The letters of St Paul have always needed a woman’s touch
Oh my Goodness, what a week! Barchester may have settled into the slumbering season of mists and mellow fruitfulness, but the rest of the world continues to be rocked by…
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Wrestling with Scripture? Is it time to transgender our macho theology?
The Rt Rev'd Paul Bayes, Bishop of Liverpool, posed the question of whether the phrases we use to describe biblical exposition are "too macho". The Rt Rev'd Pete Wilcox, Bishop of Sheffield, responded: Setting aside that you might think there…
“The devil’s arm grows longer by the minute…”
Goodness! In the light of recent events in Parsons Green, the ever-dynamic government of Sharia Dismay has taken action, as I discovered when I called in at Mr. Ballcock’s Ironmongery…
“We are leaving the Unholy Bureaucratic Empire in the nick of time”
Goodness! One wonders if Mr. Clegg’s pants are on fire, now that we know for sure the Zollverein are planning a European Army and a non-elected supreme Kaiser-president with full…
Why doesn’t Piers Morgan criticise Islam’s “archaic” views on marriage, abortion and homosexuality?
Goodness! One sits at one’s escritoire with correspondence and newspapers scattered hither and thither wondering which snippets of news to comment upon. Outside, the evening draws in. The lamplighter makes…
Trump donates $1m of his own cash to Hurricane Harvey relief fund: “howls from the left that it is not enough!”
Goodness! One is quite relieved that hurricanes hardly happen in our dear Home Counties, though the occasional flash-flooding is not altogether unknown. The news from Texas is terribly upsetting, but…
Pope Francis says the rights of migrants trump the security of nations. Will he disband the Swiss Guard, tear down the Vatican City Walls, and put up a sign saying ‘Mi casa su casa’?
Goodness! Let me try to understand: you invite a poor migrant into your home, expressing compassion and understanding, whilst providing food, clothing and shelter; the migrant then asks if his…
Anti-statue-ism: Wellington must fall (he called his troops ‘the scum of the earth’)
Goodness! The pen is mightier than the sword, or so they say, and the truth of this is clearly demonstrated by my letter to Mr. Kim Jong-un, which seems to…
“White slavery is alive and well in this sceptred isle, and nothing is being done”
Goodness! One shall think twice about accepting invitations to Newcastle. The prospect of being lured into a lust-pit of Ugandan relations with swarthy multi-kultis is too horrifying to contemplate, and…
The Abominable Gove and the Piece of Cod which passeth all understanding
Unlike Mary Kingsley, I have never had the slightest desire to spread the word of the Lord in Africa. Too many insects for my liking, not to mention all the…
“We traditionalists have kept our finger in the dyke for long enough…”
Goodness! There has been so much rain over the last few days that Barchester has almost become an island, cut off from the rest of humanity. We discovered the Palace…
An illicit blessing ceremony for the transgendered
Goodness! A copy of the proposed ‘New Revised-Revised Post-Synodical Common Purpose Bible’ was delivered by courier yesterday for my Lord the Bishop to peruse before it is presented to Parliament…
“The Church of England leaps with enthusiasm from one heresy to another”
Goodness! Someone asked from whence I glean the little snippets of news which form the ‘meat’ of my weekly column. Of course, they almost all feature in the pages of…
The Holy Spirit of Common Sense inspires the Book of Common Purpose
Goodness! The last thing one expects when attending a concert is rabble-rousing, but that is exactly what was on the programme when my Lord the Bishop and I attended the…
CofE General Sex Synod 2017: not one question about the Persecuted Church
Over the past few months Christians in the village of Jalalabad in Ghazipur District, India, where temperatures frequently soar to 40°C, have had their water supply cut to force them…
‘Girding the Loins for Jesus: A Christian’s Guide to Weaponising Your Surgical Appliance’
Goodness! How quickly the year speeds by. Summer already, though you wouldn’t know it from the grey sky and daily precipitation. At least my butt is full to capacity, which…
You cannot “draw the poison from Brexit” without extracting deception from the human heart
'Where there is no vision, the people perish', the Archbishop of Canterbury writes in the Mail on Sunday, reminding is that the Authorised Version still resonates down the ages, and…
Time to don the Breastplate of Righteous Indignation
Horrors! Shudders! Gasp! Just what is going on? That Swedish Lesbish (new ecclesiastical title for those mitred Friends of Dorothy) of Stockholm has declared churches and cathedrals must remove all…
Corbyn is not the Messiah: he’s a very dangerous Marxist-Leninist agitator who knows some very naughty boys
O calamity! What can one say about the election other than a debacle, a disaster and a right royal mess! I never thought Mrs. Dismay to be as sure-footed and…
“Have the British people taken leave of their senses?”
Goodness! What a night! Election fever gripped Barchester good and proper, with rival parties parading round the town until the early hours, brandishing torches and yelling their heads off. Being…