of course, I must not tell a lie. The Christian People’s Alliance (splitters!) did better than you on the night with a relatively stellar score of 3,260 votes. But it still wasn’t brilliant, was it? Of course it doesn’t matter, because they’re not real Christians, are they? They maintain that thirteen angels can dance on the head of a pin, whereas all true believers know there’s only room for twelve, so you can’t count their support as part of the Christian vote.

      But still, they do label themselves as Christians, and it isn’t up to the rest of the world to decide who does or doesn’t deserve that label. So we have to accept them as being what they say they are.

      In the interests of truth and accuracy therefore, I will err on the side of inclusivity and tolerance and state that less than 2 hundredths of one percent of the British electorate voted for Christ on Thursday.

      And I’m surprised it was that many…

      In comparison it may be interesting to note that both the Monster Raving Loony Party and the Cannabis Is Safer Than Alcohol Party did rather better than any specifically Christian political movement. I wonder what that says about the sensibilities of the British voter?

      And what of your own individual score in the great constituency of Twickenham? You did better than the national average. 174 votes or 0.3% of the votes cast. And you didn’t come last! Some other nutter had that privilege…

      Shame about the deposit though. That’s £500 you’ll never see again. Although, considering that most of the 174 probably attend your church, you could always arrange for a whip-round next Sunday to try and recoup your losses. I calculate that if each constituent who voted for you gives just £2.87, you’ll be in the clear. And being as most of them probably won’t have the exact change and will round up their contribution to £3, you might even make a small profit!

      I’m not familiar with the UK consumer price index, but I should imagine that £22.62 would buy you at least a couple of pints of warm beer and bag of pork scratchings. A fitting way to celebrate the end of your political career. Or have you been so inspired by Cameron that you’re planning a comeback in 2020? Perhaps Christ has deferred your miracle until then and, by his grace, you’ll defy all predictions and take Twickenham by storm.

      • Inspector General

        Still grieving Linus? That’s it son, let all the poison out…

        • Linus

          No, I’m celebrating, o evil one!

          Cameron remains in power, those muppets Miliband and Farage are out on their ears, and the Scots are poised to make life very interesting over the next few months and years, and provide me with ample scope for political satire and taking the Mick.

          Honestly, I don’t see how the result could have suited me better. Yes, I would have enjoyed making Milipede jokes, but the intense Schadenfreude that a Labour victory might have provided would have been tinged with real sadness at seeing a family member make the same Stalinist mistakes my own country has made in recent years. This way I get to laugh at the British without feeling guilty about mocking people less well off than me.

          • Inspector General

            The Inspector is celebrating too. Having seen off Clegg’s quislings, the UK government may now go to Brussels and smash the place up…

          • Linus

            The operative word being “May”.

            Isn’t she Home Secretary? Brussels isn’t part of her remit.

            But in any case, we’ll see how this referendum goes, shall we? I know you’ll vote for Britain to leave the EU. But you and the other 12.5% of British voters who want out don’t form a majority.

            When you lose, you could take a leaf out of Ms Sturgeon’s book and attempt secession. Take the ferry over to Cowes and annex the Isle of Wight and declare it to be the new United Kingdom of We Hate Europe!

          • The Explorer

            Linus old mayfly,
            Remember your predictions about the outcome of this election? I do. In the light of which, I’d be wary about the outcome of the Referendum if I were you. Prophecy just isn’t your strong suit, old chap. Leave that to us Christians.

          • Linus

            Hello again old bigot.

            I made no predictions about the election. I merely quoted press speculation, and always prefaced my remarks with an “if”.

            On the subject of an EU referendum however, I’m prepared to be more forthcoming. I confidently predict that the UK will narrowly vote to stay in. Most politicians want it. Virtually all businesses want it. And as we all know, what business wants in the UK, business gets. This election is proof enough of that.

            You’ll be weeping into your pint glass when the UK electorate disavows not only your Ukip candidates, but also their policies. Will you then realize how completely out of step you are with your own era and mend your ways? Or is that too much to ask of an old dinosaur whose capacity to evolve to the changing world around him was never going to be very great?

            When they dig up your bones a few millennia hence, put you in a glass case and label you “Homo rigidis old-fartius”, I suppose at least future generations of three-parent schoolchildren hatched from their loving fathers’ portable birthing pods will be able to look and learn what happens to creatures that absolutely refuse to adapt. Extinction…

          • The Explorer

            Have I understood your last paragraph correctly? It’s only my inability to adapt that will keep me from being alive a few millennia hence?

        • dannybhoy

          “U.K. stocks and the British pound rallied Friday, with financial markets cheering election results showing David Cameron’s Conservative Party will remain in power in the U.K. parliament.”

          http://www.marketwatch.com/story/ftse-100-pound-leap-with-conservatives-on-track-for-election-win-2015-05-08

          Something that Monsieur Hollande can only dream about..

          “It was in these terms that Le Figaro, perhaps the most influential French newspaper, reported the European Commission’s near-certain rejection of President Francois Hollande’s 2015 budget on Oct. 29th…”

          http://blogs.reuters.com/anatole-kaletsky/2014/10/10/an-atomic-bomb-is-hovering-over-frances-economy/

          “Bonjour Tristesse: The Economic and Political Decline of France..”

          http://www.spiegel.de/international/europe/economic-decline-in-france-the-failed-leadership-of-hollande-a-903732.html

          Read them and weep, French boy…

          • Linus

            I’m the first to admit that the current French government is a disaster and is causing grievous economic harm to my country. But I don’t weep over fluctuations in the GDP. At the end of the day, it’s only filthy lucre. I thought Christians weren’t supposed to care about that sort of thing?

            But I see you’re rather more motivated by fiscal considerations than I am. One therefore assumes you count your own self-worth in terms of your bank balance. Poor you. I see the Blair years have left their imprint on all the British, Labour voters or not.

          • dannybhoy

            Oh!
            What’s this?
            Gallic gloating gives way to Parisian pouting?
            A flounce of that french skirt as you suddenly realise that the marée d’excréments économique is rising ever higher…

            ” thought Christians weren’t supposed to care about that sort of thing?”

            Why did you think that?

            If a Christian can’t manage his finances, how will he/she have anything to share with those more needy?

            Here is some proof of that economic truth..

            “Official development assistance by country in absolute terms in 2013”

            1) United States – $31.55 billion

            2) United Kingdom – $17.88 billion

            3) Germany – $14.06 billion

            4) Japan – $11.79 billion

            5) France – $11.38 billion

            See that Linus?
            The UK $17.88 billion, and France a miserable $11.38billion….

            But then if your economy is becoming a bureaucratic basket case perhaps that’s understandable..

          • CliveM

            We’re generous to a fault.

          • bluedog

            Of course, none of it is borrowed money either.

          • dannybhoy

            Sssshhh!

          • bluedog

            Actually with the emergence of QE as a critically important tool of economic management (unaccountable to the Parliament too), there is no need to borrow money.
            Just print it.

          • dannybhoy

            That’s what I do to supplement our pensions…

          • Linus

            “Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.” Matt. 6:1

            See you in hell, old hypocrite. All that charity will not avail you if all you can do is boast about it. The vulgarity of the English knows no bounds.

          • dannybhoy

            Vulgarity is it now?
            My goodness Linus, this smacks of desperation on your part..

          • Linus

            Observation, not desperation … although I did edit my comment before you replied to it, but the accusation of vulgarity still stands.

            Boasting about how much you give to the poor is the preserve of vulgar nouveaux riches. It’s also profoundly unChristian. But of course in attacking an Atheist, Christians aren’t enjoined to respect their own beliefs and morals. No, anything goes as long as they can score a point.

            Like I said, you’re an old hypocrite. If there were a hell for you to rot in, some may see that as justice. Personally the idea that you’ll simply cease to exist like everyone else is enough for me.

          • dannybhoy

            You’re a- making oi larff, Linus.
            I point out a fiscal fact and you want me to rot in hell, but that won’t work cos you don’t believe in hell.. so you have to wish me the same fate as you wish for yourself…
            Interesting.

          • Linus

            You were boasting about how generous your country is compared to mine.

            Christians aren’t supposed to boast about their good works. The Bible specifically tells you that God hates that. And yet you don’t care. All you care about is scoring a point over me. That tells me everything I need to know about the authenticity of your faith. You’re a total fraud, one of the worst ambassadors of Christianity I’ve ever come across. It’s all “do as I say, but not as I do” with you, isn’t it? What a monumental hypocrite!

            But no matter, I’m used to this kind of behaviour from Christians by now, although yours is pretty extreme. I could be like a typical Christian and wish you would burn in hell, but wishes aren’t magic and they don’t come true just because I might wish them to. I can’t wish you anything except oblivion, because oblivion is what awaits us all, so no matter how loathsomely you might act in life, in death there will be no retribution. And no reward. Just nothing.

            Sometimes I think this is the most frightening prospect of all for Christians, although I can’t think why. One would think that after a lifetime of lying and betraying the principles they claim to live by, they’d welcome oblivion. Or do you honestly think that unrepentant hypocrisy is some kind of passport to paradise?

            Go figure…

          • dannybhoy

            Linus,
            You are making yourself look ridiculous.
            You cannot cope with any criticism -real or imagined.
            You like to insult my/our faith, my politics, my country, but you throw a wobbly when something true is pointed out to you.
            That France has serious economic problems is manifestly true.
            That this country gives more in overseas aid both governmentally and as public responses to disasters, is also true.
            That is not boasting Linus. That is not being hypocritical or loathsome. I have no need to score points over you nor anyone else.
            Your obvious need is to justify your anger against Christianity and perhaps a sense of rejection too.
            That’s very sad Linus.
            You really need to develop a sense of proportion.

          • Linus

            Go ahead and attack me. You only end up hurting yourself.

            I’m not the one who’s just betrayed my religion’s absolute requirement for humility and discretion when it comes to good works. In order to attack me, you’ve openly proclaimed your greater generosity. Your country does so much more for the poor than mine, so by extension you’re a better person than me: that’s the point you wanted to make.

            What a festering hypocrite you are. It’s all “look at me, I’m the world’s best Christian! I’m so humble!” as you praise yourself to the heavens. Then it’s “I love the gays and I want to bind up their wounds of rejection!”, all while sticking the knife in and twisting it as painfully as possible.

            Oh well, I suppose there are probably reasons for it. I’ve heard that living with a childhood disability can do terrible things to a personality. It grows up with a sense of entitlement so absolute that it twists their adult character into something absolutely self-serving, where any attack is justified as long as it bolsters their fragile ego. Perhaps you should consider counseling. And we should all thank your imaginary God you never had children. Imagine the damage you could have done!

          • dannybhoy

            “Your country does so much more for the poor than mine, so by extension you’re a better person than me: that’s the point you wanted to make.”

            I’ve never mentioned my/our personal giving, and if you weren’t so busy wallowing in self pity Linus, you’d know that as regards giving I am out of step with some of my fellow Christians here.

            “Oh well, I suppose there are probably reasons for it. I’ve heard that living with a childhood disability can do terrible things to a personality.”

            I had eczema – a condition, not a disability. Through it I learnt about how it feels to be on the fringes of schoolboy society and how to stick up for those kids who got picked on. Fortunately I was able to take care of myself.
            But this is more about you than it is me.
            Why are you getting so angry about factual statements I have made about France and its economic woes?
            Did I say anything untrue?
            No.
            It seems to me that you think you want people who will join you in your self pity fest rather than tell the truth.
            Read Hannah’s blog. She maintains a sense of proportion and dignity about her personal life. She doesn’t do self pity. Like most people of faith she has unanswered questions, but as devout Jewess she seeks to be loyal to what she believes.
            No self pity there Linus.
            Come on and man up. I am not out to get you, judge you or anything else. But if you want to dish out political criticism you should be prepared to take the consequences.

          • Linus

            The “self pity fest” you accuse me of is taking place in your head and nowhere else. You’re incapable of seeing gay people as anything but self-pitying because that’s the script that’s been drummed into your head by your evil religion and your evil self.

            And thank you for treating us to more self-glorification. Not only are you and your compatriots so much more generous to the poor than me and mine (all praise to you, o great beneficent one!), but your nobility and stoicism as a poor afflicted scrofulous child were exemplary and a lesson to us all.

            It all comes out on this blog, doesn’t it? The hypocrites who see themselves as heroes are thick on the ground and Christianity exists to service them and their egos. Have fun in your mutual appreciation society, only take care because there’s always someone with a sobbier sob story than yours and you may not end up being star of the show.

          • dannybhoy

            Whaddya mean the hypocrites who see themselves as herpes are thick on the ground?
            What’s that supposed to mean?

      • dannybhoy

        ” But it still wasn’t brilliant, was it? Of course it doesn’t matter, because they’re not real Christians, are they?”
        They organised themselves and campaigned as they thought right. I salute them for that.

        • Linus

          Oh, me too. And election campaigns always benefit from the light relief provided by the ambitions of harmless nutters. Monster Raving Loony and Pothead candidates all bring colour and interest to election night. And when the Christians start blaming the gays for floods and earthquakes, we can all laugh and reflect on the Great British tradition of madness and eccentricity that forms such an important part of your country’s image abroad.

          Were the cross-dressers from Little Britain standing in any constituency? Probably not, as the I Am A Lady Party would have no doubt swept the board. The I Am A Christian Party should perhaps consult them for campaign strategy tips next time round.

      • Dominic Stockford

        I had several contacts today – this is a nice one from a daily Bible verse. Thanks for speaking to such length about Christ and Christians, and thanks for thinking so much about us. Clearly the seed is beginning to have an effect.

        “And who is the great liar? The one who says that Jesus is not the Christ. Such people are antichrists, for they have denied the Father and the Son.”
        1 John 2:22 New Living Translation

  • not a machine

    I don’t know whether your graces blog is cyber chapel but in general I try and consider his posts in the way of what comes as superior to the law and the primary legislature , for I know things are of god even thought it puzzles and perplexes me greatly where one begins and one ends in what I believe to a be in some ways a very personal journey with Jesus Christ , Gods only son.
    I am a bit tired but I shall hopefully generate a political post hoping I have not lost my lord , which is so easy in politics.
    Yes it is a triumph for the Conservative party and the Scottish Nationalists and I have to admit in my rather bitter sweet mood that One nation is a hopeful aim and important ambition to lay before all of us , a great deal will depend on those that create the ill thought constructions of political thought , which have blighted so much of the past 20yrs and near ruined the country. To say as leadership that “we didn’t spend too much” whilst people unnecessarily died on a lavish group think of being the party of the NHS , labour/socialism become nothing more than a PR organisation , I personally do not see socialism has holding either atheist or much as Godly truth ,I see it something that has caused great harm , no country as yet ever showing it doesn’t generate into corruption and a police sate. The upset bishops who may view this labour annihilation as bit of bruise , may ponder if it is there ego or there soul , for Labour and the lib dems rode roughshod over the latter with a variety of inconsideration’s to the Christian faith , gleeyfully going onto a view that Bishops should not be in the Lords or even disestablishing the church all for votes .
    Votes can be a rather godless concept , add in corruption and you start to develope and attract the sort of people on the green benches , that look for their own success and not those of the people which they serve . And so it becomes that more corrupt people and ideas start to populate politics and inject there waste products into the greater body.
    Bishops as your grace has pointed out , are not without considerable skill in gaining there position and even arch bishops have at times supported socialism without being in much of position to be asked , why the actions don’t ever work out for Christ work.There is now both a Basillica and warmth in Cuba towards Christ that from a nation which managed to be soviet companion nearly causing nuclear war in its dust up with the USA .
    I am mindful that the nature of the spirit is not something any of us entirely understand , who am I to say that a socialist bishop , does not offer gods blessing to broken conservative in the right spirit ,to be confident that there is something beyond this earthly existence , this flesh to which we hope we will return home to as the parable of the wayward son sometimes seems to illuminate or for that matter a conservative bishop who can lead his diocese beyond childlike clichés of socialism an visit/speak with the poor knowing it adds to his/her.Most of all I am convinced that building faith , through bible teaching and understanding , together with church service builds the faith ,our minds from this are not and in my view never will be post modern , and it is within us as the individual mysterious creations of god that souls are nourished and cleansed ,politics being something of a distraction in this important aspect even though hard to avoid when considering circular knowledge loops.
    There is only the victory of Christ in the end as individuals and perhaps as a body nation.
    In the living time of many Bishops changes have occurred and I have rather a feeling that our poor argument of the family and rush to individualism has had some very harmful effects , quite who was swayed first I don’t know , but none the less it has permeated large sections of society without even much an in-depth consideration how these new modes of living would bring some of the misery I think we have created a generation of , where belief itself is loosened in a mantra of subsumed is best , and lite touch and dumbing down has held back the growth of healthy church in favour of worldly belief unopposed of at least lacking any effective challenge to any analysed harm.
    I rather miss the world of my for fathers , as lacking of consumer induced excitement or pre occupation as it was it contained a necessity to try and be good with your life and to others , all held together by organisations of people involved in a further level of Christian action . I have no godly explanation for how paedophiles could get into organisations , suddenly, it appeared we were not only fallible to evil being close , but in treating it as a minor distraction, while in the end true, in that church has to continue , we showed we had lost the power to discern evil or defend against it .
    There is hope , it is always there , there is love ,it is always there , there is Christ/god he/she is always there , the rest is something of a mystery full of fallibilities and strengths and even gods choosing . Science does not always claims brash difference from religion Einstein even when at the end of life did not consider he was in universe that was not ordered by god in a perfect way which we could not grasp , he seemed to find this curiosity enjoyment in understanding .
    We have witnessed a rather brutal political scene , I am unsure if some of the problems will resolve , but either way perhaps we should earnestly pray to god that we are aright with him/her so that we try and understand what is right.

  • Old Blowers

    Hilarious banter going on over on the comments section of the Guardian…It appears their approach was not “left wing enough”

    This is what happens to people forced into Marxist state funded schooling. Not more than 5 cells to spread amongst the whole comment section to comprehend the bleed’n obvious. Utter chumps.

    • avi barzel

      Grretings, Mr Blofeld. Shhhh! Was it Napoleon who said, “never interrupt the enemy when he is making as a mistake”?

      • Uncle Brian

        Hello Avi. That’s a new one to me. Very wise words, very sound advice.

        • avi barzel

          Came across it a few weeks ago. Could have been Metternich, but I would have guessed Macchiavelli. Any of those devious and ckever old ghosts.

          • Pubcrawler

            Seems it was indeed the Corsican dwarf (sort of):

            http://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/07/06/never-interfere/

          • dannybhoy

            Corsican dwarf?
            That’s seriously funny!

          • Grouchy Jack

            Is it a new phone, drink, or the sudden onset of dementia leading to a breakdown in your spelling and punctuation?

      • Old Blowers

        Avi. dear fellow. those fools are beyond deprogramming, so it’s best to leave them whining to themselves that David Miliband would have made all the difference to the outcome. All fully paid up members of The Fabian Self Deluded fraternity over at the Graniad, dont cha know?

        • avi barzel

          The Graniad/Gruniad ? No one remembers that one anymore except for us old warhorses. I know you’re a Kipper, but tale solace in the possibility that Dave might not have to listen as much to the howls from the left field as before. Not that it natters much, as it looks like he’s already given away the store….

          • Old Blowers

            Dear boy, have you noticed in your reply to me that i have become a full stop. Does this mean I have the last word on any sentence here on the blog *sniggers*

            That should cheese off Jack mightily. *guffaws*

          • Grouchy Jack

            Grrrrrrrr …..

          • Old Blowers

            *.*

        • Merchantman

          De-Guardianstafying?

    • dannybhoy

      I think Ed was blaming the British electorate for his failure.

      Nothing to do with his policies.

      • CliveM

        It all sounds like Labour after the 1979 election.

      • Merchantman

        Hitler blamed the German people 70 years ago, for his.

        • dannybhoy

          Before – or after?
          I think he started out blaming/scapegoating the Jews for Germany’s ills, and only when he realised his odious game was up did he blame the German people for not being the ‘herrenvolk’ he said they were..

          • Anton

            I believe he said that they weren’t worthy of him. One of his true statements, but not the way he meant it,

    • Pubcrawler

      So, let me get this right:

      UKIP (allegedly) want to take us back to the 1950s = reactionary and bad.

      Lefties want to take us back to the 1970s = progressive and good.

      Hmmmm. Funny old world the Grauniadistas live in.

    • Merchantman

      Yes and Scotland has the ultimate case of nostalgia for the Marxist utopia.
      You cant tell them that of course.
      Overall the guardianistas think you can live high on the hog off other peoples money in perpetuity. Edinburgh’s time beckons – the Athens of the north with a vengeance.

  • “stability, continuity, and incremental reform for the common good, consonant with national mores and traditions”

    Does Cranmer live in the same UK as I do, and is he speaking about the same David Cameron? The one I was familiar with is solidly in favour of the left’s moral revolution – aka not being the “nasty party” – feminism, forcing wives and mothers into the workplace, redefining marriage, de facto abortion on demand, the ongoing transfer of power from the family to the state, gay super-rights, etc.

    • bockerglory

      David, haven’t you realised that Archbishop Cranmer now has a team writing his blogs that is why there is less logic and thorough thinking and silly “sound-bites”. I just wish Cranmer would reveal who his editorial team is ….

      • Old Blowers

        Lil’ Douggie Alexander has just cleared (had it cleared) his diary for the foreseeable future..His Nibs could offer him a zero hours contract to join the team? *giggles*

        • You are a wicked man, Blowers. Show some respect, for goodness sake. Imagine waking this morning to a Labour Party/SNP government.
          Btw, Jack’s vote for the ‘Socialist Shirker Party’ didn’t prevent a Conservative MP being returned in his constituency.

          • Old Blowers

            “Jack’s vote for the ‘Socialist Shirker Party’ didn’t prevent a Conservative MP being returned in his constituency.”
            See why I get concerned for you. You and that RC SOCIALIST GOSPEL LEADING DOWN UNGODLY PATHS has you even voting wrongly *chortles*

        • Old Blowers

          It’s a bit sad when i have to ‘UP’ me own jokes *cackles*

  • ‘And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over…….’ to David Cameron.
    .
    However, pretty much any government is better than no government at all, as the Libyans could tell us. And the leadership of the country has been decided without bloodshed, which is more than can be said for some countries. And at least Francois Hollande isn’t in charge. Every cloud and all that.
    .
    As I was settling in to watch the all-night coverage of the election, God gave me this verse. ‘For here we have no continuing city, but we seek the one to come’ (Hebrews 13:14). So I went to bed.

    • Lol …. it was very entertaining watching the results. You missed a good show.

      • I usually do stay up, but I felt much better yesterday morning for a good night’s sleep. I would have stayed up if it would have got a few more seats for UKIP [sobs into beer]

    • Martin

      Martin

      Actually I’d say that any government without godliness is the worst of results for it merely leads us down that Romans 1 slope at increasing speed.

  • chiaramonti

    “…do not quite forget
    we are the people of England who never have spoken yet.;

    We have now! Mr. Brown’s boys lost it for them!

  • Old Blowers

    “http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3073966/Alastair-Campbell-admits-believed-propaganda-Ed-Miliband.html”

    Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

    Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

    Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

    Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

    Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

    Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

    • *chuckle*

      “Sometimes, when advising people I work with, I will say beware the dangers of being so far up your own backside that you end up believing your own propaganda and lose sight of what is really happening.”

      Jack thinks that what Alastair Campbell said ….

    • len

      Labour would have stood a better chance if its leaders had never appeared in public and never spoken. ‘Balls’ was a constant reminder to everyone what a disaster the last Labour government had been……..
      The Liberal elements might have been removed from power though (no pun intended)and Cameron might have to actually listen to his backbenchers now?.

      • Old Blowers

        Indeedie, Len. Ernst is enjoying the Labour autopsy being conducted by it’s socialist/Marxist blind, deaf and dumb adherents such as self appointed Coroner ‘the goat ‘ Giles Fraser *Guffaws madly*.

  • Manfarang

    I can’t read the Daily Mail. The website is blocked, but I am not missing anything.
    The Nation reports on its front page,”Thailand urged to be ready for UK’s exit from EU”. Plenty of uncertainties and negative impacts.

  • Inspector General

    God has provided us with fine weather today so that we may continue to gloat, and to do it in sunshine. Make the most of it.

    One’s suspicions of why the pollsters were so wrong comes down to a singularity. The women of this country, despite giving their opinions freely, as they do, could not at the crunch bring themselves to vote for a man whose body language was so wrong, as the ladies will tell you. The gals are particularly good at detecting this kind of thing, so the Inspector is informed. So well done them!

    • DanJ0
      • Inspector General

        Miliband can now go on the lecture circuit and make a small fortune. Or perhaps at the end of each, he can demonstrate how he eats a bacon sandwich, and make a larger one…

    • dannybhoy

      I’d love to be a fly on the wall in the Miliband household…
      🙂

      • Inspector General

        Interesting hobby you have there Danny…

        • dannybhoy

          Be assured Inspector, like you I always wear my wellies when flying around in case I land in anything… unpleasant.

      • Politically__Incorrect

        I’m bet he’s consoling himself with a bacon sandwich

    • Politically__Incorrect

      Quite right Inspector. We should not ignore the female factor in this electoral outcome. Indeed, I notice the Telegraph is still having multiple orgasms about it 24 hours later. They are in for such a headache when it’s all over. Cathy Newman, in her usual feminist spot on the DT, is analysing that most crucial of electoral statistics, the number of wimmin elected. Factors like intelligence, honesty, competence, experience, or character are of no significance to her whatsoever; just the number of X chromosomes.

      • Inspector General

        Indeed PI. If we will never see the like of an all men shortlist, why on earth…

      • Anton

        amazon.co.uk

  • Politically__Incorrect

    Anybody like to guess when the BBC are going to stop talking about the LibDems as one of the “three main parties”?

    • Inspector General

      Good point, PI. It might take years, but then, they have years to come to terms with it.

    • CliveM

      Perhaps after the next GE when I predict they will have even fewer seats.

    • magnolia

      I see from the BBC that Paddy Ashdown admitted to having eaten hedgehogs. With one of the nation’s favourite wild animals in serious decline it is just another thing, and quite a strong one, that makes the nation say “yuck” after all the Jeremy Thorpe, Cyril Smith, and many other sex scandals, not forgetting the tuition fee volte-face.

      • dannybhoy

        As long as he was only eating them…

        • magnolia

          Probably someone had killed them. They are such a small animal that roadkill would be much too dirty. Thus they contributed to their low numbers. Even should they recover the gene pool has been severely diminished. Idiots!

        • The Explorer

          How do hedgehogs make love?
          Carefully.
          What did the male hedgehog say to the female?
          “It’s a business doing pleasure with you.”

          • Actually, they are rather shy creatures and really very cute looking.

          • dannybhoy

            My wife is a hedgehog lover.
            Her only complaint is that the prickles get stuck between her teeth..

          • Phil R

            My only complaint is that the prickles get stuck between my teeth..

            And your lawn is full of ticks in the summer.

          • Pubcrawler

            Nature’s own toothpick.

          • DanJ0

            We’ve been hosting at least 6 over winter in 3 modified traffic cones in the garden.

          • dannybhoy

            My wife really does love caring for them. They are pretty noisy when they make love, and once (to my shame) one got tangled up in a rat trap.
            (fortunately only by his prickles)
            This was 2:30 in the morning. You really would not believe the noise he made trying to shake off this trap.
            I had to run out into the back garden (a la commando) and free the poor thing.
            Fortunately he was none the worse for his scare..

          • Inspector General

            ‘Friendly fire’ casualties in the animal world….

          • dannybhoy

            Yep, even in the animal world.
            I am now in the process of buying a cheap .22 air rifle to deal with the rats..

          • sarky

            What’s the difference between a hedgehog and the house of commons?

            A hedgehog has pricks on the outside.

      • Inspector General

        He was a soldier. SBS man.

        • CliveM

          If they were road kill, environmentally sound! Of course it would also make him a scavenger, which would be appropriate for an LD.

      • When you say “eaten” you do mean as in food? There’s no equivalence with sexual perversions and crimes against the innocent. Roast hedgehog may be quite tasty – or not.

        • Inspector General

          Pikey cuisine…

          • The E.U. has decided we are no longer allowed to use the word Pikey as it has negative connotations. We are required to use the phrase: Caravan Utilising Nomadic Travellers.
            (Acronyms are not permitted)

          • Inspector General

            ‘Coq au Pikey’. Instructions, take one stolen chicken, and three stolen onions. To this, add several stolen potatoes…

        • magnolia

          How about “Dodo kiev”. Take last remaining pair of Dodos found in the wilds of Scotland, trap, butcher, stuff with oignons de linus infused butter, cover with breadcrumbs and voilà. Would that not be worse than a bit of adultery, very bad though that be ? Just asking!

          As for eating Mrs.Tiggywinkle, how can one ever trust such a man again? A clear and early sign, I consider!

          Furthermore hedgehogs are now endangered, but their erstwhile brilliant defence against predators was a predictable bad protection against cars, cars were predictably going to increase and further endanger the hedgehog, everyone with a little knowledge and a few brain cells knew that decades ago. Road kill given that it usually a frightened ball of a hedgehog that has been flattened, it almost certainly was not. And frankly it was an awful thing to do.

          • Dodo wants you to keep Linus’s oignons well away from him, thank you. Too smelly.

          • Phil R

            The “fact” is from some on this blog that we need not worry as hedgehogs will eventually “evolve” to resist being hit by cars.

            Evolution a well known fact

            Thicker skin or longer legs etc

            Might even sprout wings, like pigs perhaps.

          • sarky

            And you could evolve a brain! !!

          • Phil R

            No need for one until I started sparing with the intellectual giants of atheism on this log and elsewhere.

            No doubt by children will be cleverer because of the changes in my environment, imbued by my need to argue with such a consistent, (Yeah right), growing (Yeah right) worldview based on doing whatever feels good for me today and if it feels good it must be morally good.

            But hand on, in this (brave) new Atheist worldview that we are increasingly forced to subscribe. I don’t need to argue at all. I can just say that your worldview “feels” wrong and you must accept that for me that is a morally valid choice.

            In fact all choices/ behaviours must be morally valid because atheists have no basis to say otherwise.

            So if we are all to be atheists, it seems you are right, I don’t need a brain at all, just a desire for anarchy and being poor.

          • sarky

            I refer you to my first comment! !!

          • Phil R

            Always the same answer. If were clever you would agree with me.

          • DanJ0

            Your kids have suffered a terrible disadvantage to date, they need all the help they can get.

          • Phil R

            Square it with your other comment about your fellow Atheists wanting you and all the other Conservatives dead, for simply disagreeing with them.

          • DanJ0

            My fellow atheists? You think my Facebook is full of atheists? Lol.

          • Phil R

            Seems to follow.

            Or are you now going to tell me that they are full of conservative Evangelical Christians and you also are an Anglican and a paid up member of Reform?

          • DanJ0

            Most of them probably ticked the Christian box on the census form but there’s only a handful of actual god-botherers on there as far as I know. I know of several definite a-theists like me.

      • Anton

        Are hedgehogs a protected species? If not, what’s the fuss about?

        • magnolia

          Yes, hedgehogs are an endangered species, and hedgehog awareness week was 3rd -9th May! Seems to have passed some by…..

          They are very much the gardener’s friend and eat slugs and snails amongst other things. For all the nature programmes on TV the knowledge of basic wildlife here seems a tad lacking.

    • Royinsouthwest

      They will continue to do so and if anyone corrects them they will say they meant in England, and if anyone corrects them about that they will say they meant in terms of English MPs.

  • Irene’s Daughter

    In 1992 Norman Tebbit stood virtually alone in his concerns about the Maastricht Treaty. Today he has at least 3,881,128 men and women standing with him. The pressure is growing for getting out of the prison and all those who seek to guild the cage to keep us in will find that the pressure is unstoppable. Praise the Lord.

    • dannybhoy

      Norman Tebbit and wife, true Brits with true grit.

      • Anton

        Michael Foot called him a semi house trained polecat. He meant it as an insult, which was yet another misjudgement…

        • dannybhoy

          I remember Norman Tebbit when he spoke about his unemployed father getting on his bike to find work, rather than rioting.
          My father at the end of ww2 never returned to his family in Jarrow because there was no work at the time.
          Norman was right; the world doesn’t owe us a living, and rather than sit around railing at the unfairness of life, it’s better to just get on yer bike….

          • big

            Tebbit = Vote labour.

          • dannybhoy

            Labour are great at spending other people’s money.
            There are very few hard working labour supporters, just hard working labour representatives living off the contributions of labour whingers.
            Ever seen a union rep who shares your pain or lifestyle?
            No, neither have I.

  • big

    Conservative = Stockhome syndrome = positive feeling towards control……negative feeling towards rescuer.

    • The Explorer

      Welcome back, big! Don’t tell me, let me guess. You took your name from Cameron’s ‘big society’.

      • big

        Actually it was a character from Sex and the City.

        • dannybhoy

          I expect they only had a small part…

          • big

            Big part

          • dannybhoy

            self recommendation is no recommendation.
            It was a bit part I bet…
            😉

          • big

            Big part

    • Six munce ago I cudnt even spel Stockhome. Now I kan right about it.

      • big

        Well done it took a while though!

  • big

    labour= Stockhome syndrome….. etc….. etc ….I wont include UKIP or Lib thingy whatever they call themselves.

  • magnolia

    Sturgeon “bursting with pride”. Does that mean an explosion of sturgeon roe?

    • dannybhoy

      She’s a bloater..
      🙂

    • bluedog

      She’s childless. Nursery commitments aren’t going to slow her down.

  • Martin

    Where is the evidence that there is anything moral about David Cameron & his party?

    • Inspector General

      There isn’t.

    • Politically__Incorrect

      Five years on and I’m still looking for some evidence. When it comes to the feminist and LGBT agendas, I see no difference between Cameron and Milliband. If Cameron does move further to the right it won’t be because of personal conviction but because he feels his right-wingers tugging at his sleeve instead of Clegg and his liberals. At least we won’t have the SNP raiding the till before leaving the Union. Neither will we get some half-assed legislation against “Islamophobia”. I regard this parliament as a breathing space while we wait for a real government.

      • Martin

        PI

        Cameron seems remarkably malleable, even that gummy photo of him at the top brings to mind some sort of puppet whose face can be moulded to suit.

      • big

        Conservative= “Islamophobia” law. you’ve been warned !!!!

    • Linus

      Equal marriage.

      • Phil R

        It does not make it moral simply because it is the way you want to live your life

        So if I wanted 5 wives, you should say that that is equally moral as you have no basis to say otherwise.

        (I can think of less tasteful analogies and the same argument holds.)

        • Linus

          If you wanted 5 wives you’d first of all have to find 5 straight women who wanted you enough to marry you and were content to share you amongst themselves.

          And now we’re into the realms of typical straight male fantasy. I don’t know what you look like, but if your posts are anything to go by, I’m thinking mullet, waist measurement larger than chest measurement (unless the beer has gone to the moobs rather than the belly – sometimes it does…) and a preponderance of supermarket denim in your wardrobe. None of which will help you appeal to even one woman, let alone 5.

          But I’ll tell you what: when you’ve got your 5 brides lined up, come back and speak to me again and then I’ll quite happily throw my weight behind your campaign for polygamous marriage. As a cheaper option than residential care for the 5 intellectually handicapped women involved, it would certainly be an effective way of promoting care in the community. A little bit of income support for you rather than hundreds of thousands spent every year on housing and feeding such poor unfortunates and employing someone to keep them out of mischief sounds like a pretty good deal for the taxpayer.

          • Phil R

            OK so don’t answer the question.

            But I will answer yours. Women are different to homosexual men. Don’t base your assumptions of what women value, on what you value.

            A homosexual relationship is a relationship between two men.

            It does not replicate in any way the relationship between a man and a woman.

            That is why homosexual “marriage” is not marriage and never will be.

          • Linus

            The State disagrees with you. And the electorate has just confirmed the government that gave you equal marriage, with an increased majority and no need to rely on any other parties to govern. So it looks like the people disagree with you too. They had their chance to vote the Conservatives out. They didn’t do it.

            So it’s you against the world. Not a new situation for most Christians, of course. One might almost say it’s their default setting…

          • Phil R

            100 years go most people thought that Eugenics was a good idea.

            Time moves on and attitudes change. 2% of the population cannot continue to attack the family indefinitely

            BTW the increased majority was as a result of 130,000 votes.

            and

            You still have not answered the question.

          • Linus

            “Attack the family”? Your imaginary God, you don’t half come up with some weird propaganda phrases. Did you invent that one or crib it from a Focus on The Family pamphlet?

            ‘Scuse me while I speak to my partner about our attack strategy. We’re focussing on the family that lives next door. Mum, dad, two children … evil beggars, we’re planning on taking them out within the month and will then proceed through the building until they’re all gone…

            Mouah hah hah! Ve vill eradicate EVERY family in Paris by ze end of ze sommer!!!

          • Phil R

            Not from Focus on the Family

            But from Matt Walsh. A young Christian having quite an impact it seems.

            Gay Adoption Might Be Good For Gay Activists, But It’s Terrible For Children

            http://themattwalshblog.com/2015/05/08/gay-adoption-might-be-good-for-gay-activists-but-its-terrible-for-children/#uIOvQCqrjRWLqJ43.99

          • Linus

            I was pretty sure the term wasn’t yours. It reeks of the kind of stylized propaganda that extremists and whack jobs always invent to describe what they hate and want to suppress.

            “Attacks on the family” can be classed in the same category as “global elite conspiracy” and “Zionist master plan for world power”. A term used by whack jobs to justify their hysterical claims of evil plots and stratagems.

            It would be laughable if it weren’t quite so lame.

          • Phil R

            But you don’t have marriage when homosexual couples “commit”.

            Marriage increasingly becomes a meaningless term the broader you define the term. As will the duality of it hence we are at full circle, at the question I asked at the start and you seem to refuse to answer.

            The attack on marriage is the attempts to turn it into whatever one wants it to be. That is the root of the attack on the family.

          • Linus

            The definition of marriage has changed significantly over the years. It used to be polygamous arrangement with the woman counting for little more than a chattel. Then the Church enforced monogamy, but still women had no rights or autonomy within the institution. Slowly as the modern era dawned that started to change, as did the absolute prohibition on divorce, which had never been absolute if you were rich and influential enough.

            Marriage has evolved over the centuries and will keep on evolving in line with the evolution of our society. If you think you can stick your head in the sand and ignore that, then you’ll have to ignore virtually the entire history of the institution. What you want is what your grandparents had, and they probably wanted what their grandparents had, all the way back to the first hominid apes (or Adam and Eve, as you probably think of them).

            But we don’t live in the past. We live in the present. Or at least some of us do. Others prefer to behave like nostalgic ostriches and ignore the reality around them. The view is so much safer at the bottom of a sand hole. You can ignore the big wide world and concentrate on the only thing that matters: what YOU want.

          • Phil R

            There was one change that was to monogamous marriage 2000 years ago.

            Women are “sisters in Christ”, that is absolute equal value before God — the only one that matters.

            The question I keep asking is if you are correct then what is the next evolution? There are a number of options. I suggested poly marriage consisting of several wives and one man or several men and several wives. (Divorce could get messy) If it could evolve to include your choice, then it could evolve again.

            Either way they are not marriage and have been rejected generally by pagan society (And in recent history some communist countries ,who initially weakened marriage, or stated it was not necessary, only to strengthen it again later.) as not being in the best interest of children or society.

            You are also confusing the definition of marriage in your piece with the cultural expectations of the roles of women and men within marriage, which I agree is not fixed, but for Christians is loosely defined by the Bible.

      • Martin

        Linus

        What equal marriage? We don’t have ‘equal’ marriage. Next you’ll be telling me marriage is a right, it isn’t. Marriage depends on finding someone of the opposite sex to be willing to live with you. And no, so-called ‘same sex marriage’ isn’t marriage in any sense of the term.

        • Linus

          The equal marriage that exists on the statute books of England and Wales, and Scotland. The same equal marriage that was passed by huge majorities in the parliaments of both countries (regions? nations? federal subdivisions? don’t know what the appropriate term is…)

          Deny it all you like. Your denial does not have force of law. You’re just one Christian bigot pissing in the wind and getting soaked in your own urine as a result. By all means continue, it’s no skin off my nose. Not even the tiniest little drop splashes onto me or anyone else. It all blows back onto you…

          • Anton

            Law does not necessarily have the force of truth. The government may if it chooses issue certificates stating that the moon is made of green cheese but that does not make it so. Or it may “promise to pay the bearer on demand the sum of five pounds” but can it do so for all the notes in circulation?

          • Martin

            Linus

            Totally irrelevant, the law has become a fool. In any case, it isn’t equal marriage for there are restrictions, are there not. A person is not allowed to marry their pet or one of their possession, nor are they allowed to marry multiple persons of indeterminate gender. So what in fact you are after is your own little perversion being regarded as ‘normal’, so you can talk about being married.

            It is interesting how the Bible talks about marriage:

            Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24 [ESV])

            and said, Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh? (Matthew 19:5 [ESV])

            and they shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. (Mark 10:8 [ESV]

            Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, The two will become one flesh. (I Corinthians 6:16 [ESV])

            Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. (Ephesians 5:31 [ESV]

            The two who are different become one. Not exactly something that can be said of your ‘relationship’ where the two are the same is it? So you can see, the whole concept behind gay marriage is a nonsense. You don’t become one from being two who are different, you don’t complement each other, you don’t create a family, for the only way that you can have children is by artificial means, plastic children. All in all, you’re just those whose lust get’s the better of their morality.

            I find it sad that what should be a guide, the law of the land, has become a nonsense, a foolishness. What were serious places of debate have chosen to become places where folly and political correctness are promoted. We can no longer look up to our judges or parliament for they have become fools.

            And, of course, the vulgarity that you finish your post with is quite appropriate for you are a vulgar little person. Sad really.

          • Simon Maxwell

            Correct. Same-sex ‘marriage’ is not ‘equal marriage’. There are no such things as consummation and adultery in same-sex ‘marriage’ law. Therefore, it is not equal. Same-sex ‘marriage’ is faux marriage – an Orwellian Newspeak legal nonsense, in which men can be wives, and women can be husbands.

  • Who would steal a van with 200,000 voting slips for Hastings and Rye and
    Eastbourne I wonder?

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-2015-england-32517842
    The Cons have won in both of these seats, it would seem this lady
    resident of Hastings might have a point when she accuses the
    Conservatives of vote rigging here:

    She writes “200,000 + Voting papers were reported missing from a van
    that was stolen in London bound for Hastings/Eastbourne, East Sussex,
    Then the Tories gain seats and the number of votes total the same
    amount of missing votes in 30+ of those seats, giving them the
    majority rule, it was rigged.”

    • Phil R

      The conservatives won with an increase vote of just 140,000 over 2010 (max)

      http://www.bbc.com/news/election/2015/results

      Entirely possible.

    • Martin

      Marie

      It is, of course, the BBC. They are putting their own spin on it.

    • Ben Lewis

      I’m sure no one of any party at the count had their eye out for the introduction of 200,000 differently colored ballot papers, likely numbered differently and with a different official mark.

      • Ever since the BBC Challengers Debate on the 16th April when the Scottish vixen declared her interests in a coalition with red Ed. Panic struck and the conservative supporting media went into overdrive. Red Ed said he would not go into a coalition with the SNP, but could the nation trust him? Probably not. Time for action as
        the poles were showing an up and down close situation between the Cons and Lab. The supporting media ramped up the hysteria, but to ensure a victory how far would Call me Dave go I wonder?

        The van with the blank votes in got stolen on the 29th April. Anything is possible.

        • Ben Lewis

          I’m still not clear on how different coloured papers with different numbers and a different official mark would have escaped notice at the count?Representatives from all parties would have been present to witness the count.

  • The Explorer

    If David Cameron really is a closet lefty, the Coalition was a godsend. You could do lefty stuff, and not do right-wing stuff, and blame it on the Lib Dems. Now what? Time will tell.

    • big

      Time will indeed tell, lookout for that Islamophobia law!

      • The Explorer

        Good point. Nobody can afford to ignore the Muslim vote; although Labour has to rely on it more than the Tories do.
        The extreme case of Islam crawling was George Galloway; I always found his prostration of himself before Islam rather repulsive. I suspect genuine Muslims did too. I wonder if he’ll continue with his fawning now he’s lost his seat.

        • Inspector General

          The Conservative party can afford to ignore the muslim vote. Just look at any electoral map of the country.

          • avi barzel

            Similar situation here. Our federal Conservatives have been dismissive of Muslims with curbs on the deluge of refugee and “family reunification” claims, with muscular antiterror legislation and police action, and unprecedented pro-Israel policies, with our PM Harper being called an islamophobe even. But we can all read the demographic projections and know this won’t last. Still, no reason to start the dhimitude shuffle early; drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die anyway.

          • The Explorer

            On the other hand, remember Baroness Warsi.

        • dannybhoy

          Couldn’t agree more. Even accepting that Palestinians have rights too, he was quite repulsive in his fawning attitude.

        • Anton

          Ken Livingstone equally bad.

  • Phil R

    THe second place map is interesting

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/general-election-2015/11595121/Election-2015-second-place-results-How-it-all-could-have-been-so-different.html

    To my great surprise, in Wales UKIP was second in very deprived areas. I would not have expected that. Plaid perhaps, or even Con but not UKIP. It seems that in Wales at least, UKIP may be emerging as an alternative for Labour voters.

  • DanJ0

    I’ve been attacked from all sides on my Facebook simply for voting tory since the election. It makes this place seem like a bastion of Christian love and goodwill. Last night’s demonstration outside Central Office and Downing Street by that bunch of anarchists, socialist worker party members, and ne’er-do-wells really stirred people up. My voting tory was the equivalent of helping the state murder the vulnerable, disabled, and sick apparently. We should be killed ourselves and Tory politicians hanged from lamp posts, people have said. Moreover, the whole election was systematically rigged as evidenced by the difference between the pre-election opinion polls and the exit polls. Strange lot, some of these lefties.

    • Phil R

      “Strange lot, some of these lefties.”

      You only just noticed?

    • CliveM

      I think I said to you before, Facebook sounds like Scotland! Up there you’re a murdering baby killer and traitor to boot for voting Tory.

      People just can’t take defeat.

      • DanJ0

        I thought last night that I bet this was what it was like up there during the referendum from the Nats.

        • CliveM

          It was. I experimented in Facebook in the run up to it. I closed it down. The vitriol was astounding. And the SNP whipped it up.

      • dannybhoy

        It’s bullyboy tactics, the same as exists in some parts of Northern Ireland even now.

    • dannybhoy

      There was a chap on LBC the other morning registered blind from birth, who said he was terrified of what the Tories might do as regards future benefits cuts.
      For Goodness sake!
      No one’s going to victimise the poor man if he can’t see! He needs benefit support and it should be given him.
      My hope is that they re-instate workshops for the physically/mentally disabled so thatchy can do something productive and have the opportunity to socialise with other people. That to my mind is a truly caring society.

      • DanJ0

        Many of the disabled people on my Facebook are similarly terrified. They’ve been through the Atos assessment, appealed, and won. As many have. They’re worried about where the £12bn cuts will land. Disabled groups are sharing the numbers for the Samaritans, Citizens Advice, and other help groups.

        • dannybhoy

          Before I retired in 2005 I worked with handicapped adults and children. Politically I was a Conservative. I think it’s nonsense – absolute nonsense, to assume that Tories would not want to look after the incapacitated. What the Tories are against (and I agree) is developing a benefits culture which encourages dependency.
          It is this focus on the welfare state which is crippling our economic creative ability and penalising those who make sacrifices to build businesses and thus create employment. Working for a living is a thing to be encouraged not despised.

          • Dude

            My answer would be to abolish the over complex and ridiculously calculated tax credits, a typical Gordon Brown wheeze. That’s save £30 billion a year. Some this could go on gradually increasing the tax threshold to the average wage of £26,000.

          • dannybhoy

            Yes, that’s another solution. Personally I believe that all work has value, and all who want to work should be fairly paid at least to the average wage.
            The problem is of course that the market always adjusts to any changes, but I believe no one should struggle to make ends meet in a civilised society.
            The thing is that politicians want to reward those who back them (through quangos etc) or else create work (and therefore votes!) usually in the public sector or by making things unnecessarily complicated bureaucratically.
            If politicians who would take power had to face the ordinary citizen as belatedly happened on Question Time, they wouldn’t be able to get away with this stuff.

          • Dude

            Well it’d be just one part of my emergency budget. I agree with your sentiments and like you I am sick to death of how the left portrays the right as a bunch of heartless sods. I just believe that the social welfare should go to those who do need and act as a safety net, plus the government needs to help out as much as as hand out. As for atos, I detested them and don’t believe you can weed out those who shouldn’t be given benefits based on computer programs. Likewise those deemed fit enough to work need helped with training and support, so they have a decent chance of getting a job. There’s no point in making a wheelchair bound person get a job shelf stacking. But then the first lot to go and get their p45 would be the utterly useless job centre staff….

          • dannybhoy

            Okay we basically agree.
            You can be my deputy…
            :0)

          • Okay, the Sam party would agree , but only if I get to be in the house of lords. If also possible I want a Bentley, free Cuban cigars, whiskey and herring. I’ll work for the minimum wage, so give me a stupid but grand sounding title like first Secretary of state. But I will want use of one of the country pads. Chevening looks great. and I’m not a lib dem, so you won’t be able to shaft me at the next election.

          • dannybhoy

            Laugh out loud, and every member of our cabinet has to wear a shtreimel when we’re conducting business okay?

          • I’ll compromise and suggest fedoras.. But only if Myleene Klass gets a cabinet post.

          • dannybhoy

            You’d make more of an impact with a shtreimel Shmu’el..
            I’d put a good word in for you..

          • Phil R

            For a family? Or are you suggesting £52000 for a family with transferable tax allowances?

            That I could sign up to

          • Anton

            As abolished by Kenneth Clarke, who richly deserves one in the eye for that. But it must be restricted to married couples, not the shacked-up.

    • Inspector General

      You may have answered the greatest question of all (in the BBC’s all controlling opinion). Why the pollsters got it so wrong…

  • Dreadnaught

    David Cameron has triumphed, and so has Nicola Sturgeon.
    Westminster has always held the Scots at arms length. They have a legitimate gripe for being marginalised by both Tories and Labour Governments except when being a test bed for experimental policies or a reliable block of safe seats for the English Labourites.
    Now the SNP have those seats it may be of benefit in the cause of unexpected consequences for good.
    One:
    It shows that people can be engaged in politics when passions are aroused by the real issues. The SNP did deliver the conditions for a Conservative Government and CCO would be wise to accept that more people voted for what they didn’t want than simply another five years from off the Conservative Party house-menu.
    Two:
    The electorate are no longer prepared to preserve the remote Westminster ‘right to rule’ elite.
    Three:
    SNP will be scrutinised as never before – their arses can now be held to the fire.
    Four:
    There will be tension between Salmon and Sturgeon for who wields the most influence and an opportunity to scupper plans for the breakup of the UK ; they may not be so smug about the tail wagging the dog when the cracks appear.
    Five:
    More people voted UKIP than SNP and more people live London than all of Scotland; electoral reform is long overdue – start with a new parliament building central to the United Kingdom and energise democracy from the floor up.

    • dannybhoy

      Well put.