Christian power lists: fame, popularity, judgement and false humility


Nominations have now closed in the quest to discover the ‘Top 100 UK Christians’ for 2014. Hundreds have been nominated – some with sarcastic citations (Sir Cliff Richard – “For not singing at Wimbledon and not inflicting a Christmas record on us”; Bishop Alan Wilson – “He has a beard. Jesus had one too”); a few ineligible because they died way before 2014 (William Booth [1912]; David Watson [1984]); still others disqualified because they are either not British (Jesus) or Christian (Rabbi Jonathan Sacks). But most were nominated with eager and effusive testimony: their witness for Christ and service for the Kingdom has evidently touched the lives of many, often in unknown and unknowable ways.

Since the #CranmerList2014 was announced on 4th November, there has been criticism, scorn and condemnation from some quarters. Twitter raged: “This is just awful, absolutely awful.” “Seriously?! Can think of many worthy people who would be horrified by the idea of this list so I’ll honour them by not nominating.” “Please tell me this is all a joke? Otherwise a hideous idea, profoundly contrary to the example and teaching of Jesus.” “I don’t think this is wise. Surely inconsistent with Christian humility. And it is not our opinion that matters.”

And scriptures flew around like bird droppings from a flock of bar-tailed godwits. The favourite was from the Gospel of Mark, Chapter 10, where James and John ask to sit each side of Jesus in glory, and the Lord responds: “But to sit on my right hand and on my left hand is not mine to give; but it shall be given to them for whom it is prepared.” And later: “Whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister: And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all.

And then there were questions about quotas: will women feature as prominently as men? And, presumably, by inference, a little urged manipulation to ensure that all minority identities and interests are catered for. And then another scripture: “Presumably the first will be last and the last will be first?” With an eschatological third-degree: “So everyone will be vying for the 100th spot on the list?”

The lack of theological exegesis and biblical context is surprising, coming from some. James and John were expecting an imminent Parousia to establish Christ’s Kingdom on earth. They were eager for personal power and glory: they presumed to promote themselves to places of honour. Naturally, all of the Disciples wanted to know what was in it for them (cf Mt 18:1-3; 19:27-30). Jesus made it clear that God honours those whom He wills: not even the Son gets to choose who sits at His right hand. There is nothing here about Christians being forbidden from recognising the profound witness or honouring loyal service of others. The injunction is against seeking recognition and honour for onesself. Those who seek to be first must place themselves last; those who desire to rule must become servants; those who desire personal power and glory must turn their ambitions toward blessing others and take pride in that. Of course, the Kingdom needs leaders and so does the Church. And such an ambition is laudable: “This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work” (1Tim 3:1). The desire is a vocation, and that must be discerned with humility: recognition must be bestowed by others.

The #CranmerList2014 is not about dishing out accolades to your favourite preacher or rewarding life-long service: very many would be deserving and we would need more than 100 places for all worthies. It is called the #CranmerList2014 because the intention is to make it an annual list to recognise profound and remarkable Christian or service in a given year, thereby mitigating assertions of hierarchy. You may think that Her Majesty the Queen deserves to the top honour: the question would be: ‘How has she distinguished herself this year?’ Those who insist that such a pursuit is “anti-Gospel” or “anti-Christian” or “of this world” are free to demur. But the concept of ‘celebrity’ is as Christian as it is worldly. The word may have been demeaned by X-Factor ephemera and the eating of live witchetty grubs in the jungle, but consider some of the greatest preachers throughout history – John Wesley, Charles Spurgeon, Jonathan Edwards, Martin Lloyd-Jones and George Whitefield. Or further back to Martin Luther, Jean Calvin, John Wycliffe and John Knox. Or further back still, to St Stephen or StPaul. And what about Jesus? Didn’t you need to be a celebrity in 30AD in order to attract crowds of 5000?

Power lists of the Top 100, Top 50 or Top 10 may be part of what we call ‘celebrity culture’, and they may be obsessed with assertions of identity or the propagation of minority interests. But, for good or ill, that is now the dominant culture of the Western world, and Christians either adopt, engage and transform it, or shun, denounce and pour scorn upon those who might see a missiological opportunity. Since the world has celebrities, why shouldn’t the Church? If the world spreads its message through fame and renown, why shouldn’t Christians promote worthwhile ministries or recognise those individuals whom the world often overlooks? To inculurate is not to compromise: it is to become all things to all people in order that they might be saved.

You may think the ‘Top 100’ anything to be artificial and contrived if not idolatrous, and you would be right. The majority tend to hanker after high placements and use that honour to gain more fame, power and wealth. The motive is Mammon and the cause is self. That is not the case with #CranmerList2014: certainly, there will be flawed and imperfect people upon it, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. You may not agree with their theology, denomination, opinions or lifestyle. But there can be no doubt – this year at least – that they have witnessed for Christ or served the Kingdom and impressed one or more sufficiently to merit a nomination. Of course, many will have witnessed and laboured in the vineyard who haven’t been nominated. But this List is in its infancy, and its increasing fame may lead to greater harvests for the cause of the gospel in future years.

‘Top’ lists may work together for good with those who serve the Lord. Their ministry may be local, national or global; it may be wealthy or impoverished; known or obscure. By listing them, others might hear of their faith and good works (Col 1: 4-10), and still others might learn how to free a few more captives. The List is not to ‘make’ celebrities: it is to acknowledge the plain truth that some Christians have influence beyond that of others. They are not in any sense worth more or necessarily holier: it is simply that, like Timothy, they have distinguished themselves and word has spread. In 58AD, fame increased by word of mouth and written report: now it is by Blogger, Twitter and TV.

And ‘power’ lists.

Criticise the vanity and admonish the giddy method if you want to. Tear down the initiator and rejoice with those who denounce, impugn and rebuff. But please don’t assert that everything created must be ‘religious’, or that everything religious must conform to half-sighted notions of biblical exposition. If you are not famous in the world, don’t be jealous but rejoice in your obscurity. If you are not nominated for an honour, satisfy your heart with the peace that passes understanding. You will eventually win the race because you are an heir to the crown of life and will one day reign with Christ in glory. Until then, we have the fleeting ovations and garlands of the ‘Top 100 UK Christians’ to challenge and entertain us. It may be foolishly flawed and petty enough to excite the paparazzi. It may be offensively partial and unacceptably elitist. But it might also make known things which ought to be made known, and even disclose a few divine gifts. So, please don’t judge motives, intentions or sincerity, for that way surely lies the dark side.

Nominations are currently being sifted, citations weighed and ministry discerned. The ‘Top 100 UK Christians’ of 2014 will be announced to coincide with the world’s New Year Honours list.

  • Shadrach Fire

    Your Grace,
    You have said it all. with all it’s imperfections, all it’s good intentions, this list will be an interesting observation of what people consider a Saint of significance in society today. (I might just shoot myself if David Cameron is anywhere on the list).

    • Chris Pickett

      Surely Cameron’s less qualified than Alan Wilson; unless he’s growing a beard.

  • Although I didn’t nominate him, expecting that others would, I should be surprised if Canon Andrew White is not near the top.

    I assume there will be no popular vote but instead a small group of the wise will decide, a sensible move to avoid mockers and scoffers. Much as we all like to have a say, OMOV is overrated.

    • Busy Mum

      Agree – universal franchise has wrecked this country.

      • The problem isn’t OMOV. All our troubles can be traced to the Representation of the People Act 1918. These hit full throttle with the Representation of the People (Equal Franchise) Act in 1928. But for this legislation, Britain would still have an Empire and the Church of England would be united.

        • Busy Mum

          I think OMOV uses ‘man’ as a generic term for any human being, including busy mums. We non-feminists have no objection to being referred to as men in this way!

          • Okay, Sir.

          • Since I mentioned the term, let me add that when I use the term I mean ‘one moron one vote’.

            You don’t think a vast number of voters are morons? Have you LOOKED at them? Do you know what papers they read, what TV they watch, what lies they believe, what truths they deny, what false self esteem they wallow in?

            Because of OMOV and various professional whiners, vote seeking politicians urinate away £billions on pointless lawyer scams like the Bloody Sunday and Hillsborough enquiries. Money they borrowed and that our great grandchildren (in the unlikely event that our grandchildren can afford to have them) will have to pay back

            We could not have racked up a £1,500,000,000,000 national debt but for OMOV. Governments play Father Christmas handing out goodies to the whining babies, knaves bribe fools for their votes using their grandchildren’s money, and still the cry ‘the government must do more!’ goes up. And now Labour wants to extend the vote to 16 year olds! Presumably because their great sense of entitlement and poor education will ensure a socialist vote.

            No representation without taxation-one income tax payer, one vote!

            I am well aware that believing this makes me an extremist, so Lady Theresa MAYcBeth had better send the thought police round for me.

          • Busy Mum

            If that makes you an extremist, then I am one too!
            One of my favourite shock tactics is announcing that I am quite happy to forego my entitlement to vote on this basis. It really does startle feminists – they don’t quite know how to handle a woman saying such a thing – and as for students……

          • Busy Mum

            Thanks for the vote of confidence 🙂 – maybe I am on track to be Iron Lady MkII after all!

    • Uncle Brian

      Not near the top, surely, but at the top!

  • len

    Where are all the great preachers?
    C H Spurgeon( a man who never ‘ minced his words’ )would probably get arrested if he were to preach today as would many of the old time preachers.. I also would place my vote for that true Man of God Canon Andrew White .

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      Mr Spurgeon never minced, either.

  • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

    Ah, dear Charles Spurgeon. We once knocked back a carafe of madeira when he visited Barchester along with Moody and Sankey ( <Moody and Sarky I called them, miserable pair of warblers if ever there was). Old Fishy Spurgeon was game for a few parlour games however, oh how we laughed…well up to a point. I did object to him calling me 'Old Trout' but supposed it was a term of endearment.

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      No sure why all the funny equal signs appeared between each word…

      • most=””” strange=””” Mrs=””” Proudie=”””; most=”””” strange=””””. Jack=””” hopes=””” it’s=”””not=””” catching=”””””

        • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

          Corrected it now…how did you do that? What did I press that caused that to happen?

  • Inspector General

    Interesting concept that. ‘Christian humility’. Can’t see any need for it unless you are one of those gentle timid things who feel guilty about being alive and having possessions and not being in a permanent state of starvation.

    No. One should be proudly Christian. And arrogant with it too. And not apologise to detractors for being Christian and to pour scornful pity on those who are without God and Christ and who try to make you and yours without God and Christ too.

    And one should mock those who worship their sun gods or the gods of materialism or that demon the Mohameds kill for, or the gonads of their own and others of the same sex, or for that matter, Christians, frequently Anglican bishops, who have through their own intellectual arrogance lost the way and are leading the flock astray as well. Not that these types have a following of any number, which they don’t, as it so distracts them to peer around to look up their own behind, they haven’t noticed the faithful walking away nonplussed.

    Be unashamedly Christian, chaps. Get in there and show them….

    “I say, Christians coming through here, you whatevers, get out of our way, what !”

    “Tally ho !”

    • You make a good point, well several, Inspector.

    • Harry

      And it is also enormous fun to mock those that believe that some wafer, when mumbled over, turns into the body of a long dead Palestinian weirdo…

      • Inspector General

        You think Jesus Christ is a weirdo ? Well, you obviously don’t know much about the man and his mission. By the way, just some friendly advice. If yours truly was a homosexual, he’d be somewhat wary about using the word ‘weirdo’ so freely….

  • Inspector General

    On the subject of voting entitlement, bring back the property requirement. That kind of ‘fine tuning’ {AHEM} will cure everything, and the politicians we have wouldn’t dare to pander to the lowest denominator as they have been doing for decades…
    What !

    • Shadrach Fire

      Gerrymandering was labelled as the main cause for the Civil Rights movement in NI. Otherwise, in a less sensible moment I might agree with you.

      • Inspector General

        A contributing factor, that man. one of many. The only problem there was that the excluded were most definitely the entitled….

    • Good idea.

  • Bishop Alan Wilson – “He has a beard. Jesus had one too”.

    A sarcastic citation? What other grounds could a person possibly give?

    • carl jacobs

      Jack, Jack, Jack

      That kind of comment will not improve the Good Bishop’s opinion of Cranmer’s commenting community. We need to see the emergence of a kinder gentler Jack. In fact, I think we need to come up with Bishop Wilson Approval Metrics so we can chart our progress toward rebuilding our tarnished image. I’m serious about this, Jack. We just can’t ignore the disapproval of an important enlightened bishop.

      • Carl

        As you know, Jack has benefitted from your wise counsel down the years and greatly appreciates this – despite you being an American and a Manchester City supporter. However, Jack is at a loss on this one. Really, he is. Jack just cannot get past his shadow self here. Alan Wilson was very, very rude to Jack too and actually called him a Muslim when he politely and, one adds, with intelligent erudition, suggested God did not approve of homosexuals marrying in Church. And Jack also has doubts about God approving helping sad and ill people murder themselves.

        So Jack will have to bow to your greater wisdom and diplomacy here and follow your example. Please point out in what ways the Bishop of Buckingham is like Jesus – other than by having a beard.

        • Uncle Brian

          You mean Alan Wilson has added your name to his list of personal enemies? That’s quite an accolade! Of course, there are people who go out of their way to collect enemies. Do you suppose he is a prey to that failing?

          • CliveM

            I think its just something he is naturally talented at. He doesn’t to try.

          • Alan does not have personal enemies, Brian. Goodness, no. He wants erudite, well informed conversations.

            He holds that the ” … the normal Christian view (on homosexuality) is not particularly normal or Christian.”

            When Jack suggested otherwise, he pastorally suggested:

            ” “Happy Jack” your concept of Salvation is essentially Pelagian / Islamic …. I hope one day you discover Christianity which I find to have a richer and fuller view of grace and salvation than the view you articulate ….”

            All Jack said was homosexuality was a sin and such temptation should be resisted. Being a terribly kind and helpful man, he went on to give Jack a lesson in reading the bible:

            “As to the Bible, the first one to mention homosexuality as such was published in 1946. There is a microscopic number of texts that apply, 0.002% in fact, all of them open to various interpretations …. There’s a whole world of meaning in the Bible to be discovered when people take off their homophobic glasses …. My approach to the Bible is not modernistic, but historical and canonical, developed by forty years of reading it in its original texts. All I can suggest is that you read the Bible more carefully.”

            So you see, it is not Alan Wilson who is wrong. Happy Jack is not a Christian but a Pelagian-Muslim variant of some sort who wears homophobic glasses and is ignorant of Christianity.

          • Uncle Brian

            Same sex marriage was the bone of contention, was it, Jack? The casus belli, as you might say, in your run-in with His Eminence? I have an idea we may have been here before, it rings a distant bell, but never mind, here we go again.

            A grasping old bishop of Bucks
            Said, “Marriage for gays, that’s the crucks.
            It’s our business, you see,
            To charge them a fee
            For a wedding the vicar conducks.”

        • carl jacobs

          Sorry, Jack.

          I haven’t been ignoring you. I have just been beating someone else with a stick, and it took all my posting time.

          At this point, I will just say… “Those Brits. They sure don’t understand irony.” He says, laughing to himself. The irony is striking.


          • Yes, Jack noticed your skirmishes elsewhere.

            “we shall fight on the beaches,
            we shall fight on the landing grounds,
            we shall fight in the fields and in the streets,
            we shall fight in the hills;
            we shall never surrender “

          • There is a thing called a double-ironic response, Carl. Once you grasp irony, Jack will explain more. For now, be content will small steps.

          • carl jacobs

            That’s your excuse, huh? I have a far simpler explanation.

          • CliveM

            And the student has become the master…………..!

          • Grasshopper gets ahead of himself ……..

          • Grasshopper:
            “Master. I do not understand all that happened.”

            “No one knows all. Humility may lead to meanness, but vanity may lead to violence. Therefore it is better to be humble.”

          • carl jacobs

            When you can snatch the irony from my hand, then it will be time for you to go.

          • When you can hold irony in your hand, then you will begin to understand.

          • carl jacobs

            You don’t recognize the reference?

          • CliveM

            Where is the roll of rice paper? You need two tests…..

          • Eaten ….

          • CliveM

            Don’t tell Carl, it’ll confirm his prejudice about our culinary standards!

          • Grasshopper, but of course Jack does.

          • carl jacobs

            You Googled that, didn’t you. Because if you had recognized the reference you would have known that there was no answer.

            I’m watching you, Jack.

          • Grasshopper …. there is always an answer.

            Seek first to understand the question before searching for the answer.

          • carl jacobs

            Yeah. It’s called ‘snatching the pebble.’ No one ever said “When you can hold the pebble in your hand, then you will begin to understand.”

            It’s not Canon, Jack.

          • What are these man made rules, Carl?
            The pebble is metaphor ….

            “Master, do we seek victory in contention?”
            “Seek rather not to contend.”

          • CliveM

            As I said, pretentious cack!

          • It we’re being purists here, then one cannot “snatch the pebble”, Carl. It has to be taken. There is a difference.

          • carl jacobs

            You’re being hyper-technical. He said “As quickly as you can, snatch the pebble from my hand.” I quoted the common usage of the follow-up statement because that’s what people typically say. Either way, there is no response akin to what you invented.

          • You don’t see the contradiction between the Master’s two statements? Or what he intended?
            “Quickly as you can, snatch the pebble from my hand.”
            The young Caine tries and fails.
            “”When you can take the pebble from my hand, it will be time for you to leave.”
            As for invention, once you can take the pebble, without haste or snatching, you will comprehend.

          • CliveM

            I had forgotten what pretentious cack this was!

          • *gasp*

          • CliveM

            Why are you surprised I had forgotten?!!

            At my age, the memory can start to go.

          • Jack thought the programme really rather excellent for its time.

          • CliveM

            It was certainly of its time. It would be viewed as a bit new agey now.

      • carl jacobs said …

        One has only to spend a short time on Alan Wilson’s to realize that his condemnation is a badge of honor. In a sound church, he would not be a bishop. So what then does his opinion matter?


        7 July 2014 at 14:30

  • Rob Bentley

    Does His Grace protest too much?

  • Spock Puppet

    Just get on with it. If you can elect a PM in one day, a pope in 7, and an archbishop of Canterbury in, er, 500 or so, then how long does it take to find a Christian?

  • sarky

    Christian power?? Bit of an oxymoron that one. The problem is that christians can only be a big fish in their own little pond. Place them into a bigger pond and they just get eaten up. Can’t think of one modern christian who has made any difference in the UK. Even Mr Welby is shouted down and seen as irrelevant outside the church.

    • Nick

      Hi sarky, hope you are well. Hurray! We finally agree that Blair, Bush and Cameron are not Christians…

      • sarky

        Think the ‘666’ hidden behind the ear gives it away!!!

    • Do you have French ancestors?

      • sarky


        • Sarky, then you are without excuse.
          Suppose you were a plonker. Now suppose you were an atheist. Ah, but Jack repeats himself.

          • sarky

            That maybe Jack, but outside of christian circles, how many of these people are known? (Remember, we live in a country where half the population dont know the name of their local mp)

  • Nick

    Maybe we just get the Christian celebrities we deserve. God may not have favourites. But we do.

  • Inspector General

    Mr Kippling was invited to a tea party thrown by the Bishop of Barcester and Bucks. On arrival, he was met by Mrs Proudie, who bid the fellow to sit down and enjoy a refreshing cup of tea. “Mr Kippling, would you like to try some gay cake”

    Mr Kippling was most taken aback at this unusual request but replied “My dear lady, by all means. By all means”. And so a beaming Mrs Proudie presented our game man with a handsome slice of said cake, and together they both bit in”.

    “Mr Kippling, how do you like your gay cake. It was baked specially for the occasion by one of our dearest parishioners and his, er, young lodger.” “My dear Mrs Proudie, I must inform you that your most generous of slices tastes like it was baked inside a rectum”. Mrs Proudie, ever the most competent and able of hostesses, gently put her slice down and replied “Oh really, Mr Kippling, you think so”.

    “I very much do Mrs Proudie, but rejoice, I anticipated this whole unfortunate”.

    “And how, may I ask, did you do that” asked a supremely-in-control Mrs Proudie

    “Dear heart, what is more natural at a Church of England garden party these days, than lashings and lashings of gay propaganda, in the Chinese style of dripping tap torture or the full blown have-some-gay-cake variety”

    Mrs Proudie, turned her head slightly away. “Yes, you are right”, she regretted, “but the deed is done and we have nothing but gay cake left”

    But Mr Kippling had the last word. From inside a box he had
    brought with him, he presented to Mrs Proudie a tray of deliciously tasty ‘Mr Kippling’s Anal Fancies’ and, no less, an even larger tray of his very highly rated ‘Mr Kippling’s Militant Fairy cakes’. Mr Kippling had saved the day and Mrs Proudie was delighted, and in a display of unabashed naked emotion, she threw herself at Mr Kippling and kissed him, and kissed him. And she kissed him in places where he’d never been kissed before, including the ears and eye-lids.
    Mr Kippling was most amused, and said “You can get off me now…”

    The End.

    Brought to Cranmer’s following by the ‘Repeal SSM Now!’ campaign
    Produced and directed by the Inspector General.
    The Cast
    Mrs Proudie – Herself
    Mr Kippling – The Inspector
    Dearest Parishioner – Carl Jacobs
    Young Lodger – DanJ0
    Bishop of Barcester and Bucks – Jack

    • Shadrach Fire

      An enchanting production Inspector. Clearly Gayness is everywhere now.
      May I sign your campaign?

      • Inspector General

        Shadrach. The Inspector has enrolled you in the ‘Gross Indecency’ club. An unfortunate and dare it be said, misleading choice of name, as the club’s intention is to restore the crime of ‘Gross Indecency in a Public place”. This law is urgently required because when the Brighton police came across two men buggering in public, they couldn’t charge them. This is because the nearest law is ‘Outraging Public Decency’ and as the crowd watching were all poofs, no outrage of their ‘decency’ was taking place. Not to be outdone, Brighton police now have a hashtag campaign, #Zipitup, to stop further incidents.

        Well, policing the public is out of fashion these days, can’t blame them for their lack of interest…

        All this is true, you know…

        • dannybhoy

          It is well known that a great many conveniences have been inconveniently closed down and converted into…. cottages. I found this out years ago being in need of ‘relief’ by Kew Bridge, as opposed to Mafeking.
          Imagine my horror upon approaching the conveniences to find it occupied by “squatters” who seemed rather too pleased to see this handsome stranger.
          I refused to back down and used the urinal and left.
          I found the experience incredibly sordid.

    • Shadrach Fire

      Director Inspector.

      Inspector. Two more scripts for you to follow from the Pontiffs Colloquium on marriage.

    • Mrs Proudie of Barchester

      Goodness! I am shocked, shocked I say! Inspector, you are taking liberties and no mistake! As if I would serve anything other than hobnobs! REALLY!

      • Inspector General

        Come now Mrs Proudie. No false modesty from you. It was as much as the Inspector could do to stop you taking your bra off in the garden scenes….

        • dannybhoy

          Now that’s funny! Not keen on the rest of it though Inspector…

        • CliveM


          Why is it I never get invited to these parties?

    • DanJ0

      I don’t suppose anyone has ever noticed this before but you seem to have a fixation with anal sex. I can’t imagine why that might be. There must be something in psycho-analysis that might give a clue about why If only we had an expert in psycho-analysis here.

      • Why this fixation with the Inspector?

        The Inspector was settled comfortably on the couch and the psychologist began his first session.
        “”I’m not fully aware of this problem you have with homosexuals. So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning.”
        “Of course.” replied our man. “In the beginning, the Inspector created the Heavens and the Earth…”

  • Inspector General

    A disgusting habit that people like you wish to normalise. Unfortunately, you seem to be succeeding.

    You don’t need a psycho-analysis of what’s happening, DanJ0. It’s this man’s determination to break the unhealthy love affair certain clerics in the CoE have with homosexuality, before it drags the church to the ground.

    For clerics reviewing this site who are so inclined, take the Inspector’s test. Commit yourselves to following the antics going on at ‘Pink News’. Read every article and the comments and do so for 14 days continually. After that, ask yourselves – how the hell were you duped…

    • DanJ0

      Perhaps you ought to take a penile plethysmograph while being shown male pornography. I have very little doubt what the result would be, myself. 😉

      • Inspector General

        You’re not a Scoutmaster are you. It’s just that…todays news…oh never mind, you’d only lie. They all do to get the job. One does hope one of the questions is ‘are you or have you ever been a practicing homosexual;. To protect the children, you see. Sod your so called rights.

        • DanJ0

          You only feed your own conflicted mental state with this sort of thing, you know.

          • Inspector General

            Plenty of never married men in their 50s around. Might be an idea not to assume they’re gay. You see, all the laws protecting society from you people have been abolished and that just leaves us with our fists. A jury would understand…

          • DanJ0

            But how many spend an inordinate amount of time hanging around Pink News, interacting with the gay men there? How many of them are demonstrably obsessed with homosexuality and talk about it constantly here despite claiming to be straight? How many seem to have periodic anger management issues about homosexuality? The cohort is much, much smaller, I think, and, well, there is that study about people like you. I mean them. Ahem.


          • Inspector General

            Mere constructs of your imagination. One’s scientific approach to the subject is based on the threat you people are to normal society. If anything, the fact that you blighters have SSM for now only reinforces this man’s worst fears. Whatever next, one wonders. And there will be a next. You’re on a roll…

          • DanJ0

            Perhaps you’d better keep away from the Scouts anyway. Just in case. Who knows when one’s latent homosexuality may rear its ugly head, so to speak.

          • Inspector General

            Here’s something even you might find odd. There has been a tightening of what gay porn (…God help us, but we know it’s bread and butter to you types…) can be produced in the UK
            Pink News informs us that there is to be a
            sitting-on-your-face-in somewhere in London. Those blaggards need locking up …

          • What is this? Has London now run out of chairs?

          • Inspector General

            One won’t go into the mechanics, Jack, but it is a disgusting fully clothed protest. One hopes it makes the news…

          • Yes, Jack understands.

            He sees the rag in question is now running what amounts to a campaign against a man distributing religious leaflets entitled ‘Christmas, Christ and AntiChrist’.

            One is no longer entitled to offend, irritate, shock and disturb.

          • Inspector General

            Indeed. the fellow has been arrested 9 times, so he says, but they can’t hold him due to a clause in ECHR rights whatever. The blackguards who concocted them obviously didn’t see him coming !

            Invaluable site is PN. Allows us to look between Big Gays legs. Bloody awful business down there, and far from right, as you would expect to find…

          • It offers a disturbing insight into the mind of the depraved.

          • Harry

            Yes, it’s run by a Jew. Disturbing, isn’t it.

            Actually seeing what this site harbours in the way of bigotry I suppose I had better explicitly say that the previous sentence is irony…

          • DanJ0

            I see your alleged libertarian politics has disappeared in a puff there, no pun intended. Thanks for keeping me informed of what’s happening over at your favourite hangout. But really, I’m not that interested. I may be homosexual but it’s not my sort of place.

          • Inspector General

            Another fool who thinks libertarianism is a carte blanche for whatever he wants to do. Well, it is subservient to one of the most important attributes of a civilised society, law and order. You homosexuals will be subject to law and order whether you like it or not. Furthermore, the law needs strengthening to protect society from your excesses. In the case of the scouting movement, homosexual men must be banned by law from being part of it. Stuff your uber rights.

            You people are getting to be as bad as the blacks. Another case recently where a black apparently believes that if a police officer has cause to arrest him, he can decline and walk away.

          • DanJ0

            Scratch the surface and look what festers underneath.

          • Inspector General

            Yes, one has come across that interesting theory time and time again. It goes thus: If a man is truly heterosexual and is comfortable with his sexuality, he won’t mind at all if the homos do their thing at whatever cost. However, if the man is suffering from latent homosexuality, he wishes to shout his gay brothers down, for fear he develop full blown gay.

            As one says, it’s an interesting theory which makes no allowance whatsoever for the human sentiment of disgust, and the appreciation of God’s natural ‘normal’ order that the likes of you defy and wish to disrupt…

          • Harry

            it is pretty terrible. Does scratch the surface of a gay and also find a Jew perhaps. After all the proprietor of Pinknews is Jewish and we know what they are like don’t we.

          • Homosexual desire, when expressed, is most certainly ugly. And teenage children would appear to be at risk too from sexual predators of this persuasion.

          • Artificial wombs and cloning …… Human rights, you see.

          • Harry

            That is interesting too. In terms of human rights, apart from various educational issues I think LGBT rights are almost complete int his country. I am of the strong belief that diversity is not about one strand but all. The next job I am concentrating on is the right to die.I feel I owe it to the many supporters we gays have found int he straight community to make sure we give back and help on other human rights issues.

          • Hmmm ……

            But how many spend an inordinate amount of time hanging around Christian blogs, interacting with Christians there? How many of them are demonstrably obsessed with God and talk about Him constantly here despite claiming to be an a-theist? How many seem to have periodic anger management issues about Christianity?

          • Leacock

            That is an amusing comment DanJ0, what are you doing on this site then, spending so much time interacting with social conservatives? Could it be… are you actually a raging social conservative? Just come out of the closet DanJ0, I’m sure your friends and family will still love you.

          • Only in the minds of the troubled and disturbed who project their wrongly directed desires (i.e. perversions) onto others.

        • Harry

          The inspector general should perhaps cause to consider whether he is one of those virulent anti-gays who actually harbour feelings of same sex attraction. As he is doubtless aware, there is a correlation.

          • Inspector General

            The Inspector General must disappoint you there. You see, his objection to homosexuality is purely based on its malign influence on society. As for yourself, bugger away until you’re buggered silly. Don’t forget to rubber up as they say, but in reality few do and have cause to regret it…

          • Harry

            I don’t, as it happens, practise buggery with my husband.

            Could you please explain, specifically what harm to society the existence of a middle aged married couple consisting of one lawyer and one teacher actually occasions to society. I think we contribute as do many married professional couples. tell me why we don’t.

          • Inspector General

            Standards, dear boy. Standards. Otherwise you debase the currency…

            One is delighted you and your pal have a CP, and that it lasts until death do you part. But let’s keep marriage as what it is. Something special between two members of the opposite sex. A hopefully stable platform with which to raise the next generation. It’s not to be considered a badge of equality. You have no wife, so how can you claim parity with married people. You can’t, but you’ll try…

          • Harry

            That fails to answer the question of course.

            it is indeed fortunate that dreadful and bigoted attitudes like that are losing supporters even amongst Christians. You doubtless meant to cause offence, so I will not rise to it. it would actually be quite interesting to meet you to see where you get those views from. Maybe something in your family past.

            I am a lawyer but I will do what lawyers don’t usually do and give you some free advice. Be careful when you express those views in the workplace (if you are not too old to work, as you may very well be) you may find yourself in a difficult position. In most professional firms these days, certainly including the law firm in which I have the honour to be a partner, respect for people’s marriages is considered essential to working in a civilised environment. Anyone who refused to refer to a lawfully married spouse as “husband” or “wife” as appropriate would be in serious trouble. And rightly so.

          • Inspector General

            Thank you for your unwanted advice.

            This man does not kneel before online thugs who threaten him, directly or indirectly, with prosecution for not bowing to dogshit marriage.

            Good day to you…

          • Harry

            You should learn that there is a difference between “prosecution” for breach of the criminal law and civil disciplinary proceeds in the workplace, which result if successful in your being fired. In the workplace, as you would see if you had read properly what I said rather than flying off into a homophobic rage, your worst risk is to be fired.

            I am minded to opine that what you said is not criminal hate speech although “dogshit marriage” comes quite close to the line.

          • Inspector General

            Some people just don’t accept gay marriage. Get over it. You have the right to be annoyed that this man is one of them. Value that right. it’s precious…

          • Harry

            I am not angry with people like that – after all they can have no effect on my life. I simply despise them.

          • Inspector General

            Don’t despise them, that takes effort. Mental effort of the wrong sort, negative. Just refuse to acknowledge their existence. Much better idea…

          • Harry

            Refusing to acknowledge their existence is foolish if they really do exist. And they do. And they may hurt people less robust than I.

            OK. An olive branch. I wonder if the Inspector General has actually met any gay married people. If he lives within a reasonable distance of London this poster would be happy to meet him, to buy him a coffee or a pint, and to talk to him about what it is like being gay and married; and to hear him talk about what his concerns with the whole thing are. Perhaps we might both learn something. If you want to take this offer up say so in reply and we will find a way of getting in touch.

          • Inspector General

            Live a bit too far from London just to drop in, but thanks for the offer. I’m sure you are an excellent chap along with your partner, but that’s not the point is it. He’s not your spouse. One has drawn a line in the sand over this.

          • Leacock

            So you don’t believe in freedom of speech (or following what words actually mean)? how progressive of you.

          • Harry

            First, I know what the law is. being a lawyer and all that.

            Secondly as you well know freedom of speech is not absolute. The law requires people at all times to refrain from hate speech (I will give the inspector the benefit of the doubt and stipulate, as the Americans say, that what he said was not hate speech though it is close to the line); and also, in the workplace, to refrain from “creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment” for LGBT people. If the IG came up with the remarks to which I was replying in a work context then (a) he would be liable to disciplinary proceedings and (b) the employer would be liable to proceedings at the suit of any LGBT employee to whom the remarks were addressed.

          • Leacock

            Then you do indeed believe merely that people should be free to say things that you agree with and nothing more. What a fine upstanding liberal you are.

          • Leacock

            And why would that matter Harry? Even if one were, that would merely be a sign that homosexuality is a choice….

  • Speculation is mounting about candidates for the Top 100 Christians. Jack understands Brother Eccles has “been weeded out, so as to give everyone else a chance.” A report from his blog suggests others withdrawn at this early stage include the Dalai Lama, Adolf Hitler, and Mohammed.

    The Bishop of Buckingham – he who has a beard and a book to promote which helps one remove one’s homophobic glasses – may or may not still be under consideration.

  • Martin

    I wonder if it has occurred to anyone that any good works done by those nominated are not their good works but God’s

    For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

    (Ephesians 2:10 [ESV]

    • Martin, God has been ruled out as He does not have a UK passport.

      • Martin


        My point is that since every good work a Christian does is God’s work, hence none have any good works to be judged by.

        • Yes, Jack understands the theology. However, taken too far and we are just puppets acting out a part predetermined by God. Are you saying the actions of men like Andrew White have no human merit?

          • Martin


            What do you understand by Rev 4:10-11?

  • Breaking News:

    The Bishop of Bucks makes a late dash down the back straight for the winning post. Sporting a very dashing beard, Alan, as he likes to be known, delivered his eagerly awaited Christmas Day message to the world, nation. Pink News. Watched by tens of millions of viewers, he never mentioned his new book once. .

    In a thinly veiled criticism of his brother bishops (and soon to be sisters) he sighed, stroking his majestic beard thoughtfully, “We still have a legacy of serious institutional homophobia, inertia and ignorance to overcome.” He observed, “The fact is, however, where people dare to think things could be different, think things through without prejudice, there is hope.”

    Filled with prophetic vision, he added, “Some gay clergy are now married. In very few years people will wonder what the fuss was all about.” Urging a girding of loins, he went on and on and on, “But for now it’s a path that calls for considerable courage and determination.” Not wishing to impose traditional practises on others, he said, “If you’re the praying sort, do remember LGBTI people searching for hope at home in those churches that just don’t get equality.” He exclaimed, “There is hope.”. Unlike those who don’t get it, who’s prejudice, homophobia and ignorance make them the baddies, a new generation of evangelical Christians are being far more” truthful, just and generous.”

    Beat that Queen Elizabeth.

  • Away in a Sweatshop
    (Tune: Away in a Manger)

    Away in a sweatshop,
    a pittance for pay,
    are children like ours,
    who slave night and day.

    The bosses above them
    look down where they are,
    the world’s poorest children,
    with no Christmas star.

    No presents, no Santa,
    no parties, no cake,
    Just long hours of working,
    our bargains to make.

    No playtime, no schooling,
    no medical care –
    for these sweatshop children
    there’s nothing that’s fair.

    Be near me, cheap clothing,
    I ask thee to stay.
    Don’t charge me fair prices
    or give them fair pay.

    Bless all sweatshop workers
    at Christmas this year,
    but don’t ask hard questions
    about all my gear.

    (Mark Earey)